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I think if she was a smoker when the relationship started, it's sort of unfair to expect her to quit. On a similar note, if she picked up the habit after you were together then voicing your disapproval is fair game.
Also, if you were a smoker as well and recently quit (first off, congratulations on that) think about the challenges you went through to quit. Maybe it was easy for you, but it is important to remember how big of a challenge it can be for someone to quit. I can't relate because I've never been a smoker. You are in a good position because you can relate to your girlfriend and what she's going through.
Most likely if she agrees to quit, it'll be something that'll have to happen on her timing and not yours. Patience and compassion will carry you a long way. Give support but don't nag. That's a tricky balance and I can't say I envy you.
I knew she was a smoker. Thing is, she never really smoked around me, or kept it to a minimum.
Now that we spend a lot more time together its settling in, the smoking is coming out.
Since Ive quit, most of my friends smoke too by the way... Theres been a progression in hatred for cigarettes. The more I see them, the more I hate them, the more I get disgusted in them. Multiple cigs in a smokey room is SO unbelievably disgusting I cant even believe I put myself through that. They just make you look like an idiot.
How about the use of chewing tobacco I only use it when I need to get homework done or before a big test it relaxes me. I am cuting back on it but still use it from time to time.
Quite the dilemma! But alluding to, or even preaching, about the dangers of smoking may not cut it. You never know, she may have a close relative who smoked all his/her life with little or no ill effects from smoking, and she may think she has the same genes to prevent it. My nephew keeps pointing out to my father who smoked for 50 years, died at 96, with miraculously no ill effects, and he seems to think he has the same steel-coated genes in his system. I'm under that influence as well. So I'm cursed with not being able to point out a relative who died from lung cancer, including my grandfather.
Sigmund Freud, compassionately, referred to smokers as victims, which is a far better description of them.
The chances of getting involved with a smoker is now down to 18%, compared to the 50's when the smoking rate was around 57%.
If I were you I'd keep pressing for the usage of e-cigarettes/vapor. That seems to be the best solution at this point. And with love, as strong love can conquer all.
It may be extremely difficult for her to quit smoking -- even more than the average person. Its common for recovering addicts to substitute smoking for their past drug of choice. Some sort of substitute is almost always necessary.
I agree with tijlover: encourage vaping. And I mean actual vaping: not ecigs which apparently do not work nearly as well. Perhaps if you offer to buy her an inexpensive personal vaporizer like a Joyetech and some e-liquid she will be willing to try it.
My brother who was a hardcore smoker is now "vaper" instead, and now hates cigarette smoke with a passion. He has gradually cut nicotine levels in his vaping down to 0% because apparently the e-liquids come in varying strengths. When I'm around him and he's vaping his vapor usually smells good (if I can smell it at all, usually I can't) because
1- it isn't actually burning and making tar and all the hundreds or more gross chemicals in cigs and
2- he mostly vapes fruit or candy flavors. (Even the tobacco ones don't stink to me though.)
He has lost the smoker's cough and tells me that he's regaining his sense of taste. He says he's much happier now, and doesn't feel like he gave something up- he says he "traded up" for vaping! Just a suggestion because it really worked great for him and he told me he never could have quit with just the poorly-made little ecigs. As for me, I'm just happy and proud that my bro is now healthier and happier!
How about the use of chewing tobacco I only use it when I need to get homework done or before a big test it relaxes me. I am cuting back on it but still use it from time to time.
lol
Now, I'm a smoker, but the last thing I want to see my lady doing is putting a wad of chew in her cheek, and keeping a spitoon near by. lol
The E-cig vaporizer is something that I have used and sometimes will use it to this day. She picked one up but cant seem to adapt to it because the Menthol flavor just tastes like Peppermint instead.
Im very familiar with the vaporizers and all the accessories/options.
When I put the cigs down, I actually went out and bought a pack of Red Man chewing tobacco to help with my cravings. After most of the pack was gone, a good friend of mine saw how well I was doing and decided to buy the vapor cig. She nearly stopped smoking completely until the battery went dead and she couldnt find the charger.
So the vapor cigs will do the job. She just doesnt like the flavor of her current liquid. Maybe Ill go into the E cig shop and see what they recommend for a true menthol flavor.
Also, it seems to be extremely hard for some people to get over the whole "cool" image of being a smoker. Because cigs are the perfect tool to start a conversation at a bar, its ridiculous.
I would never date a smoker. Its one of my deal breakers.
Same here. Just couldn't do it.
Besides, I have asthma and whenever I'm exposed to a large plume of smoke, it's as if I can no longer breathe. Then the wheezing begins...
No thank you!
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