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How am I stringing her along if I have stated clearly that at this point I am not sure about marrying her? You women lashing out at me need to pay closer attention to what I have posted!!
So is it better to make a rushed decision into marriage and then divorce in 5-10 years? Then how many years are wasted?
How am I stringing her along if I have stated clearly that at this point I am not sure about marrying her? You women lashing out at me need to pay closer attention to what I have posted!!
So is it better to make a rushed decision into marriage and then divorce in 5-10 years? Then how many years are wasted?
Just because you've told her that you're not sure about marrying her doesn't mean you're NOT stringing her along. Maybe you haven't broken up with her because maybe you don't want to be alone and she seems willing to stick around thinking one day you'll decide?
How much time do you need to figure out if you want to marry her or not? You've been with her for 2 years and as you said, 6-7 months of those 2 years have "rifts".
You're 39, not 19. I think you just don't want to get married at all, and that's fine. And if that's the case then just tell her it has nothing to do with HER.
I just peeked at your posting history...I thought you looked familiar.
It seems to me that you are really trying to convince yourself that she is not the right one for you so that you feel justified in leaving. The fact that she doesn't want to move, your mother doesn't like her...etc. You also expressed guilt over leaving her because she told you she couldn't imagine life without you.
Look, you are not doing yourself any favors here. It is plainly obvious that marriage is not what you want with this girl, meanwhile she's considering marriage and family with you.
I think you know what YOU want. It's not selfish and while it might suck and you may feel guilty about breaking it off, I think you will really start to resent her if things continue and nothing is addressed between the two of you. Not every relationship is going to work. It's easy to stay, harder to leave, especially knowing you might break her heart. However, the longer this continues, the harder it's going to be on both of you.
If your gf is looking for marriage, I think she is a fool to stay in a relationship this long, with a man your age, who still has no idea whether or when, if ever, he wants to get married. However, she is the one who should have made the decision to break up for that reason. If you want to break up, do it for your own reasons -- not to "set her free" so that she can find someone else. She is old enough to make her own decisions about whether she wants to be free of you or not.
You know what... there are people who have even backed out of engagements. So the insinuation here is that all these people were stringing their partners along? What about those that stay in marriages for years in an unhappy state?
Sometimes things happen along the way to cause you to change your mind. And just because there are rifts in the relationship does not mean you have to end it without trying to resolve the rifts.
And just because one is not ready to marry their partner does not mean they do not want to be in the relationship or that they care about their partner any less.
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