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A marriage (and a divorce) is about so much more than a beautiful wedding that the original question is rather silly in my opinion.
When one marries he or she is declaring his or her commitment to this other person (or at least that should be part of what is going on during a wedding in my opinion). A long-term relationship, in most instances, is not the same. Divorce will almost always be more difficult.
Yeah, it's a bad idea to let someone get "revenge" on you because they failed in a past relationship. That's what that would be I think (if a woman walked all over you because she's getting "even" for a man walking all over her). Unfortunately, it happens. You see it here too in threads where people make sweeping generalizations about either sex. I think you were in the thread where someone talked about getting revenge on the opposite sex because of perceived past rejections. I think the term was that person was going to go "nuclear" on the next member of the opposite sex to approach. Basically punish that person for something they never did.
I have to confess, I get annoyed with emotional damage too. I don't hold it against the man--I know people can't just "snap" out of it. Heck, the man I am dating now is emotionally damaged and I think that has a lot to do with his wishy-washyness. I give it a try... but it's not my job (or anyone else's) to "fix" his damage. He has to do that on his own. So do all men and women who have been hurt in the past. And to be on subject, I see more emotional damage (at least in men) after divorce. You see it in them when you go on a date and all they do is talk about their "evil Ex" or talk about "how bad women treat them." Honestly, I should have seen it in the man I am dating now... again I let "love" blind me. I guess it's a weakness of mine I need to be aware of.
I understand. I don't love easily at all. There's a small amount of people I truly and deeply love in my life and they truly had to earn it. My Father abandoning me at 14, taught me that people need to earn love and they just don't get it, because they are family. Everyone gets the same treatment too. I don't pummel women over the head with compliments either. Why give her what every other guy gives her, while knowing VERY LITTLE about her. You earn those compliments, just like I have to earn your respect. Maybe I'm too black and white, but I think love makes us too delusional. We don't want to see people for their true colors!
This is not a knock against you, but the blinding love is what frustrates me so much about women. They fall aimlessly for the piece of crap, while I'm stuck out in the middle of the desert saying I'm a decent guy. It just doesn't even matter anymore. If I can't make them see the good in me, I don't need to let it bother me.
I really don't see how marriage adds anything more to an existing long term relationship than just legalizing the union with a piece of paper really.... what else is there?
This is exactly why a divorce is so much worse than a breakup. You have to go through the legal process of voiding or nullifying a legal contract. It can take months to easily over a year of going to court, sorting out assets, and figuring out any financial requirements.
A breakup sucks, but you can immediately start to move on. With a divorce, you still have to constantly deal with the ex who is probably starting to show animosity towards you (there aren't many pleasant divorces). It's much more of an emotional strain.
I had a weird friend who said having a broken engagement was much worse than a divorce, because she was entitled to nothing. It was such an odd way of looking at it, considering he paid her rent/bills for three years! She also never gave him back the engagement ring even though she probably should have. It was actually the beginning of the end of our friendship because I started seeing her selfishness a lot more than I usually did. She never missed HIM, just the financial aspects of not having to pay for certain things and keeping her own money as opposed to using her own money to pay bills. The guy is actually a good, decent guy...and I'm glad he got out before it cost him more money!
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