U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-29-2014, 08:42 PM
 
79 posts, read 112,534 times
Reputation: 66

Advertisements

How would you approach weight gain by your partner. Say your partner was borderline overweight when you met them and now is quite overweight... they are in denial when you drop hints and say they are going to the gym etc. but continue to snack and eat bad, not making any progress on the weight. They also get stressed easily and resort to food to de-stress.

If this adversely affected your attraction to your partner would you have a frank conversation about it? If so how would that conversation go and how direct would you be? What if they blame their weight gain on you... saying that you should've been more encouraging to them to lose weight?

Or is it something that you either accept or break up? Would you break up with your partner (if you were not already married) if your attraction dropped due to their weight gain or would you continue regardless... knowing that in the future they could become even heavier?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-29-2014, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,990 posts, read 49,537,922 times
Reputation: 98359
I would say the same thing I said in this thread:

Trying to help my GF to lose weight.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2014, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
38,932 posts, read 24,555,883 times
Reputation: 55463
You can't really say anything they don't already know.

With my late husband I always tried a more positive approach, asked him to go to the gym with me, asked him to be my racquetball partner, etc. I always cooked healthy (he would eat the lunch I made him AND go to the local plate lunch place), kept no junk food in the house etc.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2014, 08:51 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
10,467 posts, read 21,527,844 times
Reputation: 14405
Is fat a deal breaker? If so, you need to let her know it is.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2014, 08:52 PM
 
501 posts, read 923,840 times
Reputation: 533
If you lose interest in your partner simply because they gain a little weight, time to move on. We won't all be fit and in our 20's forever.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2014, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,990 posts, read 49,537,922 times
Reputation: 98359
Is this one of the things that's stopping you from wanting to marry her?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2014, 09:21 AM
 
33,031 posts, read 24,076,196 times
Reputation: 8993
I'm an emotional eater, so my inclination is to view a partner's weight gain as a sign of discontent in some area of their life, which I see as a cue to step up your emotional support - not the time to be critical.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2014, 09:26 AM
 
35,104 posts, read 44,356,231 times
Reputation: 62297
Quote:
Originally Posted by speeddev1l View Post
How would you approach weight gain by your partner. Say your partner was borderline overweight when you met them and now is quite overweight... they are in denial when you drop hints and say they are going to the gym etc. but continue to snack and eat bad, not making any progress on the weight. They also get stressed easily and resort to food to de-stress.

If this adversely affected your attraction to your partner would you have a frank conversation about it? If so how would that conversation go and how direct would you be? What if they blame their weight gain on you... saying that you should've been more encouraging to them to lose weight?

Or is it something that you either accept or break up? Would you break up with your partner (if you were not already married) if your attraction dropped due to their weight gain or would you continue regardless... knowing that in the future they could become even heavier?

If the weight gain is the only reason you are now not attracted to your partner you need to walk away.
It is obvious that you were never happy with her in the first place but you "settled" because she was the best choice at the time.

Move on and let her find someone who loves her for her and not what her physical body is like.
You cannot change someone who does not want to change and you cannot force someone to lose weight who does not want to lose weight.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2014, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Terra
2,826 posts, read 3,483,839 times
Reputation: 3346
Quote:
Originally Posted by jameshardin View Post
If you lose interest in your partner simply because they gain a little weight, time to move on. We won't all be fit and in our 20's forever.
OP said they got "quite overweight" ... not gained a "little weight."
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2014, 09:35 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
18,035 posts, read 15,165,151 times
Reputation: 36196
This thread is going to be interesting.

I get some popcorn.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top