What would you consider an appropriate age gap? (guy, younger, children)

[jillabean]

Originally Posted by Guest

^ well then perhaps some prudence is in order as i've been called manipulative, sick, and pedophilic for an opinion that i hold that others find disagreeable.

and more than once, i might add.

it is what it is.

i bet in ten years i'm waking up to the best woman on earth so it's hard to be mad.

my own life is going great lol.

You said an 18-28 year old... and 18-year-old is an adult and you wouldn't be a pedophile at all. So you don't fall in the same camp as someone dating a child. In the US, anyone under 18 is considered a minor/child.

I won't bet against you on your waking up with the best woman on Earth... in fact, I wish you the best and lots of happiness

[MMorena]

Originally Posted by rrah

At 16 I dated a people in their early 20s. Nothing good can come from it.

Originally Posted by belmont22

The singer Lorde is 16 and is dating a 24 year old guy - do you think that's reasonable or inappropriate on the part of the guy? I used to think such a thing was a red flag and sketchy but honestly as long as they hold off sex until the legal age of consent what's really wrong with it? A lot of people are still basically starting out in life in their mid-20s. While a lot of older boyfriends are abusive and controlling let's face it so are a lot of younger boyfriends.

I'm 24 myself and I have a good friend who's 16 and I think she's beautiful and we'd be very compatible and we get along realy well but unfortunately she's taken. At first I felt like she was too young for me anyway but eventually I started to change my mind. I probably relate to her better than to a girl my age who is a mother or well established in a career and I feel like intellectually she is my equal because she's extremely smart.

I do think that if you're old enough to be a girl's dad and she's under 20 that's pretty disgusting, even if it's legal in your jurisdiction. 40+ is a whole different ballpark, and I'd say the same for gay men as well. I find gay guys in their 40s who have 19 year old boyfriends pretty gross, I can't blame them for their attraction but it seems really creepy to me. If they were only like 24-26 though I wouldn't really care at all.

It's simple. What's wrong with the guy that's in his 20s and has to date girls half his age?

...let me tell you the appeal to date an older man becomes less and less attractive after that thought.

[RedZin]

She's a minor child.

Why are we having this conversation?

If this was a 28yo dating an 18yo, I would have no issue with it.

Put simply? My husband is 13 years younger than me.

If I'd tried to date him when he was 16 and I was 29, I would not blame anyone who said I needed therapy.

Instead, we started dating when he was 24 and I was 37. He was already well-established in his career. Very mature for his age. I was in grad school and I'm just not a stick in the mud. We've been together for 8 years. He's not a guy who is driven to have kids (he is a good stepdad to mine, though), but I'm open to adopting or exploring other options if he decides he wants kids later.

Works for us. Just stick to consenting adults, OP.

[Raena77]

Yes age gaps are appropriate when they don't mess with the norm of society.And statutory rape could be a problem.
They are appropriate when it doesn't concern you such as teen pregnancy. Age is something you need to be aware of common interest or is she/he so much older that you will have to prepare for ailments or worst.

Yet after all that my friend is 32 and her husband is 39. They met when she was 16 and he was 23. He's extremely immature and she is motherly they compliment each other.

And the way I see is they are married and happy.
I'm single who am I to judge?

[WyoNewk]

Originally Posted by jillabean

... In the US, anyone under 18 is considered a minor/child....

It does vary by state. In many states 16 is the legal age of consent, or whatever they call it.

But I agree that a 16-year-old should NOT be dating anyone in his 20s. I was not quite 2 years older than my ex when we started dating in high school. (2 years ahead in grades, but I was the youngest in my class.) I felt I was a little old for her. I still think I was. Legal or not, high school KIDS under 18 shouldn't be dating MEN six years older. Yuck! And I'm sorry OP, but I think any guy (or gal) who wants to rob the cradle like that has a mental problem. Ages 16 and 22 are WORLDS apart. If at 22 you have a 16-year-old mentality, it's time to grow up, not start dating a child.

[psichick]

According to wikipedia (not a great source, but give me a break), it looks like in 30 states, the age of sexual consent is 16. Um, that's more than half. Only 11 has an age of consent of 18.

So...legally, dating a 16-year-old in 30 states is legal if you're 24. Now, why would he? Most men don't seem to care. It seems most women wouldn't go backwards as much. I know my brother was dating 17-18 year olds until he was into his late 20's. But then, the maturity levels were about the same.

Personally, I think 16/24 is just wrong. But to each their own (as long as it's legal and no one is coerced or forced). I know my Uncle got involved with my Aunt when he was 19 (she was 29 with 3 kids). 40 years later...they're still married.

[hensleya1]

Originally Posted by belmont22

I'm 24 myself and I have a good friend who's 16 and I think she's beautiful and we'd be very compatible and we get along realy well but unfortunately she's taken. At first I felt like she was too young for me anyway but eventually I started to change my mind.

belmont22--

So?

I don't get what the issue is here, so long as you're in a state where the legal age of consent is 16.

I am tired of seeing people say men who date younger women are creepy. I believe those people just place these labels because they have mental blocks in their own heads.

Women say it usually because younger women are competition for them and they just can't compete looks wise when it comes down to it. They will never admit this is the reason but I am not going to mince words here just to satisfy people's ego's.

And men will say it only because they themselves don't have what it takes to keep up or obtain a younger woman who has high dating market value.

***

I'm 24 and all of my meaningful and loving relationships have been with women who were several years younger. My dating history with older women was an unmitigated disaster... and I probably won't attempt it again.

So, screw everyone else and do what you FEEL is right, and don't live with other people's restrictions. So long as you aren't statutory...

[relationshippro]

One suggested rule is the Half + 7 formula. What it means is the youngest socially acceptable age to date is a person whose age is half your own age, plus seven years. For example, if a person is 30, the youngest that person could date is age 22 (30/2=15+7=22). Then to find the oldest you can date, take your age, subtract 7, and double that number. So for a 30-year-old, the oldest is 46 (30-7=23x2=46).

[belmont22]

Originally Posted by relationshippro

One suggested rule is the Half + 7 formula. What it means is the youngest socially acceptable age to date is a person whose age is half your own age, plus seven years. For example, if a person is 30, the youngest that person could date is age 22 (30/2=15+7=22). Then to find the oldest you can date, take your age, subtract 7, and double that number. So for a 30-year-old, the oldest is 46 (30-7=23x2=46).

Well I'm 24 so that means I couldn't even date an 18 year old? Seems kinda silly

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by belmont22

Well I'm 24 so that means I couldn't even date an 18 year old? Seems kinda silly

It must be such a hardship not to be able to date children.