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My girlfriend is 6 months pregnant with our baby boy and I could never imagine people could be so judgemental about this. Especially our relatives and our parents' friends.
Everyone thinks it was an oops baby and they get shocked when we say it was a planned pregnancy. I even told my fanantically religious aunt that we loved living in sin. She says the baby can't go out at night without us being married and being christened.
Some people are okay with us having a baby but they are conviced we are planning to marry right after the baby is born.
We have no intention of ever marrying. We are both rational adults who know we should try the best to stay together. In case it doesn't work out, we save a lot of hassle from legal issues.
Of course at the end of the day it's no one's business. But I'm still curious when these days everyone is supposedly so liberal but when things happen people still show their true colours.
Nothing is shocking about what you are doing. Unmarried Couples having kids is so prevalent these days, that it almost seem the norm. Just do your best with your son and don't worry about what people may say or think. Millions of people are in your situation so you have lots of company.
It's certainly the taxpayers' business. Often the father won't marry the woman he impregnated so he can cut and run. Single mothers and their babies live off government handouts more often than not. Child support very often is far too low to support a woman and children.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tchokan
My girlfriend is 6 months pregnant with our baby boy and I could never imagine people could be so judgemental about this. Especially our relatives and our parents' friends.
Everyone thinks it was an oops baby and they get shocked when we say it was a planned pregnancy. I even told my fanantically religious aunt that we loved living in sin. She says the baby can't go out at night without us being married and being christened.
Some people are okay with us having a baby but they are conviced we are planning to marry right after the baby is born.
We have no intention of ever marrying. We are both rational adults who know we should try the best to stay together. In case it doesn't work out, we save a lot of hassle from legal issues.
Of course at the end of the day it's no one's business. But I'm still curious when these days everyone is supposedly so liberal but when things happen people still show their true colours.
You should really keep your Aunt out of your affairs, and probably your life if she cannot keep her overreligious to herself.
Since you say that your finances are independent I'd keep any receipts of any money you spend on the kid, just in case your relationship goes South you have some protection in court so you can protect your rights to visitation. You sound decently like a stand-up man, please keep it that way for your son's sake.
I would look up domestic relations and what would be your legal rights and obligations to the child. If the child has your last name you will automatically have partial custody. Now you can have the child under your insurance. Bewarned however, if you are not through the courts the child can leave the state/country with you or the mother. Be careful! If this relationship doesn't work she can leave or take you for child support. Besides money the court may only agree to certain days you can have/visit your child. You must think in the future. How will the child be raised? Religion? Non-religion? Schools? Extra activies? Sports? Clubs? Disabilities or educational ones?Who will watch the child? Do you both work? Do you need a preschool/daycare/hired baby sitter? Who will pay for all this? How will it be split?
I'm a single mom and it's a huge responsibilty to care for every need of the child. If you do things right they can work out ok.
Wish you luck! And congrats to the parent world (it's like no other)
It's certainly the taxpayers' business. Often the father won't marry the woman he impregnated so he can cut and run. Single mothers and their babies live off government handouts more often than not. Child support very often is far too low to support a woman and children.
I agree, I don't give a rats azz about the religious/moral aspect of it, I care about the financial impacts. If marriage makes the father legal/financially responsible then get married so the tax payer isn't on the hook when they decide that they are done playing house.
You're 43 and your pregnant "always and forever to merely be the girlfriend but never the wife" partner is 28. I'm not religious but I do believe marriage is a crucial part of a committed relationship because it's when the relationship is officially recognized by both families and alliances,in a tribal sense even predating government.
It seems to me that you don't want to be tied to the mother of your child for a long time by any moral or legal consequence aside from the child. You're old enough to know this.
In my opinion, it's disrespectful to the woman to never honor her with a bound and recognized commitment when she's the one nourishing and birthing your seed. Honor not only with devotion, but also being your wife and not some "girlfriend".
But it's your lifestyle, so if it works for both of you then don't worry or complain about other people's opinions.
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to herself.
