Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-02-2014, 03:22 PM
 
5,715 posts, read 15,022,729 times
Reputation: 2949

Advertisements

And, if he dumps you and moves on, thank your lucky stars!

You already know he's a cheater.

I've only been around CD for a few hours today and already I've read 3 separate posts from women who are posting about "what to do" about bad, really bad and even down right scary relationships.... as if they think they have something worth "saving".

I don't mean to be mean but I just don't get it....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-02-2014, 03:23 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,099 posts, read 107,250,308 times
Reputation: 115908
Quote:
Originally Posted by lamayra View Post
I will talk to him tonight and post his answers here.

Maybe it's the most stupid thought in the world but right now i'm considering to cheat on him once to be even..and maybe it doesn't hurt so much anymore. But i know i shouldnt.
Why would you do that before you even know what happened this weekend? At this point, the problem is in your mind (except for those two weeks last August, but he dropped that gf).

You said that since you two got back together, everything's been wonderful. So why would you be so eager to throw that away, based on some flimsy evidence (regarding this weekend) and your own guesswork? Maybe everything is, in reality, wonderful. Still. Give him a chance to explain the ATM receipt. It may be nothing, just a night on the town with the guys.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2014, 03:25 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,964 posts, read 52,408,140 times
Reputation: 52469
Quote:
Originally Posted by lamayra View Post
I will talk to him tonight and post his answers here.

Maybe it's the most stupid thought in the world but right now i'm considering to cheat on him once to be even..and maybe it doesn't hurt so much anymore. But i know i shouldnt.
Don't do a tit for tat.

You are only gonna tarnish your "soul" by doing that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2014, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,931 posts, read 11,682,389 times
Reputation: 13170
I don't think this relationship has a happy future, on either end. But since it doesn't sound like it's been a happy one, now or in the past, maybe they'll take the misery loves company couple route and be unhappy ever after.

My advice to Lamayra: get a therapist, join a self-help group for co-dependent people, write to Dr. Phil,......, you need some help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2014, 03:48 PM
 
2,319 posts, read 3,043,341 times
Reputation: 2678
Quote:
Originally Posted by lamayra View Post
I will talk to him tonight and post his answers here.

Maybe it's the most stupid thought in the world but right now i'm considering to cheat on him once to be even..and maybe it doesn't hurt so much anymore. But i know i shouldnt.
Oh please do report back again and again. This is better than a soap opera!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2014, 05:16 PM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,657,089 times
Reputation: 26197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Molli View Post
Oh please do report back again and again. This is better than a soap opera!
Only less creative and more predictable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2014, 07:44 PM
 
12 posts, read 10,926 times
Reputation: 10
First of all, I don't really mind all the 'mean' posts here that I'm stupid or this story must be fake. If you wanna go on like this feel free, but I'm just going to ignore it. To the ones with actual advices- Thanks so much!

Update.. we talked. I decided to not say anything about that girl in August for now. I also didn't tell him about the ATM receipt but I asked him again about that night. He repeated his story saying he got home at one, felt really sick and went straigjt to bed. He even told this story to his parents when we visited them today.

We also talked in general about the future. He said for example that he would never tell me that he will stay with me forever, nor will he tell me tjat he'd never cheat on me or leave me for somebody else. He says he doean't plan om cheating or meeting someone else but that you can never predict life and that those are promises not a single person im the world could make because you never know what happens. I didn't really like these answers. I know that you can never look in the future but I have no problem telling someone that I wanna spend the rest of my life with him and will never cheat.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2014, 07:59 PM
 
541 posts, read 859,184 times
Reputation: 743
OP, I wouldn't tell him you went though his stuff, unless you want an argument. You may have to accept that he's sleeping around behind your back if you want to stay with him. He may or may not come clean to you. If you confront him, he may break up with you, especially if you explain how you knew. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2014, 08:04 PM
 
1,846 posts, read 2,039,844 times
Reputation: 958
He cheated, why do you insist on rationalizing it instead of just finding someone new?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2014, 08:20 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,069,054 times
Reputation: 62664
Quote:
Originally Posted by lamayra View Post
First of all, I don't really mind all the 'mean' posts here that I'm stupid or this story must be fake. If you wanna go on like this feel free, but I'm just going to ignore it. To the ones with actual advices- Thanks so much!

Update.. we talked. I decided to not say anything about that girl in August for now. I also didn't tell him about the ATM receipt but I asked him again about that night. He repeated his story saying he got home at one, felt really sick and went straigjt to bed. He even told this story to his parents when we visited them today.

We also talked in general about the future. He said for example that he would never tell me that he will stay with me forever, nor will he tell me tjat he'd never cheat on me or leave me for somebody else. He says he doean't plan om cheating or meeting someone else but that you can never predict life and that those are promises not a single person im the world could make because you never know what happens. I didn't really like these answers. I know that you can never look in the future but I have no problem telling someone that I wanna spend the rest of my life with him and will never cheat.

Everything you posted here screams "I'll keep you around until new, shiny, pretty comes along so I don't have to "settle" for you".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top