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I see both my ex's as aquaintances, too much has happened for me to trust them as friends. I have no contact with either of them and that's fine. It's just that I can't trust someone who I know is capable of the things they both did, not just to me but to others while I was with them. Let's just say they are not nice people.
It's up to the individual, I suppose. In some cases it works out.
NO. its stupid and self inflicting, to remain "friends" with Ex's.
If they were so great they wouldnt be Ex's.
Cut the tie, say it was nice while you had it, learn from the mistakes cuz you both made them (generally speaking) and move on. And try to NOT repeat the same mistakes. Many people gravitate to the same type of personality of people they just broke up with, and then wonder why they have such bad luck the next time around, they dont give enough time in between and rebound.
After each break up, give it 6 months to relearn yourself, enjoy you and your friends, go to a palces you have not gone before, museums, theatre, sport events, there is no rush to be in a relationship, when the right one comes a long you will know, you cant rush these things.
Do you think friendship after a serious, committed relationship can work? Why? Or why not?
In some cases I guess it can. Im on very amicable terms with my ex. We're not the best of friends, like we don't hang out, but occasionally he will ask me to go somewhere with him and my son. Sometimes I go and sometimes I decline the offer. It just makes things a lot easier, especially if you have kids together, to be nice and friendly to one another. Im even friendly to all of his new girlfriends, sometimes it's not reciprocated by the "catty" one's, but hey, that's ok, Im still going to be nice for my son's sake.
My best friend and I are ex's. We dated for 3 yrs, we married different people. He has always been a good support system, especially when we broke up and I was dating a controlling person. best friend helped me to get away from that relationship. My husband and I went to friend's wedding, and we often go to their house for dinner. They love our son and send him gifts for christmas or birthday. My husband's ex girlfriend, was in the delivery room when I had my son. How's that for staying friends??!! She and our families are very close. We are always invited to family functions, regardless of what they are. Our kids play well together too. I am glad to have stayed friends for over 15 yrs with my best friend. We weren't so great while dating but we are great as friends!
Do you think friendship after a serious, committed relationship can work? Why? Or why not?
Only if you have children in common, and you can put aside your personal issues with the other person to be effective co-parents. Otherwise, why bother?
While I think I agree with the rest of your post, I think this is incredibly unfair. There are so many different reasons people break up, and I think it's quite possible that depending on what happened and how both people behaved in the relationship that a friendship can be feasible after some time has passed. The person doesn't necessarily become unworthy of friendship because he or she was not a good significant other.
It depends on the situation. I have an ex-husband, and wouldn't be friends with him if he were the last man on the planet. I have another ex who I thought I could be friends with, but I was still too attracted to him (not for the best reasons, unfortunately). I think it's not a good idea to be too close and friendly with exes, anyway. When children are involved, that's different, but many times it's still more of a business relationship than a true friendship.
I think it's possible. We were together for 4 years. Then i did not want to be with him anymore, and he was soo pissed off...he couldn't believe it.... I asked him to be my friend...he said he couldn't....
A year after that I got married, and my ex was furious.... but 6 months later we could talk....and now I can say that we are friends. We can talk about many things, he comes to visit me, and he even met my husband .....and he even admitted that it was his fault . Though I wouldn't call him my best friend....i could never keep my best friends who were guys...they would fall in love, then i would explain that we're just friends, then they get mad....and after all we become friends again (but not "the best").
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