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Old 02-04-2014, 08:56 AM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,664,456 times
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Taking it on face value, if I were man I would be angry. I have a hard time taking the stories at face value tho.

I don't see the point of secretly having an abortion if you are going to tell. If I felt I could not discuss abortion with my partner I would never tell him I had one. Nor do I understand anyone actually planning a pregnancy then aborting for no apparent reason.
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Old 02-04-2014, 08:57 AM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,289,027 times
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Sorry, but I've dont this before.

I get its his "seed", but its my body and since I have no intention of having kids or getting married, I think its pretty obvious thats the choice I would make when put in that situation
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Old 02-05-2014, 02:52 AM
 
Location: Somewhere below Mason/Dixon
9,454 posts, read 10,757,286 times
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Ill say right up front, I believe abortion is murder. Now as far as forgiving the wife on this one. No way, not only did she go behind his back, she killed their child. Divorce.
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Old 02-05-2014, 10:14 AM
 
Location: northwest Illinois
2,331 posts, read 3,205,479 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faxton9 View Post
I can think of any word to imagine how this guy in the story must now be feeling. The woman had an abortion behind his back. She acted as if nothing happened and informs him about it 3 days later what she did.

Moderator cut: competing forum

Same for this guy, whom his wife aborted the baby without informing him and he seems pissed off:
Wife aborted baby without my knowledge...I'm so angry, what should I do? - Yahoo Answers

This must really suck. If the man does wants the baby (I think it's because very little is mentioned about male attachment towards the baby), the woman is fully aware of this but still aborts the baby behind his back and comes home telling him the baby is dead because she had an abortion.
Personally, I think she did him a favor.
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Old 02-05-2014, 02:24 PM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,664,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Sorry, but I've dont this before.

I get its his "seed", but its my body and since I have no intention of having kids or getting married, I think its pretty obvious thats the choice I would make when put in that situation
Did you tell them afterward that you had aborted?
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Old 02-05-2014, 03:49 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,279 posts, read 4,733,896 times
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I'm going to guess that the women from the examples in the OP only told their partners afterwards when they realized (probably due to the aftercare instructions from the clinic or hospital) that they wouldn't be able to have sex for a few weeks. Or maybe they realized after the fact that he might see some insurance paperwork that mentioned it.

I'm also going to guess that there are probably a lot of relationships out there where the woman has an abortion and never tells the man. I know a lot of women who would at least consider having a 'secret' abortion, especially if they didn't want children or didn't want any more children and they knew their partner did. I also know a few women who felt their family size was complete but were pressured into a 3rd or 4th pregnancy by a spouse who really wanted to keep trying for a son/daughter.

It would be interesting to know if peoples' opinions on the idea of a woman having a secret abortion would be different based on whether or not the couple had children already. I'd also be interested in seeing responses specifically from men who are pro-choice.

I hate to bring TV into the discussion, but there was an episode of Grey's Anatomy where the wife of a quiverfull couple begged the OB-GYN to tie her tubes during a C-section, without telling her husband, because she couldn't emotionally handle adding any more children to their family, but her husband was opposed to birth control. It's a similar scenario to the idea of having a secret abortion, and I found myself thinking about that episode while reading this thread.
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Old 02-05-2014, 03:59 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,173,486 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wry_Martini View Post
I'm going to guess that the women from the examples in the OP only told their partners afterwards when they realized (probably due to the aftercare instructions from the clinic or hospital) that they wouldn't be able to have sex for a few weeks. Or maybe they realized after the fact that he might see some insurance paperwork that mentioned it.

I'm also going to guess that there are probably a lot of relationships out there where the woman has an abortion and never tells the man. I know a lot of women who would at least consider having a 'secret' abortion, especially if they didn't want children or didn't want any more children and they knew their partner did. I also know a few women who felt their family size was complete but were pressured into a 3rd or 4th pregnancy by a spouse who really wanted to keep trying for a son/daughter.
And I'm going to guess you're absolutely correct.

Can't rep you for it right now, though.
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Old 02-05-2014, 04:08 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,427,520 times
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The going behind my back part is reason alone for there to be no faith or trust put in a person like that. The abortion topic is a separate and a completely different one altogether
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Old 02-05-2014, 07:48 PM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,289,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Did you tell them afterward that you had aborted?
Yes. He reacted well. He understood that the decision was the right one and was one I would have made in any circumstance.
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:03 PM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,592,324 times
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It takes man and a woman to make a baby, no abortion should ever take place without both parties at the very least informed. After all, both parties are held financially responsible, when a baby is born. Feminazi powered nonsensical laws need a change, and need it soon.
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