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Yep.
I get so sick of that comment. It's usually accompanied by, "One thing led to another...," "the next thing I knew..." and the famous, "...our clothes came off."
I get so sick of that comment. It's usually accompanied by, "One thing led to another...," "the next thing I knew..." and the famous, "...our clothes came off."
As if people have NO CONTROL over their actions.
Also, alcohol does not exempt you.
Yep, passive voice is intentionally designed to shirk responsibilities.
Yep, passive voice is intentionally designed to shirk responsibilities.
I think I would have been a bit more understanding if the OP had said, "I met a really hot guy and I had sex with him" because [reasons/excuses follow].
The reason why cheating in a relationship is "wrong" is because it's unethical. Ethics are about mainly treating people fairly and treating them how you would like to be treated. Not about "technically" meeting some arbitrary standard, by timing your actions(not by doing the right thing and then deceiving other people so they treat you fairly but you don't do the same. You haven't treated your boyfriend fairly and you should just admit to yourself that acted unethically and are just manipulating superficial sequences of events to convince yourself you acted ethically and treated your boyfriend fairly. You did not, are not and that's just the way it is.
In my opinion it's suited to keep quiet as you two weren't together when it happened so your sexual activities are none of his business outside of being STD/STI free. So get a STD/STI test and once you're in the clear keep your lips zipped on this matter.
I thought for a long time about this and I decided "not to tell" my boyfriend for a bunch or reasons.
First of all, like Momentus said, we actually were on a break and I was single during that time and a single woman (or man) is allowed to do as she wants. How do I know for sure the HE didn't go and have sex?
Second, contrary to what some people here said, I did not go on a break so I could go and sleep with some other guy. I wasn't looking fo it. It just happened that night - I was with some friends and the guy and I just started talking.
Third, I think that by telling my boyfriend, it would do more harm than good. He really is the one for me and I don't want to hurt him. So I think letting sleeping dogs lie is the best way to go.
Finally, the other guy really meant nothing. I got caught up in the moment and things happened that I regret. As a matter of fact, the other guy actually texted me yesterday to see if I wanted to get together. I answered no and told him not to text me again.
My boyfriend has not really been himself these past couple of days and asked all sorts of questions but I am focusing on making him feel good and have apologized over and over abou tnot believing him when this all started. And yes, I was stupid to believe my ex girlfriend's comments over my boyfriend's.
I thought for a long time about this and I decided "not to tell" my boyfriend for a bunch or reasons.
First of all, like Momentus said, we actually were on a break and I was single during that time and a single woman (or man) is allowed to do as she wants. How do I know for sure the HE didn't go and have sex?
Second, contrary to what some people here said, I did not go on a break so I could go and sleep with some other guy. I wasn't looking fo it. It just happened that night - I was with some friends and the guy and I just started talking.
Third, I think that by telling my boyfriend, it would do more harm than good. He really is the one for me and I don't want to hurt him. So I think letting sleeping dogs lie is the best way to go.
Finally, the other guy really meant nothing. I got caught up in the moment and things happened that I regret. As a matter of fact, the other guy actually texted me yesterday to see if I wanted to get together. I answered no and told him not to text me again.
My boyfriend has not really been himself these past couple of days and asked all sorts of questions but I am focusing on making him feel good and have apologized over and over abou tnot believing him when this all started. And yes, I was stupid to believe my ex girlfriend's comments over my boyfriend's.
You could have made it much shorter by simply typing............." I was justified "
I thought for a long time about this and I decided "not to tell" my boyfriend for a bunch or reasons.
First of all, like Momentus said, we actually were on a break and I was single during that time and a single woman (or man) is allowed to do as she wants. How do I know for sure the HE didn't go and have sex?
Second, contrary to what some people here said, I did not go on a break so I could go and sleep with some other guy. I wasn't looking fo it. It just happened that night - I was with some friends and the guy and I just started talking.
Third, I think that by telling my boyfriend, it would do more harm than good. He really is the one for me and I don't want to hurt him. So I think letting sleeping dogs lie is the best way to go.
Finally, the other guy really meant nothing. I got caught up in the moment and things happened that I regret. As a matter of fact, the other guy actually texted me yesterday to see if I wanted to get together. I answered no and told him not to text me again.
My boyfriend has not really been himself these past couple of days and asked all sorts of questions but I am focusing on making him feel good and have apologized over and over abou tnot believing him when this all started. And yes, I was stupid to believe my ex girlfriend's comments over my boyfriend's.
Don't try to make this about you trying to not hurt his feelings by telling the truth. The reason you don't want to tell him is because you don't want to lose him.
If you didn't want to hurt him you would have done some fact checking before "going on a break."
If you didn't want to hurt him you wouldn't have slept with some random guy, multiple times, days after "going on a break."
You not telling him is selfishness, pure and simple. Its all about you and probably always has been. It seems, to me, that you view him only as a possession and not as a partner. Hopefully, one day, this poor guy can extricate himself from this farce of a relationship and get together with someone who really does care for him.
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