Waiting to have sex in a new relationship when you've previously not waited so long (marry, men)
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This is key. Knowing up front vs. finding out something 2 years down the road can completely change things. Ive gone out with more than a few women who portrayed themselves as something different than what thier realtionship history seemed to indicate. In my case it was never a deal breaker, but it's nice knowing up front.
Well, here's the thing... you either know it all up front or you never know. I think that's about the safest way to conduct one's self. It's not that not telling is being deceitful, it's just that sometimes people cannot really comprehend a person's activities well enough to be able to deal with what they used to do.
Case in point: I had a roommate in college whose dad molested her all the way through high school. She had to give him oral sex just to be allowed to go out on a date with her boyfriend. She was quite sexually promiscuous in high school, but I really think it was just because having sex of her own accord was something that she had control over and the stuff her dad did to her was something she could not control.
As she got older and entered college (and had been through therapy and the prosecution of her father for his crimes), she began to take her time in relationships... so, by some definitions here, I reckon she was just "once a ****, always a ****."
See how weird that sounds? And she didn't tell men about her past, because I doubt most college guys could have fully grasped how tough that was for her.
She did, however, keep quiet and didn't go telling people all sorts of stuff after she'd been dating them awhile because that would have also been a problem. In short, she left her past behind her, as best she could.
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Sex, relationships...any human interactions boiled to their roots are transactional in nature. You give something...you get something. That is why I am referring to "paying."
In my experience, there is no such thing as "mature" and "immature" relationships. They're all just relationships.
The rest I guess you're saying, "people change" and sure, I'm sure some do. But they don't change much, and not unless they really, really want to.
I'm sorry, I just don't give people the benefit of the doubt anymore. Other people are free to, but not me.
A sloot, even a "reformed" sloot, is a bad bet for an LTR/marriage/family. And again, just because she's had a "come to Jeebus" and decides to make some sucker wait, doesn't make her any less of a sloot, in my book.
Does this apply to men and women or do you just think of women this way? I mean, is a man who used to date around and have sex with various women, who then gets older and decides he wants to be more settled down also a "sloot" of some sort? Is he reformed?
Or did he just grow up and start treating relationships with more care?
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My question to you would be...How do you know what she is, not all of them have a stamp on their head?
That's a good point. I know some chicks who were WILD in college who are very settled now with husbands of many years and kids, a minivan... the works.
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Case in point: I had a roommate in college whose dad molested her all the way through high school. She had to give him oral sex just to be allowed to go out on a date with her boyfriend. She was quite sexually promiscuous in high school, but I really think it was just because having sex of her own accord was something that she had control over and the stuff her dad did to her was something she could not control.
Sexually promiscuous is evidence of molestation -- it is acting out behavior and very common among females who were molested when they were young.
I am with Meh here. People do change as they "mature." One's experience and behavior in one stage of life is not a guaranteed predictor of that same behavior at another stage.
Besides, as many have said, men typically would not know those kinds of details of a woman's past going into a relationship anyway.
Does this apply to men and women or do you just think of women this way? I mean, is a man who used to date around and have sex with various women, who then gets older and decides he wants to be more settled down also a "sloot" of some sort? Is he reformed?
Or did he just grow up and start treating relationships with more care?
I'm not generalizing or speaking for anyone else. Only myself, and I only dated women, so that's who my opinion applies to.
You don't have much experience then? There is a world of difference between sex at 19 versus sex at 39. That you think it's all the same speaks volumes.
Plenty of experience, good and bad. I can almost guarantee more experience than you.
That's a good point. I know some chicks who were WILD in college who are very settled now with husbands of many years and kids, a minivan... the works.
Their husbands will be sorry when the get Eat, Pray, Love'd...
If the sex is that important than the relationship will not last.
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There is a world of difference between sex at 19 versus sex at 39. That you think it's all the same speaks volumes.
