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I was told on my last post that the people on CD are not supportive of me staying with my boyfriend, we got back together after a long time apart. Reason for break up suspected cheating. Now he is just arrogant and takes me for granted. I've gotten very negative about the whole thing and he has gotten bolder and bolder flirting with other women. I've been told to step back and let him come to me so he won't take me so for granted and also not to initiate sex. Is that good advice? And more importantly because my thoughts are not helping, how do I change my mindset to be more positive? We see each other regularly and he is affectionate with me and asks me what I want to do (usually just hang out, we don't need to go anywhere, he doesn't have a lot of money.) and will go along with my suggestions. I don't have a complaint other than the neglect and paying attention to other women more than I think is necessary. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
Good advice is for you to go back and read everything you have written about this guy.
Then determine from those words that you have read if this is how you would want to be treated in a relationship.
If any of it sounds normal, good for someone, the right way to treat someone you are supposed to love.
Then look in the mirror and pretend like you are an intelligent mature adult and ask yourself what you would do if you were in the situation you just read about.
I was told on my last post that the people on CD are not supportive of me staying with my boyfriend, we got back together after a long time apart. Reason for break up suspected cheating. Now he is just arrogant and takes me for granted. I've gotten very negative about the whole thing and he has gotten bolder and bolder flirting with other women. I've been told to step back and let him come to me so he won't take me so for granted and also not to initiate sex. Is that good advice? And more importantly because my thoughts are not helping, how do I change my mindset to be more positive? We see each other regularly and he is affectionate with me and asks me what I want to do (usually just hang out, we don't need to go anywhere, he doesn't have a lot of money.) and will go along with my suggestions. I don't have a complaint other than the neglect and paying attention to other women more than I think is necessary. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
How do you be more positive? Dump his a88!! He isn't giving you the respect you deserve based on what you wrote here. I'm sure it feels good to spent time with him, but how does he show you that you are significant and important in his life? Does he do anything that causes you to reflect "that was really special to me, what he just did?" This is just my two cents.
I was told on my last post that the people on CD are not supportive of me staying with my boyfriend, we got back together after a long time apart. Reason for break up suspected cheating. Now he is just arrogant and takes me for granted. I've gotten very negative about the whole thing and he has gotten bolder and bolder flirting with other women. I've been told to step back and let him come to me so he won't take me so for granted and also not to initiate sex. Is that good advice? And more importantly because my thoughts are not helping, how do I change my mindset to be more positive? We see each other regularly and he is affectionate with me and asks me what I want to do (usually just hang out, we don't need to go anywhere, he doesn't have a lot of money.) and will go along with my suggestions. I don't have a complaint other than the neglect and paying attention to other women more than I think is necessary. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
I haven't read anything positive about this guy in your post. What's he bringing to the table? He's affectionate? Big whoop. He wants your input when you go out or hang out. Big whoop.
Where's his respect for you?
The red--if you don't feel good in a relationship and feel there's too much negativity then you need to let that negativity go. It will consume you and you will never be happy.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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If you have to "take someone back," you probably threw them aside for good reason in the first place. I think what is happening now is a good argument for exes are exes for a reason.
How do you be more positive? Dump his a88!! He isn't giving you the respect you deserve based on what you wrote here. I'm sure it feels good to spent time with him, but how does he show you that you are significant and important in his life? Does he do anything that causes you to reflect "that was really special to me, what he just did?" This is just my two cents.
He seems to be proud that we are together. That makes me feel good- the whole "this is my woman" thing. He is very agreeable, like I said, whatever I want to do is ok with him. But I put a negative spin on that, I wonder if he just doesn't care so he goes along with my ideas of what's fun. I know I need to change my mindset so this will work. Any idea how, it's so hard when you're right in the middle of it. I do not want to leave him / find another man. People say the grass is greener, often it is not.
If you have to "take someone back," you probably threw them aside for good reason in the first place. I think what is happening now is a good argument for exes are exes for a reason.
Yeah, it was a good reason, I didn't trust him. exes are exes for a reason, he does and has always had too much involvement with other woman for my comfort level. I have changed, I have become less rigid in what is acceptable, yet there are boundaries and they have been communicated clearly to him. I trust him more now, but definitely not total trust. Part of that is me. I don't know that I could find someone I'd trust all the way. I just want help on how to be more positive here because I don't want to sabotage anything. Not being taken for granted would help- if I step back and let him initiate things will that help? I know you all think it's hopeless. I do not. . .
He seems to be proud that we are together. That makes me feel good- the whole "this is my woman" thing. He is very agreeable, like I said, whatever I want to do is ok with him. But I put a negative spin on that, I wonder if he just doesn't care so he goes along with my ideas of what's fun. I know I need to change my mindset so this will work. Any idea how, it's so hard when you're right in the middle of it. I do not want to leave him / find another man. People say the grass is greener, often it is not.
He must be hung like a horse.
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