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Of course the idea of you actually saying something to a man you fancy, which is generally much much much easier as guys are nowhere near as defensive or guarded when it comes to being approached, is out of the question right?
She probably gets approached by a lot of men, but they're not who she wants. So she claims nobody approaches her.
Some of the qualities you want don't go together. "old-school values" + open-minded, assertive" don't really go together. Nor do "midwestern charm" and "assertive", usually. "Quirky" and "sensible" don't really go together.
Good point. People seem to want all the good stuff & none of the flipside. Even though people are multi-faceted, few possess totally contradicting traits for their general characters. It's like saying "I want an honest liar!".
This may be part of your problem. You believe all the negative messages, but not the positive ones. Plenty of women go to the grocery store, coffee shop, political rally, evening class, city parks trail maintenance volunteer group, etc. hoping to meet someone interesting. Watch the talk shows on TV where women say they always put on makeup before going to the store, "just in case".
You're your own worst enemy, OP. You'll swallow any excuse to not have to approach women, and then come crying here, asking us to help you figure out where to meet women.
We hear and read so much conflicting information, like that thread a while ago mentioning how cold approaches for the most part are not appropriate, that it's hard to cold approach with any confidence, and then what follows is often a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We hear and read so much conflicting information, like that thread a while ago mentioning how cold approaches for the most part are not appropriate, that it's hard to cold approach with any confidence, and then what follows is often a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well, you have to think about where and who your advice is coming from when you read information online..
People who want to be negative and hold themselves back will always be able to do that.
We hear and read so much conflicting information, like that thread a while ago mentioning how cold approaches for the most part are not appropriate, that it's hard to cold approach with any confidence, and then what follows is often a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes, I remember that thread. After that thread, I modified my statements to say "some women don't want to be approached, but many others do." So you just have to take your chances, and not get bent out of shape if you hit a few of the "don't want to be approached" or already-taken types.
And again, if people could be just naturally friendly and neighborly routinely (as people pretty much are where I'm from in CA, for ex.), then it wouldn't even be a matter of a big intimidating approach. Things would come naturally and evolve naturally. If you're casually chatting to pass the time with someone, and the woman responds with some interest/enthusiasm, you build from there. If she doesn't, and just responds politely/briefly, you move on, no big deal.
Hear, hear! If more guys would just make it routine to chat with women who cross their path, people wouldn't have to struggle so much.
This works for attractive guys, but those who are either not attractive/awkward, it is extremely difficult to get in the habit of doing, and eventually could give that person a not so good reputation.
This works for attractive guys, but those who are either not attractive/awkward, it is extremely difficult to get in the habit of doing, and eventually could give that person a not so good reputation.
It works for guys who are at ease talking to women. The guy isn't going to get a reputation unless he lives in a very small town. See, there are some self-limiting beliefs playing out here. No one is going to talk to all their girlfriends and put out an all-points bulletin about some random guy in the store who exchanged pleasantries with her in the check-out line, or who had a fun chat about his favorite pastries in the bakery section. It's too trivial to even discuss, unless maybe they hit it off (which does happen), and she's excited about having met someone who might be a good prospect. Then she might mention it to her friends.
eh..I always see the best men worshipping the meanest women..then those men who were great men become a-holes. fun!
good for you on your career! smart way to buy a house..cash.
= hottest, maybe if so many women didn't use the 'hot' factor to correlate to 'best' men, you wouldn't see this issue.
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