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Old 01-20-2014, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,600,716 times
Reputation: 3341

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Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
lol
Caught that, did ya?
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Old 01-20-2014, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,600,716 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Are you really nearnorth?
Yes, it's a conspiracy. Actually, everyone on this forum except you are all one person.
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Old 01-20-2014, 04:18 PM
 
Location: SF CA, USA
4,187 posts, read 5,159,562 times
Reputation: 4999
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
Yes, it's a conspiracy. Actually, everyone on this forum except you are all one person.
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Old 01-20-2014, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,391 posts, read 30,931,772 times
Reputation: 16643
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
Caught that, did ya?

well i thought it was funny haha
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Old 01-20-2014, 06:56 PM
 
Location: FL
1,400 posts, read 1,577,546 times
Reputation: 2016
I haven't done any OLD but if I did I would reel them in. I'd just keep it short and describe myself with a bunch of corny words like kind, gentle, trusting,warm,forgiving, etc. They'd think they've found a sucker to walk all over and the inbox would flood.
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Old 01-20-2014, 07:13 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,860,632 times
Reputation: 25362
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
Yes, it's a conspiracy. Actually, everyone on this forum except you are all one person.
I knew it.
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Old 01-20-2014, 07:27 PM
 
Location: In the middle.
543 posts, read 534,205 times
Reputation: 571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melissa78703 View Post
To the OP:

"Successful" is an arbitrary term. For some men it means "hook up." For others, it means to find a quality woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with, or at least a considerable part of their time.

If it's the later, the odds are against you. A lot of my female friends are disgusted with online dating and have thrown in the towel. Now they just hang around waiting for their memberships to expire so they'll have war stories to compare.

From my experience: the vast majority of men on these sites are not "good to go". They have no business being there. They're either right out of a relationship, don't really want a relationship, are separated/secretly married, or they have deal breakers so big, you can see why they don't meet anyone IRL.

The first thing you have to do is remember that these are not just "profiles"; they are people -- living, breathing women with feelings and hopes and dreams of finding a really nice guy. Each one of them is highly unique. This is someone's daughter, sister, or even mother, and they have people who love them dearly. I think that this is the No. 1 thing that people forget when they go online -- that they're not just looking at "people product."

You can tailor your profile all you want (the "lure" to allure), but unless it reflects the genuine essence of who you are, as well as your intent, success is, again, arbitrary, depending on your definition of it. Just be honest.
And the men on there are not. They are barbaric simpletons who are all alike that want nothing more than hookups.
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Old 01-20-2014, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,600,716 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
well i thought it was funny haha
Thanks. I was hoping someone would.
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Old 01-20-2014, 08:57 PM
 
250 posts, read 399,994 times
Reputation: 545
Great post, OLD newbies re-read this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
Yes, that was going to be my first suggestion to the OP, as well. If you're looking for educated, intelligent women, you want to be sure your profile and your messages are well-written. Failing to spell out words properly like that is going to turn off most.

Other advice:

Pictures can show you pursuing various activities, travel, etc. At least one should be a full body shot. You should be "dressed up" in at least one. You should be with friends (ideally a mixed-gender group) in one or two of them. No selfies unless there's a good reason for it, and even then no more than one or two. No more than one or two pics showing you drinking beers with your brosephs. No pics posing with your car. No shirtless pics. (Possible exception to the no shirtless pic rule: If you're under 25, looking for women under 25, look great without your shirt, and are looking to get laid.) Smile in at least a couple of your pics, unless you have horrible teeth.

You need to live someplace with a large number of single women in your demographic, or be willing to travel.

Have some interesting hobbies/pursuits that you are passionate about that might appeal to some women. Even if the interests themselves don't appeal, the passion will. Mention these interests in your profile and/or show them in your pics. Don't look like you're trying too hard, though. Mentioning or showing things is enough...no need to beat them over the head with it.

It helps immensely if you're passionate about your job and have career goals. Contrary to popular belief on this forum, you do NOT need to make a lot of money. It helps if you have a job that is interesting and requires some sort of education and/or expertise/skill, however.

Show a sense of humor. Don't SAY you have a good sense of humor. Show it. Similarly, don't say you're intelligent. Show it.

Don't be too picky. This isn't a Hollywood movie, which means you aren't going to be handed a drop-dead gorgeous hottie just because you're a "nice guy." If you're having trouble getting dates, go out with any woman who shows an interest, unless you see huge red flags. You have nothing to lose other than a couple hours of time and a little bit of money (a first date doesn't have to be expensive), and everything to gain.

It helps if you sincerely enjoy the company of women. (That means not just women you're trying to bang.) The way I see it, I like to go out to eat, drink, see shows, go to festivals, coffee shops, lectures, comedy, etc., anyway. I like those things even more in the company of a woman, so I might as well ask one to go with me. Maybe we'll hit it off and maybe we won't. If we don't, it can still be a good evening.

Practice active listening skills. If you don't know what this means, look it up. If a woman feels heard and understood by you, you're halfway there. This is more important than looking like a male model or making a six figure salary. I'm not kidding.

I could probably keep going, but I'll leave it there for now. Oh, and contrary to what you said, OP, I don't think "the overwhelming majority of men get nowhere with online dating." I just think that group is overrepresented on this forum.
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