The who contacts who debate (dating, girlfriend, women, attracted)

[lastwomanstanding]

Should men be the main pursuers at least 51% of the time? I think it's fair to take turns. I don't think the girl should do the majority of leading the contact or the relationship. I have a girlfriend who is impatient and doesn't wait for her guy to call her because she wants more contact than she is getting and I suspect deep down doesn't think he will do anything to continue the relationship or move things forward. What do you guys think? Should it be even, 50 50 or guy doing the contacting more or girl? Opinions? thank you

[rego00123]

I think there is way too much emphasis on crap that doesn't matter in the Long run as long as you both dig one another.

[savoytruffle]

Being that I am super vocal on this forum about fairness, I have to say 50/50. I'm a feminist so I think women are equal to men...not less, not more. I have never bought into the idea that men should be the main pursuers because they're men and that's the way it's been since forever. Nah, progress is a thing and if a woman wants to talk to a man or ask him out on a date, she should do it.

I see no problem with your friend contacting the guy she's dating without waiting for him to do it. The issue about him not initiating dates is a different thing to tackle, though.

[Prince_Frog]

The majority of the posters here will say they insist on the man to do the majority of the pursuing. And by majority I mean pretty much all of it.

Do what you think is right for you. If you want to contact the guy before he contacts you to show your interest, then go for it. I don't think it's a positive or a negative so long as the feelings are mutual.

[lastwomanstanding]

I told my friend too much chasing will make him less attracted.

[savoytruffle]

Originally Posted by Prince_Frog

The majority of the posters here will say they insist on the man to do the majority of the pursuing. And by majority I mean pretty much all of it.

I don't know, a lot of people here seem to be pretty egalitarian on that.

Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding

I told my friend too much chasing will make him less attracted.

That could be true, but that has nothing to do with women pursuing men or vice versa. The "hard to get" thing works for both sexes at times.

[Metaphysique]

Whatever works for the parties involved.

My BF and I communicate regularly, and we both put in the effort, which isn't difficult at all because we're both genuinely interested in interacting and communicating with each other.

Though I initiated contact, neither one of us was "chasing" the other. It was more like a duet, a dance, if you will. It was harmonious. It never felt forced, awkward or anything. I'm a compulsive communicator, and we're both very transparent and authentic with one another.

[lastwomanstanding]

^^^^^^She wants more communication than she gets but she doesn't want to force it on him or look needy. I tell her just be patient. (when it's not your turn)

[the minx]

Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding

^^^^^^She wants more communication than she gets but she doesn't want to force it on him or look needy. I tell her just be patient. (when it's not your turn)

Turn? Are you playing a game or something?

If she wants to talk to him, she should call. Good god. When you start keeping score in the dating world, you lose.

[lastwomanstanding]

Shouldn't we be observant of how much effort someone is putting in to something?