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Old 01-17-2014, 02:10 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,779,722 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
First dates, yes, subsequent dates, no. Once a relationship is established, there tends to be a mutual back and forth when making plans, and women are more often in the position to treat their BFs to a gourmet home cooked meal, tickets to a show, a round of drinks at the bar, a weekend getaway, etc.

Again, some relationship experience will make this dynamic more clear.
So I'm not certain if this is the specific complaint that a lot of the men are addressing but consider what dating is like when you're dating around in the interest of finding someone worth a relationship. If you agree that men do most of the asking, that means men do most of the paying as well. A guy might go on 20 dates (I'm making these numbers up, obviously) looking for a great woman, and a woman might do the same with 20 guys.

Those first dates with those 20 people have to happen somehow. Most of the time, if it's going to happen at all, it's the guy who does the asking, and therefore, the paying. So those 20 dates will cost, well....a lot. It depends on the date, but that's a whole other thread.

In a relationship, the scenario you describe is both awesome and common. But on your way TO that point, there's a lot of dating.

As for me specifically? Sending a DM about it. Not everyone cares about my dating background.

 
Old 01-17-2014, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,401 posts, read 34,538,432 times
Reputation: 73474
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray_Finkle View Post

That first thread especially...almost all the women say they wouldn't go out with a guy again if he didn't pay on the first date.

But as usual, all the women are telling us that we men are wrong. What else is new?

See, here's the thing Skippy.....


I wouldn't go out with a guy if he didn't pay on the first date. Right or wrong? Don't care. Wanna know why?

Because this has never been an issue with any man I have ever dated.

So be right if you like, hold on to that 10 bucks, and date whatever women are left who don't mind if you don't pay.
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Old 01-17-2014, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Houston, Tx
8,227 posts, read 11,112,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
I'm sorry, did any woman state that a man should always pay for everything, regardless of her income? I believe that is the statement you are trying to defend. Nothing was ever said about first dates.

Most rational people with manners will agree that whoever invites the other person on a date should also offer to pay. Male or female. Yes?
Come on, you know better than that. Men do the overwhelming majority of the asking out, therefore men end up paying for most of the dates/relationship. I've heard numerous women on here say they would NEVER ask a man out. So to say "who ever ask pays" is a convenient cop out for women to avoid paying their share of dating/relationship.
 
Old 01-17-2014, 02:23 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,779,722 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks View Post
Come on, you know better than that. Men do the overwhelming majority of the asking out, therefore men end up paying for most of the dates/relationship. I've heard numerous women on here say they would NEVER ask a man out. So to say "who ever ask pays" is a convenient cop out for women to avoid paying their share of dating/relationship.

Personally, I agree with this, and a thought came up while I was typing another response.

Even if we agree that things are truly 50/50 in a relationship financially (and even if you don't, let's do so to keep things simpler, eh?), what about the dates you go on while you're trying to find the right person for a relationship? How many dates with how many women/men does it take until you find someone appropriate for you? It can add up for the guys that do the asking.
 
Old 01-17-2014, 02:30 PM
 
339 posts, read 378,970 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
What is the scope of your dating experience, exactly? I really need to know your credentials before I can accept your blanket statements and ass-pulled statistics. Thanks.
Extensive. Thanks.
 
Old 01-17-2014, 02:32 PM
 
339 posts, read 378,970 times
Reputation: 353
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
See, here's the thing Skippy.....


I wouldn't go out with a guy if he didn't pay on the first date. Right or wrong? Don't care. Wanna know why?

Because this has never been an issue with any man I have ever dated.

So be right if you like, hold on to that 10 bucks, and date whatever women are left who don't mind if you don't pay.

Ahhhh feminism. Equality when it's beneficial. Traditionalism when THAT'S beneficial.

Feminism = choices for women, obligations for men.
 
Old 01-17-2014, 02:33 PM
 
339 posts, read 378,970 times
Reputation: 353
Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks View Post
Come on, you know better than that. Men do the overwhelming majority of the asking out, therefore men end up paying for most of the dates/relationship. I've heard numerous women on here say they would NEVER ask a man out. So to say "who ever ask pays" is a convenient cop out for women to avoid paying their share of dating/relationship.
Ding ding ding. Give that man a prize.
 
Old 01-17-2014, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,401 posts, read 34,538,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray_Finkle View Post
Ahhhh feminism. Equality when it's beneficial. Traditionalism when THAT'S beneficial.

Feminism = choices for women, obligations for men.
Ahhhh, feminism = choices for women.


Just seems to be that fact that seems to really anger some guys.

See, you have the choice too. JUST. DON'T. PAY. See how choices work? It really is that simple.

BUT, you know a lot of women probably wouldn't go out with you again if you make that choice. For every action there is a reaction....

"Feminism" aside, the guys wouldn't let me pay. Period. So that has nothing to do with a women's view, that's coming from the men's perspective.

Your argument is shallow and self-serving.


Personally I would never kvetch about pay/not pay. They have their choices to make and women have theirs. I would never presume to dictate to others how they date, certainly wouldn't waste any time or emotion on the subject.

It's dating, you either want to go along with "it" (whatever the "it" is), or you don't. No one makes you date specific people, it's a choice. Pretty easy.
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Old 01-17-2014, 02:50 PM
 
339 posts, read 378,970 times
Reputation: 353
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Ahhhh, feminism = choices for women.


Just seems to be that fact that seems to really anger some guys.

See, you have the choice too. JUST. DON'T. PAY. See how choices work? It really is that simple.

BUT, you know a lot of women probably wouldn't go out with you again if you make that choice. For every action there is a reaction....

"Feminism" aside, the guys wouldn't let me pay. Period. So that has nothing to do with a women's view, that's coming from the men's perspective.

Your argument is shallow and self-serving.
And so is yours. You clearly stated that you wouldn't see a guy again solely on the grounds of him not paying for the first date. If that's not shallow, I don't know what is.
 
Old 01-17-2014, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,401 posts, read 34,538,432 times
Reputation: 73474
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray_Finkle View Post
And so is yours.
Lack of reading comprehension?


My point is.... date who ever, whom ever, and how ever you want. There is no point in telling others how they should date.
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