Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am curious why so many equate "commitment" with "marriage." Like I said, at this point I would like to be in a committed relationship, but I am not so sure I ever want to marry again.
I'm a commitment phobe. I like the idea of marriage but it ultimately scares the bejesus out of me.
Even a serious relationship wouldn't work for me anymore.
I wouldn't say they're afraid of commitment per se, but maybe SMART enough to avoid it?? I've been married and divorced x2 and there will NEVER be a third time!! I learned NOT to make those mistakes anymore! I will date until I die.
There are those that will say that you just chose wrong and there are plenty of people who are in happy marriages that last a lifetime.
I don't know why some women might shun marriage, but with men it is pretty simple. Men simply have little to gain, and much to lose, by getting married. There is nothing a man might possibly want from a woman--e.g. love, sex, companionship--that he needs marriage in order to obtain. All a man does by getting married is limit his sexual options, impose heavy legal obligations on himself, and risk financial ruin in the case of divorce. Not wanting to marry is not a phobia. It is, in fact, perfectly rational.
A lot of men on this forum seem opposed to marriage, however most men I know around me are getting married, I even see many situations where the woman treats the man quite poorly and the man is ok with it. Men that I have seen here seem to have an extreme fear of being alone and seem to settle for just about anything that comes their way as long as she is remotely attractive that is all they want...
I'd bet there are not nearly as many commitment phobic adults as some would believe. Its often a label used by someone who didn't get what they wanted in a relationship. I particularly hear woman use this label against men A LOT. Not every relationship is going to head in the direction that one of the parties wants. Some people are able to move on easier than others.
I'd bet there are not nearly as many commitment phobic adults as some would believe. Its often a label used by someone who didn't get what they wanted in a relationship. I particularly hear woman use this label against men A LOT. Not every relationship is going to head in the direction that one of the parties wants. Some people are able to move on easier than others.
This is a really good point. The person getting slapped with the commitment-phobe label may not be afraid to commit but may not be on the same timetable as the other person.
But people do tend to throw out insults when they don't get what they want.
There are those that will say that you just chose wrong and there are plenty of people who are in happy marriages that last a lifetime.
It is still asking a lot to expect someone from two failed marriages to marry again. Some people are better off avoiding it at that point. They at least learned from the past, unlike people that have had three or four marriages. It is not for everyone. Meanwhile, congrats to those in good marriages. Neither view is right or wrong. It is about what works for you!
No you really have to stop playing your sky diving xbox game bro. Coz you think it's how real nerds play game.
Real men ACTUALLY is willing to sacrifice his life goals, dreams and aspirations FOR A woman he genuinely loves and care for. That's what my husband did. He told me many times. How I ruined his plans. Well I didn't ask him to, he did it by himself. That's a REAL MAN! Worthy to be loved and cared for for the rest of my life!
Who loves and cares for you? Your xbox games? LOL.
Committment phobic men are wussies. And they call themselves real men? How delusional.
Wrong. The guy was smart to part ways. Today it is the skydiving she wants to end. Then tomorrow would be his second most time consuming or expensive hobby. It possibly would continue. He was smart to see that as a serious red flag. At least the guy was active and not drinking a case or more of beer on the couch every weekend.
She was being a control freak over one of his favorite activities and shot herself in the foot. She has no one to blame but herself. She knew he did this when they met. I would never ask a woman to give up her bunco/book club or other activity she enjoys. Men are called chauvinist pigs when they try to stop a woman from doing a hobby or interest she likes.
If the SO or husband gives up something of his own free will (like your husband), that is different. You did not make demands or ultimatums like that other woman.
You can call people names if that makes you feel better.
Last edited by chessgeek; 03-09-2014 at 03:26 AM..
Reason: remove one word.
have you come across commitment phobic people who seem perfectly happy dating a long time and they even treat their partners extremely well and seem to be in love with them but seem to run miles away when the word "marriage" is even mentioned? What is the basic issue of such people and what is the cause of their phobia?
I dated a guy like this - the reason for his commitment phobia was because he had a lot of secrets that he didn't want anyone getting close enough to learn. He liked to keep women at an arm's length by either telling them only what he wanted them to know, or by only engaging in long-distance relationships. Either way, he controlled what they knew of him.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
