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I had some success in online dating, but I felt it was a lot of work.
For sure. In fact that's the biggest downside. I've always done online dating in spurts, because after awhile it starts to feel like a second full-time job just to halfway keep up with it. I do it for a few weeks, then get overwhelmed and ignore it for a few weeks or months. (Usually by then I'd connected with enough women to last for awhile, anyway.)
When you consider the sheer number of women you can connect with, though, it's still a lot less work than trying to meet that many in an offline setting, at least for me.
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Originally Posted by rationalmale18
After awhile, I just waited till a girl I thought was attractive messaged me.
I've done that approach, but I (as most guys, I imagine) would have to wait awhile. I'm not that patient. Most of the women who contacted me first were not that attractive to me. I assume this is because the more attractive women are too busy responding to all the guys who contact them to bother reaching out.
Actually, I think the two most attractive women who ever reached out to me first online were a few months apart on myspace, if that tells you how long ago that was (2005-ish). One was 19 and the other was 23. Both were very attractive. I was an average-looking 31 year old. If it hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't believe it. Sigh...I miss those days.
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Originally Posted by rationalmale18
But anyways, I'm pretty good looking, so that helped.
I bet it did! In that case, I bet you do well cold-approaching women at bars and the like, too. I don't. (I think I've had success four or five times EVER doing that, and that's spread out over 15-20 years...and actually at least half of those approached me rather than I approaching them.) If so, no wonder online was more work for you.
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Originally Posted by rationalmale18
I had a lot of success with a funny profile. I kinda flipped the script and said instead of saying what I'm looking for, I'll put down what I don't want. I then proceeded, tongue in cheek, to list what I didn't want in a girl. Lines like if your bra size is bigger than your IQ we aren't going to work, and if you flip on me for no reason after I brought you soup cause you weren't feeling well, I'll eat the soup myself, etc. I just made it clear I was writing with a smile. I got a lot of compliments on that profile, and some dates.
I would warn most people against putting anything negative on a dating profile, even if it's funny. Congrats on pulling it off, though!
I've heard that teachers are starting to see "text" style writing on tests now.
U know what I mean........
That style of writing was semi-justifiable back during the days of tedious "typing" on the numerical keypads of phones to send text messages. Now that most people's phones have QWERTY keyboards. predictive text, and autocorrect, I don't really understand why any1 still does it.
That style of writing was semi-justifiable back during the days of tedious "typing" on the numerical keypads of phones to send text messages. Now that most people's phones have QWERTY keyboards. predictive text, and autocorrect, I don't really understand why any1 still does it.
"Successful" is an arbitrary term. For some men it means "hook up." For others, it means to find a quality woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with, or at least a considerable part of their time.
If it's the later, the odds are against you. A lot of my female friends are disgusted with online dating and have thrown in the towel. Now they just hang around waiting for their memberships to expire so they'll have war stories to compare.
From my experience: the vast majority of men on these sites are not "good to go". They have no business being there. They're either right out of a relationship, don't really want a relationship, are separated/secretly married, or they have deal breakers so big, you can see why they don't meet anyone IRL.
The first thing you have to do is remember that these are not just "profiles"; they are people -- living, breathing women with feelings and hopes and dreams of finding a really nice guy. Each one of them is highly unique. This is someone's daughter, sister, or even mother, and they have people who love them dearly. I think that this is the No. 1 thing that people forget when they go online -- that they're not just looking at "people product."
You can tailor your profile all you want (the "lure" to allure), but unless it reflects the genuine essence of who you are, as well as your intent, success is, again, arbitrary, depending on your definition of it. Just be honest.
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Most of the women who contacted me first were not that attractive to me. I assume this is because the more attractive women are too busy responding to all the guys who contact them to bother reaching out.
