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There was a very recent thread from a man who wanted to jet off to Peru while his boring wife stayed with her boring family in Ohio and took care of the children. Maybe he could use a travel buddy.
Perhaps. No, I wouldn't do that, but hearing Ohio vs. anyplace, I can understand why he'd head so far away.
There aren't trust issues as I haven't done anything outside of our marriage. She lacks in confidence in her appearance, but there's nothing I've done (or haven't done) or said (or haven't said) to cause this, so she feels that I'm always looking to replace her (I'm not and have told her and I'm an open book with her).
To me, this is a much more important issue than whether or not you should travel alone.
If you know she is insecure about your feelings for her, why on Earth would you consider traveling alone? Don't you realize that will make her even more insecure?
I'm not saying that her insecurity is all your fault. 90% of it is in her head. But if she still feels this way, you need to do your part and work hard to help her improve her self-esteem. Maybe it would be better if were a little resistant to her vacations with the girls. Let her know you would miss her.
Under the circumstances, you two need more time together, not less.
To me, this is a much more important issue than whether or not you should travel alone.
If you know she is insecure about your feelings for her, why on Earth would you consider traveling alone? Don't you realize that will make her even more insecure?
I'm not saying that her insecurity is all your fault. 90% of it is in her head. But if she still feels this way, you need to do your part and work hard to help her improve her self-esteem. Maybe it would be better if were a little resistant to her vacations with the girls. Let her know you would miss her.
Under the circumstances, you two need more time together, not less.
I'm only considering travel alone if I can't find any friends to travel with just as she travels with her friends. I also still plan to have trips with her and with the family. If I'm a little resistant, what should be the outcome for me if she still decides to go? Should I plan no trips for myself? Go nowhere? Remain at square one?
I'm only considering travel alone if I can't find any friends to travel with just as she travels with her friends. I also still plan to have trips with her and with the family. If I'm a little resistant, what should be the outcome for me if she still decides to go? Should I plan no trips for myself? Go nowhere? Remain at square one?
I would find travel buddies at Meetup or join a group tour. If I were insecure, and my husband travelled alone, I would worry that he is not REALLY alone.
I would find travel buddies at Meetup or join a group tour. If I were insecure, and my husband travelled alone, I would worry that he is not REALLY alone.
For some reason, the idea of a married man traveling alone seems odd to me. It's one thing to be on a business trip or a guys' weekend or to visit family, but just going somewhere by himself? I don't know. I might think he's trying to get away from me. Maybe it's just because I don't know too many men who jet off alone.
What bothers me is that a grown man feels the need to "get approval" from his wife to travel when she herself travels freely.
I haven't asked permission to do anything since I was about 13 or 14 and I'm damn sure not going to ask my husband if I can have his permission to go somewhere I want to go.
I would find travel buddies at Meetup or join a group tour. If I were insecure, and my husband travelled alone, I would worry that he is not REALLY alone.
I can understand that, but I don't think that traveling with buddies would reduce that feeling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
For some reason, the idea of a married man traveling alone seems odd to me. It's one thing to be on a business trip or a guys' weekend or to visit family, but just going somewhere by himself? I don't know. I might think he's trying to get away from me. Maybe it's just because I don't know too many men who jet off alone.
My point in asking the question was to understand how anyone else (man or woman) brought up the subject with their SO. In the absence of the possibility for a guys weekend and no business trips in the near future, what are my options for travel that don't include the wife or wife and kids scenario? Recall, she has taken trips and will take more with her friends.
What bothers me is that a grown man feels the need to "get approval" from his wife to travel when she herself travels freely.
I haven't asked permission to do anything since I was about 13 or 14 and I'm damn sure not going to ask my husband if I can have his permission to go somewhere I want to go.
I believe that husbands and wives share some duty to one another when you're looking at spending money outside the norm. A trip is one of those things. Not really permission, but more like "hey, I'm planning to take a trip with others, but if they don't come, how do you feel if I go alone." As some of the responses have indicated, they're pretty much in line with what I would expect from her. "Is he alone?" "Is he trying to get away from me?" The last thing I want is to return with my family gone.
Well, first it's probably a bad idea to be keeping score, and second, what kinds of trips are you thinking of taking? If she's said that she always has wanted to go somewhere or do something, and you suggest that you go there alone, that's not going to go over well. A few years ago my father went on a package tour of Gettysburg led by a historian, which is something my mother wouldn't have wanted to do in the first place. It's not like he was drinking margaritas on the beach by himself while she sat at home.
We go on three snowboarding trips a year and their wives go on cruises without them (One is a travel agent and gets good deals)
I think it's normal.. my buddies never to seem to mind that their wives go on cruises with the girls.
Last edited by MarshallV84; 01-14-2014 at 11:15 AM..
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. No, I wouldn't do that, but hearing Ohio vs. anyplace, I can understand why he'd head so far away.
