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Old 02-18-2014, 09:38 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,705,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinebar View Post
I'm fairly new to her posts and I must have missed that.
I believe it was Harvard Law

Quote:
Originally Posted by angrymillionaire View Post
Yes I am a lawyer by profession went to Harvard after all then eventually moved on to my current profession, where i lied about my experience then got hired So yes I´m argumentative by profession.

But in my real ife I got tired of it.
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Old 02-18-2014, 09:59 PM
 
Location: The Cascade Foothills
10,942 posts, read 10,246,923 times
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"But in my real life I got tired of it."



I'm speechless......
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Old 02-18-2014, 11:44 PM
 
Location: I don't know..If you find me, let me know.
639 posts, read 678,194 times
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If you want to stop thinking negative then start Meditation and Yoga....
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:36 PM
 
1,373 posts, read 2,956,301 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omaraz View Post
This is the most f'ed up thing I've read on the internet today. I can't believe you're looking for advice on how your twin can win her husband back from his girlfriend? That's just insane, you should be trying to convince her to get a divorce and take his butt to the cleaners in court. I surely hope you're trolling us.
Reading is fundamental. The question was not about winning the guy over but how to stop thinking about them & how to stop negative thoughts. Where did I say she needs to win him back?
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:47 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,163 posts, read 52,609,244 times
Reputation: 52655
Based on what I can deduce from the OP, this sounds like it should be in the psychology forum. If the question pertains to trying to figure out how to control the mind and stop thoughts then yeah, it should be moved.
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:55 PM
 
1,373 posts, read 2,956,301 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Based on what I can deduce from the OP, this sounds like it should be in the psychology forum. If the question pertains to trying to figure out how to control the mind and stop thoughts then yeah, it should be moved.
Yes thanks, I stated from the beginning it might need to go to the psychology forum & IMO you are right should be in the psychology forum. Mods I know your hands are full already but please kindly switch to psychology forum

This is a nice article I found from
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ruin-life.html


in building your own arsenal of ANT-eater solutions.
‘Develop an ANT-eater in your brain that can eat up all the negative thoughts that come into your head. Whenever you feel mad, sad or frustrated, write down your ANT, then write down what your ANT-eater would say to that ANT to kill it.
Make a pact with yourself to not listen to your ANTS. If you do this, your thoughts will ­translate into actions and those actions will cause your body to transform into the body you’ve always wanted. Your body follows your mind. It has no choice.’

Stress buster: Try to put a positive spin on anything you can to raise your mood
NINE SPECIES OF ANT (and ANT-eater solutions)
(Watch out for the red ANTs — these ones really can sting!)
ANT: All or nothing
This is the black-and-white thinking that leads you to believe everything is either all good or all bad. It’s the warped logic that dictates that if you miss one day at the gym you therefore have no self-­discipline and might as well give up the whole idea of exercise completely.
ANT-eater: Force yourself to acknowledge that one slip-up doesn’t mean you should give up. If you skip the gym one day, make sure you go the next.
ANT: Using ‘always’, ‘never’, ‘every time’ or ‘everyone’
If you find yourself saying ‘I will never lose weight’ you are acting as if you have no control over your actions.
ANT-eater: Never say never — put a ban on over-­generalised words
ANT: Focusing on negatives
If you find yourself dwelling on negatives at the expense of positives you’ll be more inclined to give up than to persist.
ANT-eater: Try to put a positive spin on anything you can to raise your mood.
ANT: Thinking with feeling
When you assume your feeling about something is true, you may not question it.
ANT-eater: Think with logic instead — look for evidence to support and challenge your view.
ANT: Guilt
Using the words ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘ought to’ and ‘have to’ allows ­feelings of guilt to build up and start to control your behaviour.
ANT-eater: Banish feelings of guilt, do what you can, but not at the expense of your own health or ­sanity, and use the word ‘should’ only when it suits you.
ANT: Labelling
If you label yourself (‘I’m a loser’) you take away your control over your actions and you’ll start to believe your negative labels. This defeatist attitude will then mean you have a tendency to give up easily.
ANT-eater: Avoid labelling yourself, and flip the labels you’re stuck with (‘I am not a loser’).
RED ANT: Fortune-telling
Predicting the worst even though you don’t know what will happen (‘I know I’m never going to be able to stick to this exercise ­programme’). These ANTs are very common and can quickly become an ANT infestation. The problem with fortune-telling is your mind is so powerful it really can make these terrible things more likely.
If you allow yourself to get stressed about something, it can depress your immune system and increase your odds of getting sick. In fact, chronic stress has been implicated in a number of diseases.
ANT-eater: Ask yourself what right you have to be a fortune-teller. You don’t know what the future holds. Instead, be curious about the future in a positive way.
RED ANT: Mind-reading
When you think you know what someone else is thinking (‘he’s looking at my bottom, he must think I’m too fat’).
ANT-eater: You have no idea what people are thinking. If ­someone looks at you it does not necessarily mean they are judging you.
RED ANT: Blaming others
It’s toxic to blame others and take no responsibility for your own ­successes and failures. When you begin a sentence with ‘it is your fault’ it can ruin your life. These ANTs make you a victim.
ANT-eater: You are ­responsible for how your life turns out. You can’t keep blaming ­others.
SUPER-BOOSTER
ANT-eater solution
If your ANT infestation is proving to be particularly bothersome, try this remedy. Write down your ANT — for instance, ‘my skin is so wrinkly and there’s nothing I can do about it’. Then ask yourself:
Is this ANT actually true?
Answer: Yes, I have wrinkles. Then ask: Is there really nothing I can do about it? For instance, can I prevent any more wrinkles coming?
How does this ANT make you feel?
Answer: Sad and old.
Who would you be and how would you feel without this ANT?
Answer: I’d feel great, as if I have more control over how I look.
Now take your original thought and turn it around and ask: is the opposite of my original thought true?
Answer: So there is something I can do to ­prevent wrinkles — I’ll start looking into getting more sleep, ­cutting back on alcohol etc.
Extracted from Change Your Brain, Change Your Body by Dr Daniel Amen, published by Piatkus on January 6 at £12.99. To order a copy (p&p free), call 0845 155 0720.

Read more: How to tame the monsters in your mind: Experts call them ANTS - Automatic Negative Thoughts and unless you learn how to stop them, they'll ruin your life | Mail Online
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:56 PM
 
1,839 posts, read 3,064,128 times
Reputation: 1102
Thoroughly confused. However, the last sentence, something about the OPs twin knows the husband loves her and not the other woman who happens to be pregnant. Are you sure? How do you know he doesn't love the other woman, it's likely there had been more than one sexual encounter, I know it only takes once to get someone pregnant sometimes, but not usually. Why was he screwing around more than once if he loved her?
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:01 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,535,988 times
Reputation: 9174
Quote:
Originally Posted by angrymillionaire View Post
Bottom question, when they have an unwanted baby behind your back, what internal dialogue are you supposed to have with yourself to keep it moving?

How do you get those unwanted thoughts outta your head

Your brain knows they are not that important to occupy your heart but how u tell this to your heart?
This is not something you can talk yourself out of. She has to get right with herself and know her worth. Nothing he does will change that, when she gets there.
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:09 PM
 
1,839 posts, read 3,064,128 times
Reputation: 1102
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
This is not something you can talk yourself out of. She has to get right with herself and know her worth. Nothing he does will change that, when she gets there.
How to get there?
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:10 PM
 
1,373 posts, read 2,956,301 times
Reputation: 1444
Quote:
Originally Posted by relationshippro View Post
If you want to stop thinking negative then start Meditation and Yoga....
Thanks for the advice. But the problem with Yoga & meditation is that they require space, planning & privacy. So not so practical IMO . I was looking more for ways where one can just use the BRAIN ONLY without engaging the body. I know most people here think I am not so good at getting a point across but I hope you understand what I mean. I need strategies that can be used ANYWHERE eg if those thoughts occur in the subway, while watching TV with a group of friends etc
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