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So I've been single all my life and I'm 29 years old (gay male). Over the past two months I've been seeing this guy and he seems like he wants to have a relationship with me beyond the sexual stuff. The sex is excellent and we're both very attracted to each other. However, my face is cuter than his, but his body is in better shape than mine. He's the manger of a fitness club and I'm an accountant lol.
So, this guy meets some of my key criteria that I look for in a guy: masculine, nice body, close to my age (only 1 year apart) and slightly taller than myself. We get along just fine.
But then there are some things that I'm not so crazy about, about him. He smokes weed about once a week (but never does it around me), he's fast paced, kind of hyper, but when he's with me he slows down considerably. And he only has a high school education (I have a master's degree). He has had a steady job for six years now as the manager of a prestigious fitness club that charges $165 a month for a membership. He's 28 years old and bisexual.
What should I do? I mean, he's got an amazing body, the sex is great, he's quite masculine, he's near my age and we get along well. But I wish his face was a bit more attractive and wish that he was more educated. Sometimes I feel like our discussion space is limited because of his limited education level.
I have always tried to find someone who meets about 85-90% of my criteria, but never found it. My friends and therapist are telling me that that's unrealistic and should aim more for like 75%. This guy meets about 70% of my criteria, I'd say.
So I've been single all my life and I'm 29 years old (gay male). Over the past two months I've been seeing this guy and he seems like he wants to have a relationship with me beyond the sexual stuff. The sex is excellent and we're both very attracted to each other. However, my face is cuter than his, but his body is in better shape than mine. He's the manger of a fitness club and I'm an accountant lol.
So, this guy meets some of my key criteria that I look for in a guy: masculine, nice body, close to my age (only 1 year apart) and slightly taller than myself. We get along just fine.
But then there are some things that I'm not so crazy about, about him. He smokes weed about once a week (but never does it around me), he's fast paced, kind of hyper, but when he's with me he slows down considerably. And he only has a high school education (I have a master's degree). He has had a steady job for six years now as the manager of a prestigious fitness club that charges $165 a month for a membership. He's 28 years old and bisexual.
What should I do? I mean, he's got an amazing body, the sex is great, he's quite masculine, he's near my age and we get along well. But I wish his face was a bit more attractive and wish that he was more educated. Sometimes I feel like our discussion space is limited because of his limited education level.
I have always tried to find someone who meets about 85-90% of my criteria, but never found it. My friends and therapist are telling me that that's unrealistic and should aim more for like 75%. This guy meets about 70% of my criteria, I'd say.
Help!
Well, that's a whole lot of horse crap right there, so I suggest you let him go, since you'll always be looking down on him.
So I've been single all my life and I'm 29 years old (gay male). Over the past two months I've been seeing this guy and he seems like he wants to have a relationship with me beyond the sexual stuff. The sex is excellent and we're both very attracted to each other. However, my face is cuter than his, but his body is in better shape than mine. He's the manger of a fitness club and I'm an accountant lol.
So, this guy meets some of my key criteria that I look for in a guy: masculine, nice body, close to my age (only 1 year apart) and slightly taller than myself. We get along just fine.
But then there are some things that I'm not so crazy about, about him. He smokes weed about once a week (but never does it around me), he's fast paced, kind of hyper, but when he's with me he slows down considerably. And he only has a high school education (I have a master's degree). He has had a steady job for six years now as the manager of a prestigious fitness club that charges $165 a month for a membership. He's 28 years old and bisexual.
What should I do? I mean, he's got an amazing body, the sex is great, he's quite masculine, he's near my age and we get along well. But I wish his face was a bit more attractive and wish that he was more educated. Sometimes I feel like our discussion space is limited because of his limited education level.
I have always tried to find someone who meets about 85-90% of my criteria, but never found it. My friends and therapist are telling me that that's unrealistic and should aim more for like 75%. This guy meets about 70% of my criteria, I'd say.
Help!
Perhaps he wishes you had a nicer body? And educated in what, exactly? Physics or Electrical Engineering? Why do you equate formal education with intelligence or even education?
I'm still in the process of getting my bachelor's degree, and I've dated many men with graduate and professional degrees. And while some may be skilled in their profession or field of study, I am quite skilled and adept in mine, and have no problem holding my own in a variety of academic and intellectual settings.
An ex of mine is a self-taught software developer. As an automath, I have mad respect for autodidactism. Your beau is doing well for himself. That should be enough.
I'd laugh at anyone who attempted to insult my intelligence by implying our conversation and interaction is limited due to lacking X amount of college credits. Not only would I laugh, but I'd happily challenge such baseless assumption. The end result would be a serious case of open mouth, insert shoe store.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnatomicflux
Well, that's a whole lot of horse crap right there, so I suggest you let him go, since you'll always be looking down on him.
Oh Lord. LOL. Forget all that other stuff. I have 2 qustions for you:
1. If it wasn't for the sex, would hang out with him? Would you have anything in common? Would he be one of your best friends if you did not find him sexually attractive?
2. Do you feel like a better person around him? Does he bring out the best qualities in you, or make you see yourself in a new way that you actually like?
If you can't answer affirmatively to both questions then this is probably not long term relationship material. All that height/weight/looks/education stuff is irrelevant IMO. The right person for you may have none of those things on your list in the end, but they will make you answer those 2 questions with an enthusiastic yes. Sometimes that's all you need to get sexual attraction going.
Oh Lord. LOL. Forget all that other stuff. I have 2 qustions for you:
1. If it wasn't for the sex, would hang out with him? Would you have anything in common? Would he be one of your best friends if you did not find him sexually attractive?
2. Do you feel like a better person around him? Does he bring out the best qualities in you, or make you see yourself in a new way that you actually like?
If you can't answer affirmatively to both questions then this is probably not long term relationship material. All that height/weight/looks/education stuff is irrelevant IMO. The right person for you may have none of those things on your list in the end, but they will make you answer those 2 questions with an enthusiastic yes. Sometimes that's all you need to get sexual attraction going.
You're welcome! LOL!
1. Maybe once in a while. Aside from the sex, I do like his company. It's usually better than being lonely.
2. Somewhat, but only because I have a master's degree and he only has a high school education. So I get the feeling that I am a well accomplished individual.
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