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Flowers to date one? Seriously? Well, if some guys do these things (seriously?) they might need help, but treating a woman like a person never failed me. They're not goddesses or infallible, they're people.
Perhaps these are people that don't have female friends so they see women as a distinct species and can't talk to them. I don't know. It all seems fairly simple.
It is, for those of us that are successful with women. But look around the internet. There are millions of men that have NO idea what they are doing.
The hottest woman the OP ever went out with is a 40 YEAR OLD WOMAN. HE IS 25. That should tell you something about this guys success rate with woemn.
Hell, even in my extended social circle, there are one or two that really struggle at even getting a date.
Flowers to date one? Seriously? Well, if some guys do these things (seriously?) they might need help, but treating a woman like a person never failed me. They're not goddesses or infallible, they're people.
Perhaps these are people that don't have female friends so they see women as a distinct species and can't talk to them. I don't know. It all seems fairly simple.[/quote]
It is, for those of us that are successful with women. But look around the internet. There are millions of men that have NO idea what they are doing.
The hottest woman the OP ever went out with is a 40 YEAR OLD WOMAN. HE IS 25. That should tell you something about this guys success rate with woemn.
Hell, even in my extended social circle, there are a one or two that really struggle at even getting a date.
I don't dispute I don't have much dating experience, but you seem to be implying that a 40 year old can't be hot.
Well said. There is a big difference between being a gentleman who treats ladies with dignity and respect and someone who falls all over himself in a desperate attempt to please her. I think some guys mistake the latter for the former. Others think it takes manipulation or game and if you do it right a woman who is not interested can be swayed. I suppose maybe it's true. I never stuck around long enough to find out, though. I have way too much self respect to pursue a woman who has indicated she is not interested in me.
No one is advocating trying to "sway" a lost cause. The point is to reduce the number of instances that you are even out with a lost cause.
I don't dispute I don't have much dating experience, but you seem to be implying that a 40 year old can't be hot.
Not at all. 40 year olds can be really hot, just not very common.
But what I am saying is if a 40 year old is the hottest you've ever even been out with, I'm just wondering the level of twenty something you've been out with.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
It is, for those of us that are successful with women. But look around the internet. There are millions of men that have NO idea what they are doing.
The hottest woman the OP ever went out with is a 40 YEAR OLD WOMAN. HE IS 25. That should tell you something about this guys success rate with woemn.
Hell, even in my extended social circle, there are a one or two that really struggle at even getting a date.
Well, you might have something. Plenty of hot 40 yo out there though. I thought so too when I was in my 20s, and generally now date 5-8 years older.
The obsessiveness and lack of confidence are the most telling parts to me in this situation. It's not cool or attractive. There is no reason to have emotional investment in someone after a first date.
What type of "behaviors? If they're who he is as a person, I would hope that he wouldn't change his core personality just to try to get a date (as that will fail in time), but what are you thinking of?
I think he's saying if he's not mysterious enough. That's something that can be achieved and changed. If he's too available. That can be changed as well. He couldn't make himself a FWB person if that's not his core. Some things can be altered to squeak out a couple of more options, but you can't try and be perfect for every person you meet. You can have 90-95% of yourself as your core, and the remaining percentage being something that you alter here and there for who you're talking too.
No one is advocating trying to "sway" a lost cause. The point is to reduce the number of instances that you are even out with a lost cause.
That may be true, but in dating, often determining if one is a lost cause or not doesnt happen until that first date. Sure, you can weed through some prospects and rule some people out before meeting ( assuming you're using an online dating site). But a lot of time the values and mutual interest are there but the chemistry just isn't. Lost cause, and how would you know without going out and learning first hand?
Well, you might have something. Plenty of hot 40 yo out there though. I thought so too when I was in my 20s, and generally now date 5-8 years older.
The obsessiveness and lack of confidence are the most telling parts to me in this situation. It's not cool or attractive. There is no reason to have emotional investment in someone after a first date.
My point is that had he approached the date differently, acted a little differntly, maybe he wouldn't be posting about it on CD. The "match" could have been there, it wasn't up to fate, it was up to him.
We are all pointing out flaws with this dude. Right, he shouldn't care about her after this date. It's over. But these flaws we are pointing out, if changed, will likely make him more successful next time.
Unless she just sucks and uses guys for dinner and attention, which could have been the case too.
That may be true, but in dating, often determining if one is a lost cause or not doesnt happen until that first date. Sure, you can weed through some prospects and rule some people out before meeting ( assuming you're using an online dating site). But a lot of time the values and mutual interest are there but the chemistry just isn't. Lost cause, and how would you know without going out and learning first hand?
I agree, you gotta go in. But what I meant was changing dweeb and chump behavior so that the number of lost causes you create for yourself is drastically reduced. I didn't mean just not going out with people you think you'll fail with. That's a faulty mindset.
My point is that had he approached the date differently, acted a little differntly, maybe he wouldn't be posting about it on CD. The "match" could have been there, it wasn't up to fate, it was up to him.
We are all pointing out flaws with this dude. Right, he shouldn't care about her after this date. It's over. But these flaws we are pointing out, if changed, will likely make him more successful next time.
Unless she just sucks and uses guys for dinner and attention, which could have been the case too.
I think its a bit of both. I shouldn't have acquiesced to every one of her demands/opinions, and I she shouldn't have been such a brat.
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