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My previous post has been rendered mute as the woman I was interested in has moved town. C'est la vie! Many months ago I registered on an online dating site. One day someone contacts me and we start chatting. Unfortunately she was out of town for a few weeks so meeting has been problematic. We will for the first time meet this weekend. Meeting up for drinks on Friday and going to a party on Saturday.
Our chat sessions have been going great; lasting for hours at a time and I've been in seventh heaven during all of it. Until this past weekend that is. I'll paraphrase but in my goodnight I used the words 'my friend' in there somewhere. The next day I noticed that her responses are short and I asked if anything happened. She replies yes the 'my friend' comment really got to her, that she cried herself to sleep about me friendzoning her and it feels as if I'm not even considering us ever being more than friends. I immediately replied that the comment was not meant to friendzone her, as that is the furthest things from my mind right now, that my words were purely an attempt at a friendly goodnight and that I'm really looking forward to seeing her this coming weekend.
I know I screwed up, weird as I actually wanted to use different word in the message but thought them to be a little inappropriate for people who have never met. And besides how can we be anything but friends after only texting for a few weeks?
I cannot help but feel that that our interactions have changed. It's not the same flowing conversations as we have and fewer smiley faces are used. Incredible how two words can be understood so differently by two people! My question is; what can be done to calm the nerves, mine especially, before meeting on Friday? Now that this cloud, is hanging over us.
Wow. The day someone can't use the word "my friend" in a communication without the other person flipping out and taking it like they've been friendzoned is the day we should all give up. That's insane! Tell her you meant it affectionately, and she shouldnt be reading so much into it. In any case, things should (hopefully) get back on track after you see each other this weekend. And if they don't, no great loss, imo. Someone who would get so bent out of shape over such a minor thing is, well...red flag-worthy, I'd say.
As for your own peace of mind, go into it as if nothing has happened, and with the mindset that you're going to have a great date getting to know each other. Think positive, don't get hung up on it. For now, all you can do is text her that you meant it affectionately, and you're sorry she misconstrued it, and that you hope a small misunderstanding like that won't affect the great thing you two have going.
Probably not much since she has already convinced herself that you want nothing more than friendship.
Good luck with this one and I hope it works out if you both want it to.
Cripes, some people are just too sensitive and read too much into such an innocent comment.
Did she expect you to say "Goodnight my love" when you have only chatted and not actually met face to face yet?
Since you've not met yet, I don't blame you for not wanting to be mushy yet. Just tell her that. She's probably used to being mushy over chat with guys she's never met. Let her know that you are different and need to meet first.
And crying herself to sleep, really? You've never even met.
I would be worried that she is not who you think she is and you have set yourself up to spend a full weekend with a virtual stranger. Interacting face to face is very different from texting, FYI.
And crying herself to sleep, really? You've never even met.
I would be worried that she is not who you think she is and you have set yourself up to spend a full weekend with a virtual stranger. Interacting face to face is very different from texting, FYI.
D-R-A-M-A. This isn't at all a good sign at such an extremely early stage in the acquaintance. I'm starting to think this may not be worth salvaging. Let us know how the first date goes. You may discover she's a completely different person than what you thought, maybe a little unstable.
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