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As someone who is 24, I can not IMAGINE being with anyone younger than 20 (and eh, 20 is stretching it because they can't drink). When I was 16 I honestly thought all my friends dating older guys were dating losers, if they can't get a girl their age that says a lot about a guy. If they can't relate to women their age and only relate to younger women then they aren't very mature. Anyone five/six years out of high school that can still relate to a high schooler (no matter how 'mature' she might seem) can't be very mature. I'm sitting here at 24 and I can't even relate to my 19 year old brother-in-law very much, I couldn't imagine wanting to date any of his friends. Maybe instead of questioning if its okay to date younger, you should be considering how you can emotionally mature more to relate to women closer to your age, hell, five years younger is still 19. But hey, I realize a lot of people aren't very mature at the age of 24, even with kids and family.
If you don't feel like you can relate to women your age, seriously think about that, before starting to consider people underage. I mean, I guess you could date a 18 year old senior if you're really into that barely legal thing.
If you don't feel like you can relate to women your age, seriously think about that, before starting to consider people underage. I mean, I guess you could date a 18 year old senior if you're really into that barely legal thing.
I'd definitely date a woman my age, I'd prefer it in fact but this girl is an exception. I just don't think it's the abomination people think it is, for a guy in his 20s to date a 16-17 yo girl. It's perfectly legal in most of the world, the US is just really weird about it.
I've posted this story before, but it seems relevant. My one ex got married and divorced after we broke up and then went on a sort of dating rampage. He was 32 at the time. There was a very intelligent 19-year-old living in his trailer park - pretty much one of those random geniuses that sometimes just ends up being born into a situation like that. The ex is also a very smart guy. He was THRILLED that a 19-year-old was into him and he was convinced that with her brains and her beauty, he was the luckiest guy in the world.
We used to talk semi-weekly after his divorce because of his kid, as I was kind of helping with the fallout. But for two weeks it was all "She's so amazing. She's so smart. She's so kinky. She's NINETEEN." We're talking blissful raptures here.
On the third week, I asked how things were going. He just said with a groan "She's NINETEEN." All the brains and beauty couldn't make up for the fact that she was still a teenager, with a teenager's maturity. It was pretty funny - he was so crestfallen. I felt kind of bad for him, even if I did laugh a little.
I'd definitely date a woman my age, I'd prefer it in fact but this girl is an exception. I just don't think it's the abomination people think it is, for a guy in his 20s to date a 16-17 yo girl. It's perfectly legal in most of the world, the US is just really weird about it.
Well OP, If she is an exception then why not just wait two years till she is 18? I bet the boyfriend will be gone by then! And you're right the US is really weird about it, probably because american teenagers just aren't (in general here) as mature as 16-17 year olds in other parts of the world.
I'd definitely date a woman my age, I'd prefer it in fact but this girl is an exception. I just don't think it's the abomination people think it is, for a guy in his 20s to date a 16-17 yo girl. It's perfectly legal in most of the world, the US is just really weird about it.
She is only an exception because you want to date her and now you are just trying to rationalize it with your last sentence.
03-05-2014, 06:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belmont22
I'd definitely date a woman my age, I'd prefer it in fact but this girl is an exception. I just don't think it's the abomination people think it is, for a guy in his 20s to date a 16-17 yo girl. It's perfectly legal in most of the world, the US is just really weird about it.
I guess maybe that's where I get it from...being significantly influenced by a culture where this would just be considered normal.
But then again...that same culture is one where if you think you're marrying a girl without paying a brideprice, you better think again.
Or trying to marry a girl without first asking for her hand from her father is like the definition of cowardice.
I guess in America's eyes these are just antiquated customs...
Ah well. What's that divorce rate again? Perhaps then you should get off the soapbox?
idk, I know I wont be ready to get married until I'm around 28/30 and idk, my perception is, if, at 28/30 a woman isn't married or well on her way to being so...then there are issues there that perhaps I just don't want to deal with, and that I shouldn't be expected to.
At 30, a woman is way way past her prime...whereas a man has just entered it. So, why in the world would people expect me to settle for someone not in her prime?
idk, in my eyes...prime settles with prime...which means ~30 settles with ~24...which means ~24 settles with ~18.
Not that it has to happen like that...just that the reality of things leads to that.
It's biology. Women have a clock they're playing against...from 18-28, that's their time. Men on the other hand don't even have to start playing for real until after 28. 32. 35...whatever.
Why are so people so uncomfortable with socio-biological fact?
And beyond all that...I'm sorry...having known many many mid 20 year old men....the average 18 year old woman is much more mature than the average 24 year old man. Why? Because, like I said, women grow up knowing they're playing against a clock...whereas men usually mess around for half a decade before taking anything seriously.
Seriously. The majority of 24 year old men count amongst their hobbies "video games" and I'm sitting here trying to convince people of this? Open your eyes!
I guess maybe that's where I get it from...being significantly influenced by a culture where this would just be considered normal.
But then again...that same culture is one where if you think you're marrying a girl without paying a brideprice, you better think again.
Or trying to marry a girl without first asking for her hand from her father is like the definition of cowardice.
I guess in America's eyes these are just antiquated customs...
Ah well. What's that divorce rate again? Perhaps then you should get off the soapbox?
idk, I know I wont be ready to get married until I'm around 28/30 and idk, my perception is, if, at 28/30 a woman isn't married or well on her way to being so...then there are issues there that perhaps I just don't want to deal with, and that I shouldn't be expected to.
At 30, a woman is way way past her prime...whereas a man has just entered it. So, why in the world would people expect me to settle for someone not in her prime?
idk, in my eyes...prime settles with prime...which means ~30 settles with ~24...which means ~24 settles with ~18.
Not that it has to happen like that...just that the reality of things leads to that.
It's biology. Women have a clock they're playing against...from 18-28, that's their time. Men on the other hand don't even have to start playing for real until after 28. 32. 35...whatever.
Why are so people so uncomfortable with socio-biological fact?
The divorce rate is about 33% (to answer your question... they've been dropping over the years after a peak in the 1980s. Then again, less people are getting married).
I think the reason, in America, that people date and marry closer to their age is that it's not just about having children, it's also a partnership/friendship and when you get a big age gap, you end up having less in common.
I would argue that women have a larger "prime" than what you are saying. Medically, women aren't considered "advanced maternal age" until 34 years old. Men also have a biological clock of sorts, but you are right in that they have a much larger window and their clocks "tick" longer. After about age 40 men are passing their prime. A Biological Clock for Guys?
And that brings up another reason women aren't interested in much older men (as fathers)... it narrows the couple's total window for having children and increases the risk of birth defects (if that's the goal).
Of course, not everyone wants children or even wants to get married. We are just talking about dating... so then this whole age and biological clock thing isn't a factor.
As for the original question, what bugs me about a 16/24 age gap is that she's a minor. It seems a bit weird for a 24-year-old MAN to want to date a 16-year-old child (yes, legally, she's a child). Just sounds like a whole lot of drama.
03-05-2014, 07:06 PM
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^ well then perhaps some prudence is in order as i've been called manipulative, sick, and pedophilic for an opinion that i hold that others find disagreeable.
and more than once, i might add.
it is what it is.
i bet in ten years i'm waking up to the best woman on earth so it's hard to be mad.
my own life is going great lol.
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