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I don't have much invested in him, almost 2 months. I really want a long term relationship and I really enjoy his company. However, I have been physically ill on and off for the past year. I suffer from an unrelated physical disability which he is aware of. I am frequently tired and don't have the energy to do much. We haven't been sexually active yet. I just can't see myself doing it because I feel so drained. I go to the gym whenever I can other than that, I don't feel like doing much. He understands and doesn't mind cuddling when I'm sick, but I want to go out on fun dates and not be home watching tv. I really want to continue to see how things go, but part of me doesn't want to hold him back. What should I do?
I don't have much invested in him, almost 2 months. I really want a long term relationship and I really enjoy his company. However, I have been physically ill on and off for the past year. I suffer from an unrelated physical disability which he is aware of. I am frequently tired and don't have the energy to do much. We haven't been sexually active yet. I just can't see myself doing it because I feel so drained. I go to the gym whenever I can other than that, I don't feel like doing much. He understands and doesn't mind cuddling when I'm sick, but I want to go out on fun dates and not be home watching tv. I really want to continue to see how things go, but part of me doesn't want to hold him back. What should I do?
Tell him what you've told us, and let him decide if he'll feel "held back" or not.
I had been dating my now-fiance for only a couple of months when I was diagnosed with a tumor in my breast. I told him in the hospital parking lot the day I was told I'd have to have surgery to have it removed in order to know if it was malignant or benign that I didn't expect him to feel obligated to stick around with a sick person he had only been dating for a short time. I didn't want him to feel like he had to be the hand-holder through treatments, surgeries, etc., if it was worst case scenario, since we were in the early stages of dating. I liked him tons, but we hadn't been together that long when sh*t got real, really fast, and I felt it best to be realistic.
He told me in no uncertain terms that he didn't feel like he was "signing on" for anything he couldn't handle, and that he'd rather be by my side than without me. He was there for my surgery, was there for my recovery, was there for the thankfully benign diagnosis, we've stayed together, and we'll be getting married this Saturday.
Give the man the information, good, bad, and ugly. Then let him determine for himself what he wants and thinks is best.
It's just hard for me to be around him in this state. He even mentioned on a few occasions that I don't seem like my normal self. That really bothers me because I'm normally smiling and happy.
I know the feeling. I went from happy-go-lucky and giddy in a new relationship to, "I have a tumor in my boob. What if I die/die alone? What if treating it bankrupts me? My whole family is 500 miles away, minimum." I was terrified, and was assuredly not myself.
I don't have much invested in him, almost 2 months. I really want a long term relationship and I really enjoy his company. However, I have been physically ill on and off for the past year. I suffer from an unrelated physical disability which he is aware of. I am frequently tired and don't have the energy to do much. We haven't been sexually active yet. I just can't see myself doing it because I feel so drained. I go to the gym whenever I can other than that, I don't feel like doing much. He understands and doesn't mind cuddling when I'm sick, but I want to go out on fun dates and not be home watching tv. I really want to continue to see how things go, but part of me doesn't want to hold him back. What should I do?
Explain it to him exactly the way you posted here. It's not hurting him, you are calm and rational and are willing to see both sides of it. I say discuss it with him,
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