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Because you are saying something is wrong with a person when you reject them. Why wouldn't someone take that personally?
It's not that someone is saying something is "wrong" with you... you are just not their type. Kind of like some people like SUVs and some people like sedans. There is nothing wrong with a brand new SUV, but if the person is a sedan person, it's not what they want.
Or think of it like this with friends (since we are people, not cars). There are people you like and respect... but you might not hang out with them. Say it's a co-worker you get along great with in the office, but just because you get along great with him--doesn't mean you want to hang out with him all the time even outside the office... and that isn't to say you think there is something "Wrong" with him, you like him, respect him, maybe even like having lunch with him... he's okay. But he's just not the kind of guy you pal around with.
Now take that same office guy... if he starts moping because you won't hang out with him because he thinks you must think there is something "wrong" with him, what happens? Does this endear him to others in the office or do they start thinking he's a little off... and so people start avoiding him... and no one wants to be his friend he's clingy and moody.
I really think this can happen to men who go about taking a woman's lack of interest so personally. They internalize it so much that it gives off a weird vibe (either though the grapevine or by body language). You can just tell when some people are "off" can't you? And such internalizing leads to less and less dates and more and more internalizing, etc. And soon the lack of interest women have in them becomes a self fulfilling.
Don't take such things so personally. If a person can't do it on their own, they should seek help. In the long run, it's not healthy for someone to be so sensitive to the actions (or disinterest) of others.
49er once you get some more rejections in you will stop caring why because you will be desensitized. You just haven't had enough rejections yet and that's why you still care about them.
49er once you get some more rejections in you will stop caring why because you will be desensitized. You just haven't had enough rejections yet and that's why you still care about them.
This.
To be honest, and I'm not sure if it's a healthy attitude to have, but I almost go in with the mindset that I always expect to get rejected by a girl I'm talking to, or building a simple friendship with someone. When you've had rejections in life, you almost don't get phased by them.
To be honest, and I'm not sure if it's a healthy attitude to have, but I almost go in with the mindset that I always expect to get rejected by a girl I'm talking to, or building a simple friendship with someone. When you've had rejections in life, you almost don't get phased by them.
My view is I assume that the woman is interested in me from the get go and if it turns out shes not then no big deal onto the next one. Sometimes the woman that rejected you will reconsider when she sees you talking to other women. I have had that happen to me before, and honestly I can't remember any of the times I was rejected. Your forget to be honest because they don't matter compared to your successes.
Rejection is just something you will have to learn to deal with in life and the sooner you do the better for your dating life.
My view is I assume that the woman is interested in me from the get go and if it turns out shes not then no big deal onto the next one. Sometimes the woman that rejected you will reconsider when she sees you talking to other women. I have had that happen to me before, and honestly I can't remember any of the times I was rejected. Your forget to be honest because they don't matter compared to your successes.
Rejection is just something you will have to learn to deal with in life and the sooner you do the better for your dating life.
Well, I have had 2 dates and kissed 2 women in my lifetime. However, the girlfriend thing might not happen in my lifetime.
I disagree. Let me give some examples from superficial to more meaningful.
Gal is only attracted to blonde men. You aren't a blonde. She isn't saying something is wrong with you.
Gal is only attracted to men over 6'4" tall. You aren't that tall. She simply isn't attracted -- she isn't saying something wrong with you.
She only wants to date doctors or lawyers.
She needs to feel a certain something inside when she meets a guy.
I could go on and on. You simply don't satisfy her preconceived notions of what she wants. Same thing has probably happened to you when meeting some women -- they didn't satisfy some criteria you were looking for. Doesn't mean anything at all is wrong with them.
How about:
Gal is attracted only to bad boys.
What message does that send? How should that message be received?
What message does that send? How should that message be received?
If you aren't a bad boy, then forget her and find someone who isn't into "bad boys." That's what I do when I run into something similar. There are men out there who only like certain types of women... some, for example, only like women who are "a challenge" and "exciting" (the female equivalent of "bad boys"). I am easy going and kind of, well, vanilla.
The man I just finished dating recently... the one who fizzled out on me and is just friends with me now? He has a history of dating women who are a bit crazy (in my opinion). Moody women who get emotional at the drop of a hat. His ex wife was like that, his last live-in girlfriend was like that (in spades... none of his friends liked her at all because of the way she treated him), and his fiancee (who dumped him) was a bit like that from stories I've heard about her (I never knew her).
Maybe he couldn't really commit to me or really get into me because, for him, I was just too nice and too boring (I tend to be emotionally stable.. don't get angry easily and even when I do get upset, don't act all dramatic).
It sucked and it hurt (because I really liked him and wanted to develop a relationship with him). But it just didn't work. That doesn't mean there is something wrong with me... it just means that I haven't met a man I am "right" for (and vice versa). that's the hard part... you meet lots of people right for you, but they aren't into you. And people you aren't into that think you are right for them. It's meeting someone and you both feel you are right for each other. It's not as easy as Hollywood and pop media make it appear.
If you aren't a bad boy, then forget her and find someone who isn't into "bad boys." That's what I do when I run into something similar. There are men out there who only like certain types of women... some, for example, only like women who are "a challenge" and "exciting" (the female equivalent of "bad boys"). I am easy going and kind of, well, vanilla.
The man I just finished dating recently... the one who fizzled out on me and is just friends with me now? He has a history of dating women who are a bit crazy (in my opinion). Moody women who get emotional at the drop of a hat. His ex wife was like that, his last live-in girlfriend was like that (in spades... none of his friends liked her at all because of the way she treated him), and his fiancee (who dumped him) was a bit like that from stories I've heard about her (I never knew her).
Maybe he couldn't really commit to me or really get into me because, for him, I was just too nice and too boring (I tend to be emotionally stable.. don't get angry easily and even when I do get upset, don't act all dramatic).
It sucked and it hurt (because I really liked him and wanted to develop a relationship with him). But it just didn't work. That doesn't mean there is something wrong with me... it just means that I haven't met a man I am "right" for (and vice versa). that's the hard part... you meet lots of people right for you, but they aren't into you. And people you aren't into that think you are right for them. It's meeting someone and you both feel you are right for each other. It's not as easy as Hollywood and pop media make it appear.
As much as I hate admitting this, looking for the silver lining in situations is how so many of us make it through life. You find the one thing(s) that justifies your actions and brings peace to mind. Sometimes I hate the silver lining, but it's a necessity at times.
Some men and women make such a big deal about being friendzoned by the person they like. Why is that such a bad thing? I don't see why some people get so upset by it, then again I don't have much in common with other people.
Because it means you're not going to get laid.... EVER!! LOL. And you know, most of those who complain here are frustrated virgins from the get go.
Not rocket science really.
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