My boyfriend and I took a break and I did something dumb (marry, guy)
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This may relate to both genders, but from a mans point of view, if your woman requests a break, you should absolutely refuse it. Here is the reason for that. If a woman requests taking a break, it means she is willing to lose you. If she is willing to lose you, it means that regardless of plan As existence, you are now her plan B guy, no matter what. A woman who respects her man and looks up to him, would never act this way and would never chance losing him. And if she doesn't respect you as a man, then you are simply wasting your time. Be smart guys, know what youre dealing with. Everyone needs their alone time and an opportunity to sort out their thoughts, feelings, emotions etc etc. But when you are in a relationship and an issue comes up, you should turn to your SO in order to solve it, not away from them. In 99% of the cases, when a woman asks for a break, what she is really saying is that she wants to see her options and give herself ability to justify her immoral behavior if an opportunity presents itself. In most cases, they have dudes lined up before they even request a break. That is reality.
This may relate to both genders, but from a mans point of view, if your woman requests a break, you should absolutely refuse it. Here is the reason for that. If a woman requests taking a break, it means she is willing to lose you. If she is willing to lose you, it means that regardless of plan As existence, you are now her plan B guy, no matter what. A woman who respects her man and looks up to him, would never act this way and would never chance losing him. And if she doesn't respect you as a man, then you are simply wasting your time. Be smart guys, know what youre dealing with. Everyone needs their alone time and an opportunity to sort out their thoughts, feelings, emotions etc etc. But when you are in a relationship and an issue comes up, you should turn to your SO in order to solve it, not away from them. In 99% of the cases, when a woman asks for a break, what she is really saying is that she wants to see her options and give herself ability to justify her immoral behavior if an opportunity presents itself. In most cases, they have dudes lined up before they even request a break. That is reality.
Please explain how any of that differs from when a man request a "break."
Right, I usually have a lot of respect for Ascension, but the misogyny is really showing its teeth today. Goes both ways and the women are just as down on the OP's behavior as the men are.
I just thought of a fictional ending for the story. OP does not tell her bf and they get married and on their wedding night as they're getting ready to head out, one of the bridesmaids pulls the groom off to the side. . . why would he not believe her after all?
What I find revealing in this is the above bolded. While the first sleepover was regrettable, the fact is that you kept going back for more. Your bf deserves better.
That's a good point.
She slept with the other guy, but the other guy didn't want a relationship...so OP did the obvious next best thing which is to go back to the old boyfriend.
I mean, this is equivalent to someone quitting their job to get a better higher paying job but that job didn't pan out.
So what do you do? You try to get back to your old job. IF you are sneaky enough, you frame it like you needed a "break" such as a month long vacation or something and hope you still get your old position.
Yea, I pretty much agreed with everyone except one particular poster. Regardless, I think we can safely say that both men and women do this kind of nonsense. It's hurtful and dishonest in many ways. I personally wouldn't allow someone like the OP back in my life. My only hope is that we can stop with the "all women" or "all men" generalizations.
Guys, I'm a woman and I agree with you here on this thread. Let's try to just blast the OP and not make sweeping statements about everyone. Although I would also like to say that (I think it was Ascension's post) that said if (the woman in this case) asks for a break, that SHOULD send up a huge flag. If a guy asked/told me that, I'd be really worried about all the different ways that could go wrong and would just break it off completely.
To all, have self respect and respect for the one you date. Hopefully, you can determine if it's reciprocated and go from there. That's all I know...hehe
There is no misogyny in my posts, truth cannot be misogyny/misandry - because its just that - the truth. As I stated, it may relate to both genders but I can only speak as a man and from a mans viewpoint. There are many differences when it comes to gender dynamics, and leadership, respect and some of the other concepts that are relevant to this conversation aren't equal or the same at all. I understand that its PC to believe that we are all equal, the same and "men do it too" type of thinking is widely accepted. Its just my perspective, and it isn't meant to override anyone elses.
There is no misogyny in my posts, truth cannot be misogyny/misandry - because its just that - the truth. As I stated, it may relate to both genders but I can only speak as a man and from a mans viewpoint. There are many differences when it comes to gender dynamics, and leadership, respect and some of the other concepts that are relevant to this conversation aren't equal or the same at all. I understand that its PC to believe that we are all equal, the same and "men do it too" type of thinking is widely accepted. Its just my perspective, and it isn't meant to override anyone elses.
And I really didn't take your posts as being bad at all...and yes, there are many differences between us. I also know that we can only speak to our experiences...I thought you made some really good points.
The more I read here though, the more I think I might be out of touch. My brother has gone through some stuff that I never thought he'd have to and I just scratch my head and ask "what's wrong with people?" He doesn't hate women...loves them in fact...but I could understand if he did after what his ex wife did to him and the kids.
I know you weren't overriding anyone's experience or opinion...I just have to come to terms that there are a LOT of crappy people out there...I guess my main point was (and I maybe should've stated a bit clearer) is that don't let that ruin your whole idea of the opposite sex. Sure, I know it can be difficult...and I'm not saying you in particular...but I'm a relic and just want everyone to get along.
She slept with the other guy, but the other guy didn't want a relationship...so OP did the obvious next best thing which is to go back to the old boyfriend.
I mean, this is equivalent to someone quitting their job to get a better higher paying job but that job didn't pan out.
So what do you do? You try to get back to your old job. IF you are sneaky enough, you frame it like you needed a "break" such as a month long vacation or something and hope you still get your old position.
One of the lessons to take from this thread, mod snip, is when someone wants to take a "break", you should discuss the terms of the break, with the most important point being whether or not they are actually single and can date others.
If you don't do this, you should assume that the relationship is over because this situation can happen, and you're either with holding information or lying to keep that person, and both are beatings on a relationship.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-31-2014 at 03:20 PM..
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