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Your issue is not the one rejection, but the sum of those rejections. People are always quick to say move on to the next one. I'm guilty of saying that same line as well. Fact is, sometimes you run out of steam to move on. The mundane and continuous first date questions end up being a lot of wash, rinse, and repeat. You want to get to the point where you can get past a first date, within a timely manner, and on to a second, third, and fourth date.
For me, in the last year, I've only had one person that moved past a second date. She was someone who was fun to spend time with, but we were just at different ends of the life spectrum. I've had plenty of first dates, that went well, but for one reason or another they just never tended to lead to a second date. The sum of all those first dates not going anywhere really do start to discourage you. You really do get tired of the dating process and you want to meet that special someone that's wanting to invest some time in you. Not just write you off, because they don't have the time to get to know you.
Thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way, its just so frustrating!
I totally get what you're saying, but it's not really this one date that I'm so concerned about as much as dating in general. I mean I can take rejection, if he's not interested, he's not interested (although I'd be shocked, but nonetheless wouldn't be the first time). I feel like I'm doing something wrong, I mean I'm really not picky, I've dated men all shapes and sizes, as long as I feel like they're good guys and we have somewhat of a connection, I'm cool with seeing them again. I also don't chase men, I believe if a man is interested he will contact you (I know lots of people disagree with this, and I respect that but this is my belief). So as desperate as my post may look, I assure I don't come across as desperate to guys lol.
Well, you seem to have your head on straight and some great insight into things
I'd say you are just allowing yourself to feel a little to panicked over being in your 30's and not involved in a relationship.
I know it's really hard, but try to relax and accept that when the time is right, the right guy will show up. Get busy doing other things so that this is not a focal point of your life okay?
relax. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. Maybe you should try texting him for once. Sometimes a guy is waiting for a woman to text him to see if she is interested. Sounds weird, feels weird to do, but it does happen once in a while.
If that doesn't work to any avail, try getting off online dating and going out and socializing. Maybe there's an individual out there somewhere, that shares the same/similar interests that you do. Online dating doesn't work as throughly as a person-to-person appeal. Although, society now-a-days makes us feel it is the same, it just doesn't express the same as the in person.
If he doesn't respond or doesn't shed the same interest as before, the best thing to do is to leave it as is.
Hope i've helped in some manner, if not, i'll try giving it another perspective.
It's funny you should say that, the last guy I dated (I was set up by friends a little less than a year ago), I actually texted him after our first date, but that was only because he had told my friends that he was interested in me, but had gotten the impression that I was not interested in him. Anyway it ended up working in my favor, since after that first text I sent, he took it from there.
Well, you seem to have your head on straight and some great insight into things
I'd say you are just allowing yourself to feel a little to panicked over being in your 30's and not involved in a relationship.
I know it's really hard, but try to relax and accept that when the time is right, the right guy will show up. Get busy doing other things so that this is not a focal point of your life okay?
Thanks
I do try to keep myself occupied, but it does get really hard sometimes, when everyone in your social circle is constantly talking about their significant other.
It's funny you should say that, the last guy I dated (I was set up by friends a little less than a year ago), I actually texted him after our first date, but that was only because he had told my friends that he was interested in me, but had gotten the impression that I was not interested in him. Anyway it ended up working in my favor, since after that first text I sent, he took it from there.
See!!!! Some men aren't sure if the women are interested! We don't pick up on cues that may seem obvious to women. Give it another shot and text this guy and hopefully the results will be in your favor!
I know I for one as a guy have issues with picking up cues. I sometimes need the individual to spell it out for me because the cues go right over my head. Then again, I thank the individual for going on the date with me, leave it to them for several days to text me while i occupy myself in my personal life (work/university/gym(or sports training)/family/etc.) and if i get a text from them shedding some interest, i fit them into my schedule.
I do try to keep myself occupied, but it does get really hard sometimes, when everyone in your social circle is constantly talking about their significant other.
I know it can be hard, but you have to resist feeling sorry for yourself over this okay?
EVERY PERSON has their own path to walk.
And no person walks a completely carefree and blissful path.
It may look like all the couples you know are sometimes enjoying life more than you, but that is simply not true.
Don't psych yourself out by believing that.
Just work on finding the inner peace that will allow you to enjoy your life no matter what the circumstances in any given moment.
If you do this, I can promise you that you will become extremely attractive to everyone you meet. And one of those you meet will be the man you want
See!!!! Some men aren't sure if the women are interested! We don't pick up on cues that may seem obvious to women. Give it another shot and text this guy and hopefully the results will be in your favor!
I know I for one as a guy have issues with picking up cues. I sometimes need the individual to spell it out for me because the cues go right over my head. Then again, I thank the individual for going on the date with me, leave it to them for several days to text me while i occupy myself in my personal life (work/university/gym(or sports training)/family/etc.) and if i get a text from them shedding some interest, i fit them into my schedule.
The only difference was, with the other guy I admittedly did not act super interested on our first date, because I had had a rough day and was very tired, so I wasn't my best self that evening. However this time I felt like I actually did act interested, but then again you might be right some guy might have trouble picking up cues.
The only difference was, with the other guy I admittedly did not act super interested on our first date, because I had had a rough day and was very tired, so I wasn't my best self that evening. However this time I felt like I actually did act interested, but then again you might be right some guy might have trouble picking up cues.
the average joe has issues with picking up cues. Those who are good/experts on reading social cues can gauge the impact of their presence and change the mood/interest of the other individual.
It never hurts to try. Look at it this way, 'you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.'
Yes I know you're right, it's easier said than done though :/
Well, if it were easy everyone would do it and there would be no need for this forum, lol.
Dig deep honey, you can do it.
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