Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As a woman, how do you counteract their meanness/*******ness towards you when they realize you are the only female in the office who is less than impressed and will not go along with their antics? When they realize that you are ACTUALLY NOT attracted to them and are not capable of being whipped into a frenzy to the point where you are ready to jump their bones like the other gals???
Oh! I really need help with this because it has gotten me in trouble in the past. I have been on sheeit lists and lost positions behind it. I am a very serious character and I jdgaf about stroking a man's ego (or anyone's for that matter) and 99.9% of the time, refuse to allow myself to be charmed. My stance is I go to work to work and not to make you feel good about yourself. It's a little unsettling that these types always seem to find their way towards me. I've tried keeping my distance but it seems that only makes them more aggressive.
I'm getting tired of this and I need some advice. I notice when I do give them the time of day (small talk usually related to work) they act like they can't be bothered, lol. It's like a vicious cycle and I'm tired of being sucked in. There's one in the office now who I think has just given up altogether but has put me on his ignore list. Why are people like this?
To be honest, if this is a pattern for you and you have actually lost jobs because of this, I would think the issue is with you, not them. It sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder about certain people, is it possible while you think you are just being "serious" that it comes off as you being the judgmental one and appears you are going out of your way to not be nice to them?
I have worked with many people I didn't like through the years, and they have never known it. That is how you keep your professional life professional.
True. I guess I just assumed she was defining it as "a really hot person." That's the only way I've heard the term used. I guess in this case it means "person who isn't hot, but other people seem to think he is."
I want to have a response to this thread, but I can't move beyond trying to grasp the concept of "hottie that you are not attracted to." That seems like a contradiction to me. What about him causes you to refer to him as a hottie if he's not attractive?
I understand your point, however, just because someone is hot does not mean that you are/will be attracted to them. When I say hottie, I meant moreso in terms of the way all of the other women respond to him and treat him and it's clear that's what's in his head.
I don't know about this particular scenario, but sometimes people who know they are hot do get mad when everyone isn't drooling over them. They're used to it and someone who doesn't fall in line can be seen as threatening.
I've experienced this with a teacher. He was rather young at the time-- 23 I believe. I was a sophomore in high school and the only girl in class who didn't drool over him. It was rather obvious how he was just sucking in all the attention. After a day I learned approaching him seriously as a teacher, with me as a student (and not a girl drooling over him) wasn't going to do me any favors. The girls who drooled over him received assistance with their work, and I was told to figure it out on my own. Thankfully he didn't stay long, but after he left it was like watching a curse lift from the kingdom, LOL.
I'm kind of experiencing the same thing with this guy. He is a Sr. staff person and at one point completely shut me out because of my unresponsiveness. The reason I started this thread is because I wanted help learning how to engage these types of characters. A few weeks ago he started slowly trying to make my life hell and now that I have been talking to him a little more, he's backed off. Weird.
Really? I can't relate to that. When I say someone is a hottie, it means I think they're hot. If I'm not attracted to someone, they're not a hottie to me.
Thanks again. It's so annoying when people judge you by their standards.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
