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Old 02-08-2014, 01:18 AM
 
16 posts, read 33,105 times
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is it possible for a man with really bad adult acne to get a girlfriend?
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Old 02-08-2014, 09:59 AM
 
Location: South Africa
24 posts, read 45,799 times
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The chances are far higher that a female severe acne sufferer will struggle badly finding someone to date her. In the assessment of female attractiveness, there is a massive weighting towards appearance; even if the woman may have other qualities like a warm and caring heart. She may not even get to share her warm and caring heart because from a distance, she has already been written off due to her bad skin. The assessment of a man's attractiveness is somewhat different - we women do notice a man's looks but also do an 'aura' search and place high value on kind eyes, manners etc. There are not a lot of women who will rule out a man with bad skin - but very many men who will rule out a woman with bad skin. It can prevent a man even going up to say hello. A teen girl with acne is one thing - a fully grown 30 or 40sth year old is quite another. A girlfriend with bad acne is not something a man will feel he should accommodate when the majority of adult women in fact don't have severe teen-like acne. There would have to be overwhelming justification to date one who did. In a nutshell, the male ego secretly loves for other males to want what he has, hence she must be attractive. Her looks mean a lot to him personally - but inside he also wants her looks to mean something to other men. Women on the other hand don't necessarily want to show off that they have good-looking guy - rather they want to show off that he treats them well and that they have a special place in his life. Status is everything. So females with severe acne suffer far more prejudice because it just has always been that a woman's looks have counted for more than a man's. And that prejudice is not going anywhere. If your confidence levels are ok, you really should not believe your acne has ruined your appeal. Confidence is so attractive. Altogether there are just so many non-obvious things women examine a man for, that bad skin is highly unlikely to render any man undateable. Very many women are pulled in by kind eyes and nice manners, even if they initially didn't find the man attractive.
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Old 02-08-2014, 10:04 AM
MJ7
 
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I've seen plenty of good looking females in relationships with guys that had acne, but not necessarily Bad acne. What do you mean by bad acne? Like severe?
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Old 02-08-2014, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,401 posts, read 30,809,250 times
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It will make things harder, but it's always possible. Do what you can to make it go away and just deal with it, it's not really your fault so you're going to just have to work with it.
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Old 02-08-2014, 10:12 AM
 
2 posts, read 10,325 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoane View Post
The chances are far higher that a female severe acne sufferer will struggle badly finding someone to date her. In the assessment of female attractiveness, there is a massive weighting towards appearance; even if the woman may have other qualities like a warm and caring heart. She may not even get to share her warm and caring heart because from a distance, she has already been written off due to her bad skin. The assessment of a man's attractiveness is somewhat different - we women do notice a man's looks but also do an 'aura' search and place high value on kind eyes, manners etc. There are not a lot of women who will rule out a man with bad skin - but very many men who will rule out a woman with bad skin. It can prevent a man even going up to say hello. A teen girl with acne is one thing - a fully grown 30 or 40sth year old is quite another. A girlfriend with bad acne is not something a man will feel he should accommodate when the majority of adult women in fact don't have severe teen-like acne. There would have to be overwhelming justification to date one who did. In a nutshell, the male ego secretly loves for other males to want what he has, hence she must be attractive. Her looks mean a lot to him personally - but inside he also wants her looks to mean something to other men. Women on the other hand don't necessarily want to show off that they have good-looking guy - rather they want to show off that he treats them well and that they have a special place in his life. Status is everything. So females with severe acne suffer far more prejudice because it just has always been that a woman's looks have counted for more than a man's. And that prejudice is not going anywhere. If your confidence levels are ok, you really should not believe your acne has ruined your appeal. Confidence is so attractive. Altogether there are just so many non-obvious things women examine a man for, that bad skin is highly unlikely to render any man undateable. Very many women are pulled in by kind eyes and nice manners, even if they initially didn't find the man attractive.
not bashing but taking in account my FA friends and from the plenty of proof over the internet forums etc, i have to disagree. And this comes from someone who don't have trouble getting relationships. bad looks can be very difficult to overcome for both genders
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Old 02-08-2014, 10:13 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 10,679,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
It will make things harder, but it's always possible. Do what you can to make it go away and just deal with it, it's not really your fault so you're going to just have to work with it.
I have a few friends that have struggled with skin into adulthood and they cleared up either by outgrowing it or if they had adult acne, they stopped using chemicals on their skin, which they said was the sole reason for acne in the first place. I have no experience other than the teen years, but it is something to look into. Acne can be pretty hard on people, which is why this person asked.
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Old 02-08-2014, 10:18 AM
 
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Im in my 30's and still have it luckily my face is much better but my back is pretty bad..
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Old 02-08-2014, 10:19 AM
 
5,312 posts, read 6,076,447 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoane View Post
The chances are far higher that a female severe acne sufferer will struggle badly finding someone to date her. In the assessment of female attractiveness, there is a massive weighting towards appearance; even if the woman may have other qualities like a warm and caring heart. She may not even get to share her warm and caring heart because from a distance, she has already been written off due to her bad skin. The assessment of a man's attractiveness is somewhat different - we women do notice a man's looks but also do an 'aura' search and place high value on kind eyes, manners etc. There are not a lot of women who will rule out a man with bad skin - but very many men who will rule out a woman with bad skin. It can prevent a man even going up to say hello. A teen girl with acne is one thing - a fully grown 30 or 40sth year old is quite another. A girlfriend with bad acne is not something a man will feel he should accommodate when the majority of adult women in fact don't have severe teen-like acne. There would have to be overwhelming justification to date one who did. In a nutshell, the male ego secretly loves for other males to want what he has, hence she must be attractive. Her looks mean a lot to him personally - but inside he also wants her looks to mean something to other men. Women on the other hand don't necessarily want to show off that they have good-looking guy - rather they want to show off that he treats them well and that they have a special place in his life. Status is everything. So females with severe acne suffer far more prejudice because it just has always been that a woman's looks have counted for more than a man's. And that prejudice is not going anywhere. If your confidence levels are ok, you really should not believe your acne has ruined your appeal. Confidence is so attractive. Altogether there are just so many non-obvious things women examine a man for, that bad skin is highly unlikely to render any man undateable. Very many women are pulled in by kind eyes and nice manners, even if they initially didn't find the man attractive.
Oh please women are into looks every bit as much as men lets stop the nonsense
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Old 02-08-2014, 10:46 AM
 
254 posts, read 316,962 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macas View Post
is it possible for a man with really bad adult acne to get a girlfriend?
If it's very bad it is near impossible. I had it as an employed, responsible, U.S. Marine, that wanted to date and marry an American woman. Bearing in mind this was a time when I bought into the crap about listening to and changing yourself a 100 different ways women (or men) told you to, just to get a woman. I was highly loyal to America.

The truth is life reflects a lot of the theory of evolution in Sexual Selection.

My face cleared up about the time--ironically --I became a crack addict and my addiction caused me the loss of my job(s). I used to work two jobs at one time after I got out of the Corps. Two low paying manual labor jobs. But when my face cleared up American women began flirting with me. What infuriated me more than them liking me as an unemployed, crackhead, financially irresponsible, was that I actually had American women gushing over me being a former Marine.

All of a sudden my being "a Marine" mattered in terms of "character" once I was out and crack addicted. When I served as a Marine and had no substance addiction it didn't mean sh*t.

People judge you on looks. That's the hard--adult--truth. No child tales of the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Women are severely critical on your looks. But women in the United States don't need to be living in abject poverty in a mud floor hut to prostitute themselves and their souls... they do it all the time in Vegas strip clubs (to foreign men like Japanese in business suits) and pornography, and if you have enough money and fame they'll just as well date you too. So, money and fame can counter balance your face wrecked by acne.

I warn you to not buy into the child tales of women looooooooooooveing "nice guys" and just wanting to be told they are "beautiful." Awwwwww, how sweet. Not. At best you'll be a "cute" puppy to them.

My advice is to work on the acne. The damned Navy wouldn't allow or prescribe me that Acutane (or whatever it's called) even though I had an NCO in the Corps on my back to take care of my acne. Marines care more about how one looks in uniform than the Navy does. The Navy kept giving me some excuse like, "Well... what if you get shot in war... blah, blah, blah."

There was a time as a crackhead I had one pair of pants. Today I dress better than many if not most non-drug addicts. Most people have no clue I'm a crackhead, even alcoholics think I must be an alcoholic and not a crackhead. And I know for a fact from experience people treat you differently based upon your looks (dress and/or facial appearance etc.). Because so many non-addicts take the minimum care of themselves, only dress in cheap jeans, I can go into a social setting or public building and be treated better than many of them. No one would see my "character" of crack addiction. They only see the way I look. And that's all that matters.

Take care of your physical and outer apparence.

If need be... and you're white (doesn't work so well for people of color)... look into getting dermabrasion (spelling?) done if your face is too pitted from acne scarring.
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Old 02-08-2014, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,401 posts, read 30,809,250 times
Reputation: 16642
Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ7 View Post
I have a few friends that have struggled with skin into adulthood and they cleared up either by outgrowing it or if they had adult acne, they stopped using chemicals on their skin, which they said was the sole reason for acne in the first place. I have no experience other than the teen years, but it is something to look into. Acne can be pretty hard on people, which is why this person asked.
I meant work with it like just getting along with it and not worrying about it. Not using chemicals
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