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Bury yourself in your career and become wealthy. The women will then chase you.
Funny thing is, that is still the norm in more traditional countries, where marriage is still more of a socio-economic and cultural institution than a romantic one. If I'm a doctor in India and have spent most of my early life buried in academics instead of practicing socializing, it doesn't really matter because your family and/or friends will help you find a wife. You can be a "boring", conventional, straight-arrow workaholic and easily find a long term relationship. In Western countries where the LTR has become more of an individual's choice, burying yourself in your work will simply hamper one's social skills and in the long run hurt your chances of attracting women. Of course your career is important, and being rich and/or powerful helps, but Western women also value charisma, intelligence, and humor, at least in my personal experience. This is not to say that, say for example, a traditional Chinese woman doesn't value those traits, but being a kind or smart guy will not get you further in the mainland Chinese dating scene than having a high status job.
Funny thing is, that is still the norm in more traditional countries, where marriage is still more of a socio-economic and cultural institution than a romantic one. If I'm a doctor in India and have spent most of my early life buried in academics instead of practicing socializing, it doesn't really matter because your family and/or friends will help you find a wife. You can be a "boring", conventional, straight-arrow workaholic and easily find a long term relationship. In Western countries where the LTR has become more of an individual's choice, burying yourself in your work will simply hamper one's social skills and in the long run hurt your chances of attracting women. Of course your career is important, and being rich and/or powerful helps, but Western women also value charisma, intelligence, and humor, at least in my personal experience. This is not to say that, say for example, a traditional Chinese woman doesn't value those traits, but being a kind or smart guy will not get you further in the mainland Chinese dating scene than having a high status job.
Some fair points in there and for the most part I agree.
Like anything to be successful, a healthy balance is Ideal. When I said bury yourself in work, I meant for 9 hours of the day, really give it all you have. If you really work hard and dedicate yourself, no matter the field you can become wealthy. Some occupations just take longer than others.
The people I know who are successful in both the dating world and work. Are people who dedicate a good deal of their leisure time, to social activities.
It useless for me to even like a woman. I'm too shy to even say hi to one! I've tried getting rid of my shyness and nothing works. Knowing I can't get a woman to like me, I just bury my feelings and hope they go away for good. I can't approach a woman because I get scared. I do feel sad about this sometimes but I was born this way. I just want to bury my feelings towards women for good and not have to worry about liking them because I can't do anything about it. How do I do this?
As another poster stated " you can't". You will always wonder what you are missing and feeling lonely. You need to find ways to speak with women as human beings. Not just someone you want something from. I understand having trouble talking with women. Women I know I am comfortable with but women I don't know I have problems talking with. For example: last Friday night I was leaving the gym and just ahead of me was a cute young woman. She didn't know I was exiting the gym a little behind her. She turned back to me smiling and said I had scared her. She looked at me, still smiling, for a moment more. I wanted to reply but couldn't. I smiled back at her and walked to my car. You and I both need to learn how to seize golden opportunities like this.
As another poster stated " you can't". You will always wonder what you are missing and feeling lonely. You need to find ways to speak with women as human beings. Not just someone you want something from. I understand having trouble talking with women. Women I know I am comfortable with but women I don't know I have problems talking with. For example: last Friday night I was leaving the gym and just ahead of me was a cute young woman. She didn't know I was exiting the gym a little behind her. She turned back to me smiling and said I had scared her. She looked at me, still smiling, for a moment more. I wanted to reply but couldn't. I smiled back at her and walked to my car. You and I both need to learn how to seize golden opportunities like this.
I think that's a golden opportunity to say something, anything, maybe like "I'm not THAT scary" in a flirty way. My problem normally is I'm rarely even in an opportunity like that. The only time a woman will take the initiative to start a conversation is when she wants me to look over her things or something. Otherwise, it seems I am almost always the initiator, which I'm starting to relish and take advantage of as time goes on instead of wimping out.
It useless for me to even like a woman. I'm too shy to even say hi to one! I've tried getting rid of my shyness and nothing works. Knowing I can't get a woman to like me, I just bury my feelings and hope they go away for good. I can't approach a woman because I get scared. I do feel sad about this sometimes but I was born this way.
Although something like that has never happened in my case but......
I can understand what you're trying to say here.I have never approached girls as well, I just don't feel like doing so.I have my own reason for this(not shyness)
In your case I think you should never think that you're useless.If you think you're useless, you will become useless, you will remain useless.Hence I would say in short you making yourself useless.You have to first believe that you're good as good as anyone else,at least believe it.Everything starts from belief.If you are feeling bad about the fact that you can't approach woman do something about it.
Analyse what is causing you to feel useless and approach the root cause of it, you have to find in which areas other than shyness you're lacking, crying and whining is not to help you or make the situation any better for you.I know you've mentioned that you've tried but yes you've got to try harder(easier said than done) but I guess that how life is, some people struggle more than others for the same thing.
Also you should try to increase your confidence, work on it.Believe it or not confidence is an attractive quality and it does make an impact.Hence you should try to be more confident about yourself.
I might add to this, above all that I mentioned you also need despite your best efforts, provided you try.Yes some people they are just plain unlucky even those who are confident in their approach(but confident people are also known to make their own luck).Its sad.In your case if you've decided that you can't get a woman to like you, well I guess you shouldn't have to worry about it then.Just stay away from women and your feelings for them would eventually go away.just be yourself, live your life concentrate on your career and all those things that would keep you occupied and happy as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mtbornnard
I just want to bury my feelings towards women for good and not have to worry about liking them because I can't do anything about it. How do I do this?
Well a part of this question has been answered above and there is no clear cut and straight forward method for stop your feelings for women.With time it will go away slowly but steadily but it also depends upon how emotionally strong you are as a person
Your problem isn't with females, it's with yourself
Self worth. Find it.
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