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I agree. I'm a pretty extreme introvert, but I can at least put myself into the place of an extravert, and understand, at least in an intellectual level, how their needs and experiences as different from mine. But I spend a lot of time self-examining, trying to understand how I arrived at certain opinions and conclusions, and I spend a lot of time visualizing myself in the other person's shoes. I wonder if this is not common or possible for the majority of extraverts?
It seems like if they actually try to put themselves in my place, they are still trying to see my point of view from their own extravert eyes. So in trying to have empathy for me, they try to see things from my point of view, but come to the conclusion that I really can't possibly be happy with all that alone-time. I can't possibly not have a deep need for constant contact with others. So I "must" be defending myself in some unhealthy way. I "must" be making this up to try to be tough or something. I "must" really be like them, an extravert, and my professed introvert needs are just something I'm making up for some unknown reason. It must just be something silly that I'll "get over" in time.
So my introversion becomes something they might just roll their eyes at, or claim that I'm making a big deal about nothing.
Like I described in another thread, trying to get an extravert to understand an introvert's point of reference is like trying to explain to a goldfish what life outside of water is like. If the goldfish ever has experienced being out of water, even for a brief time, he found it very unpleasant, so he concludes that all us non-fish must have something wrong with us, since we prefer being out of the water.
I love this post!!! Especially the bit about the fish. This is exactly what I see extroverts go through when they try to see things through my eyes.
Maybe it is because, as introverts in general, we're more internal (as in we think more about what we do, why we do it, etc). Who knows.
I think I am balanced however as I've gotten older and had my son I've noticed I'm more introvert but still like my extrovert side occasionally. Happy medium I think.
Give me a reason why I'm missing out? I don't want to be around extreme extroverted women.
Hmmm.....let me think skippy.....I'm not one, rather I fluctuate.
But some can motivate you, some introduce you to influential people, never bored, fun activities, some are very loving and care if you are ok...I'm sure there are more.
Hmmm.....let me think skippy.....I'm not one, rather I fluctuate.
But some can motivate you, some introduce you to influential people, never bored, fun activities, some are very loving and care if you are ok...I'm sure there are more.
Wanna hug?
I can do all of that and I'm an introvert. I can talk your ear off too. But I reach a limit on social interaction and need quiet/alone time, whereas an extrovert never hits that wall.
Anyone else navigating an introvert/extrovert pairing? What challenges have you faced?
In the last few years, I'd say yes to that. For the first 10 years or so, we were both introverted. However, I became more social a few years ago. It doesn't create many problems, but I do have to go out alone sometimes to do things with friends. Previously, my wife was a little more outgoing than me, but it was probably just due to better conversational skills - I developed mine more later. Now I find myself arranging things with several friends or organizing a wine tasting - I would never have done that before.
I have dated extroverts - and usually liked it. As long as we could communicate well about our differing needs to recharge, we could always compromise or get what we needed most of the time.
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