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This, this, this. If you can't get anyone to reply to you, then there is something wrong with your profile or what you are writing when you message people. It's easier to be bitter and blame OLD as being terrible and full of flakes and people that have too high of standards than to look a good look at what you are doing wrong.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by variant
Are you a guy?
I'm a guy and she was responding to my post. She is absolutely correct. I'll take it a bit further, if you aren't getting emails from women (not near as many as a woman would get, of course) then there is something wrong with your profile, or perhaps just you.
I'm a guy and she was responding to my post. She is absolutely correct. I'll take it a bit further, if you aren't getting emails from women (not near as many as a woman would get, of course) then there is something wrong with your profile, or perhaps just you.
Well, that's my situation, for sure. How would I go on narrowing down what's wrong with my profile?
Yes, I generally only message women who are a good fit via the close matches or whose profiles make it seem they would be a good fit. I have not once received a response from them. Yesterday I got frustrated because a woman I messaged (and stated that she'd try to respond to any questions people had) viewed my profile but ignored my questions. I know you can't attract everyone, but the fact I can't get a response despite well-written, well thought out messages and questions really makes me question that there are any women who go after personality, at least online.
She said she'd try to respond so I'm not understanding the frustration as it's not like she promised something she didn't deliver. Also just because gals aren't going after your personality doesn't mean that there aren't gals who go after personality thinking otherwise could lead to a victim or martyr mentality that may keep you found acknowledging and resolving the flaws that prevent gals you want from reciprocating.
No, I am not a guy, but I stand by my position. If no one ever replies to you, then there is something off putting about your profile. Ask some of your female friends to look at it and give you feedback.
No, I am not a guy, but I stand by my position. If no one ever replies to you, then there is something off putting about your profile. Ask some of your female friends to look at it and give you feedback.
I don't have any female friends. I've had an ex (from a relationship that ended with an amicable breakup) look at it in the past and she said it looked great. I'm an interesting, articulate guy I'd like to think. I just doesn't seem to come across for some reason. There's a bit of humor, an overview of my career and hobbies/passions, my outlook, things I enjoy doing (from cooking, to travel, to seeing shows, etc), and what I'm looking for in a partner. Like someone said above, almost no one wants to message or reply, and those who do have no interest in making much more than two word answers in conversations that go nowhere. I take that as the status quo with online dating.
I don't have many. Mainly the ones that are my buddies girlfriends. I was questioned about it a year or so ago by a now defunct FWB. She wondered if I didn't have many female friends, because I didn't respect them. It wasn't that I didn't respect them, at the time I just didn't need them. I felt we used each other for sexual pleasure and the occasional hangout here and there. The few times I've had a go to really good female friend, the moment they got boyfriends I never heard from them again. At that point, I ended up getting more and more comfortable just having guy friends and then FWB female friends. It may just be my area, but when I had female friends, I was sleeping with a few of them. I never had that female friend that I could call up for a movie and it was just platonic in years.
I guess I got tired of doing the whole this is a fun friendship till they get a boyfriend. That gets old after a while. Now, I hear from my buddies girlfriends/wives and that makes me happy enough.
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