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For some reason, your post cracks me up. However, I can relate. Similar things have happened from time to time.
As far as dreams, I had a dream that I was *with* someone who looked a bit like Salma Hayek.
As far as dreams, I had a nightmare the other night. I dreamt that Dolly Parton was my mother . . . and I was a bottle baby !!!
For that matter, last night I had a dream that I was with God and God sneezed. I didn't know what to say to him.
I gave this one lady a call. She said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. There was nobody home!
This other lady, she said she was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked. Now she's afraid of the light.
I was once with some woman naked together. I said "Don't laugh at me behind my back." She said "How could I? All the funny stuff is all on the front."
Last week, I found out that my inflatable doll was a lesbian.
About two years ago, I made love to an inflatable women. Now I have an inflatable man looking for me.
What can I say? Good looks don't run in my family. When my mother first got married, she looked like the closest thing to Elizabeth Taylor . . . . . Richard Burton.
I was with a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
I went to a massage parlor. They told me it was self-service.
I'll tell 'ya, I'm never lucky. I decided to look out for #1. Then I stepped in #2.
I saw a bar downtown. The sign outside said "TOPLESS! - BOTTOMLESS!". I went inside. There was no one there.
As far as dreams, I had a nightmare the other night. I dreamt that Dolly Parton was my mother . . . and I was a bottle baby !!!
For that matter, last night I had a dream that I was with God and God sneezed. I didn't know what to say to him.
I gave this one lady a call. She said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. There was nobody home!
This other lady, she said she was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked. Now she's afraid of the light.
I was once with some woman naked together. I said "Don't laugh at me behind my back." She said "How could I? All the funny stuff is all on the front."
Last week, I found out that my inflatable doll was a lesbian.
About two years ago, I made love to an inflatable women. Now I have an inflatable man looking for me.
What can I say? Good looks don't run in my family. When my mother first got married, she looked like the closest thing to Elizabeth Taylor . . . . . Richard Burton.
I was with a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
I went to a massage parlor. They told me it was self-service.
I'll tell 'ya, I'm never lucky. I decided to look out for #1. Then I stepped in #2.
I saw a bar downtown. The sign outside said "TOPLESS! - BOTTOMLESS!". I went inside. There was no one there.
As far as dreams, I had a nightmare the other night. I dreamt that Dolly Parton was my mother . . . and I was a bottle baby !!!
For that matter, last night I had a dream that I was with God and God sneezed. I didn't know what to say to him.
I gave this one lady a call. She said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. There was nobody home!
This other lady, she said she was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked. Now she's afraid of the light.
I was once with some woman naked together. I said "Don't laugh at me behind my back." She said "How could I? All the funny stuff is all on the front."
Last week, I found out that my inflatable doll was a lesbian.
About two years ago, I made love to an inflatable women. Now I have an inflatable man looking for me.
What can I say? Good looks don't run in my family. When my mother first got married, she looked like the closest thing to Elizabeth Taylor . . . . . Richard Burton.
I was with a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
I went to a massage parlor. They told me it was self-service.
I'll tell 'ya, I'm never lucky. I decided to look out for #1. Then I stepped in #2.
I saw a bar downtown. The sign outside said "TOPLESS! - BOTTOMLESS!". I went inside. There was no one there.
As far as dreams, I had a nightmare the other night. I dreamt that Dolly Parton was my mother . . . and I was a bottle baby !!!
For that matter, last night I had a dream that I was with God and God sneezed. I didn't know what to say to him.
I gave this one lady a call. She said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. There was nobody home!
This other lady, she said she was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked. Now she's afraid of the light.
I was once with some woman naked together. I said "Don't laugh at me behind my back." She said "How could I? All the funny stuff is all on the front."
Last week, I found out that my inflatable doll was a lesbian.
About two years ago, I made love to an inflatable women. Now I have an inflatable man looking for me.
What can I say? Good looks don't run in my family. When my mother first got married, she looked like the closest thing to Elizabeth Taylor . . . . . Richard Burton.
I was with a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
I went to a massage parlor. They told me it was self-service.
I'll tell 'ya, I'm never lucky. I decided to look out for #1. Then I stepped in #2.
I saw a bar downtown. The sign outside said "TOPLESS! - BOTTOMLESS!". I went inside. There was no one there.
You guys must be somewhat good looking. Women don't approach unattractive men in that manner.
Yes, I have the makings of what can be a rather attractive (or, for that matter), a very attractive man IF I attend to all the necessary details (i.e., dress appropriately and attractively at all times and in well-fitting clothes, hair washed and attractively styled or prepared by myself or by a barber or hair salon, clean-shaven, keep myself clean & hygienic overall, teeth brushed, and all the other details). It would help if I would tone up my weight in the mid-section (I never used to be a weighty person at all but rather fit until my mid-40s or so). But I notice that if I just hold in my stomach to a middling level, my overall body looks decent if not very decent.
But, along with the above, in those past times of being approached by such women, I also nearly always dressed neatly if not even dressy-like whenever going to work or recreation or whatever. I wasn't one to always be wearing sloppy or ragged jeans and a T-shirt and the like or sweat pants everyday and everywhere. Even on casual occasions, my style was more toward the dressier side. And various attractive women commented on me to my long-time best friend around year 2000 (who himself is the "world's ultimate ladies' man" . . . no B.S. . . . who is married now and has been for two decades) when he asked them what they thought of me sensuality-wise. One quite-attractive woman (a friend or associate of his) said when he asked her about me: "He definitely is a good-looking guy, but he needs to lose some weight. But he is definitely good-looking and a really nice dresser. I like the way he dresses. And he has nice skin (smooth, clean, even-toned facial skin). He does need to work on his weight (mid-section) though and tone up somewhat. But I'll tell you, if he lost some of that weight, oh boy . . ." and my male friend said to her "Oh yeah? you'd go for him?" And she said "Yes! I would!"
And one woman who I was smitten with but didn't take me on ultimately, when I expressed to her over the phone that I know that maybe I'm not the very best-looking man she could take or find, asserted to me by name: "You ARE a veryhandsome man!" Would she say that just to soothe my distraughtness and hurt? I don't tend to think so.
So, in summary: I do have the makings of what can be a quite presentable (handsome, good-looking) man IF I always attend to the details and don't let myself go.
But still, it is not always my appearance (for I don't always attend to every appearance detail at all times) that does or may draw such women in. It is likely just as much (or more so) once they hear me speak to someone else in whatever situation or look at what I'm reading or doing and see how I conduct myself overall, they sense my intelligence, worldliness, and maturity as conveyed perhaps through my choice of language and phrasing that they overhear, my conveyed thinking nature, my humor, my apparently developed personality and willingness to be engaging (usually), my conveyed approachability (i.e., not putting off a vibe of "don't you dare come near me" or "leave me alone" but rather peaceful or calm or otherwise animated but in a non-threatening or non-intimidating way and in a rather intriguing or enticing way), and so on. And perhaps they saw me look or glance at them for a moment or two or three and sensed "This man noticed me and seems to find me appealing yet doesn't seem like a creep or sociopath or jerk-type" and they perhaps felt confident to at least put out a feeler and try to approach me and see where it goes.
So I don't tend to feel that it is simply whatever semblance of looks I do or purportedly have, for I am not always looking like a million dollars. There has to be more to it than that.
Most of these are from Rodney Dangerfield. Very funny stuff. He was hilarious.
All except joke #'s 1, 2, and 8, which were adapted from Henny Youngman; the rest were from Rodney Dangerfield. Although I very often can make up much of my own material and remember said material and even make up material right on-the-spot or ad-libbed, I do also recall many other's jokes, quips, one-liners, stories, routines, et al. I loved Rodney Dangerfield (he died in 1982) and also loved Henny Youngman.
Would you believe that I have a female second cousin who told me she used to date Rodney Dangerfield sometime years ago after he first became a widow? She may have been in college then (whether undergrad or graduate, and whether in New York City or Southern California, I don't know or don't recall). If I recall correctly, she said she did like him very much . . . saying he was a very sweet and kind nice person, intelligent, classy, treated her well, etc. . . . but, in the end, she thought about the age difference and figured that perhaps she should hold out for someone closer to her own generation. But she found him so funny and hilarious.
I am a lifelong jokester, humorist, and clown myself, from my earliest remembered ages. It just runs in me and my father was the same way (my mother too but she most likely picked it up from my father).
As far as dreams, I had a nightmare the other night. I dreamt that Dolly Parton was my mother . . . and I was a bottle baby !!!
For that matter, last night I had a dream that I was with God and God sneezed. I didn't know what to say to him.
I gave this one lady a call. She said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. There was nobody home!
This other lady, she said she was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked. Now she's afraid of the light.
I was once with some woman naked together. I said "Don't laugh at me behind my back." She said "How could I? All the funny stuff is all on the front."
Last week, I found out that my inflatable doll was a lesbian.
About two years ago, I made love to an inflatable women. Now I have an inflatable man looking for me.
What can I say? Good looks don't run in my family. When my mother first got married, she looked like the closest thing to Elizabeth Taylor . . . . . Richard Burton.
I was with a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
I went to a massage parlor. They told me it was self-service.
I'll tell 'ya, I'm never lucky. I decided to look out for #1. Then I stepped in #2.
I saw a bar downtown. The sign outside said "TOPLESS! - BOTTOMLESS!". I went inside. There was no one there.
All except joke #'s 1, 2, and 8, which were adapted from Henny Youngman; the rest were from Rodney Dangerfield. Although I very often can make up much of my own material and remember said material and even make up material right on-the-spot or ad-libbed, I do also recall many other's jokes, quips, one-liners, stories, routines, et al. I loved Rodney Dangerfield (he died in 1982) and also loved Henny Youngman.
Would you believe that I have a female second cousin who told me she used to date Rodney Dangerfield sometime years ago after he first became a widow? She may have been in college then (whether undergrad or graduate, and whether in New York City or Southern California, I don't know or don't recall). If I recall correctly, she said she did like him very much . . . saying he was a very sweet and kind nice person, intelligent, classy, treated her well, etc. . . . but, in the end, she thought about the age difference and figured that perhaps she should hold out for someone closer to her own generation. But she found him so funny and hilarious.
I am a lifelong jokester, humorist, and clown myself, from my earliest remembered ages. It just runs in me and my father was the same way (my mother too but she most likely picked it up from my father).
Rodney died in October, 2004. I recognized the jokes because I have a book of his. My favorite one is: "I got in a cab and told the driver to take me where the action is, he drove me to my house". Another one: " My wife told me she wanted to have sex in the back seat of our car, she gave me the keys and told me to drive".
Last edited by jma501; 04-14-2014 at 09:35 PM..
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However, I can relate. Similar things have happened from time to time.
