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Just try to keep a healthy attitude about it and keep your eyes open for someone else.
I don't meet women in my day to day life. It just doesn't happen
I can't do online dating because I'm not an extremely entertaining/funny guy in terms of writing skills and, even though I've had 1530258325 people in real life say I am very handsome, I look merely decent in pictures and that's not good enough (the only guys who seem to have any success on OLD look like male models)
I don't know how long it will take for me to find somebody else like this
Okay, I'm gonna make a long story short. I'm a 25 year old dude who has never had any real dating success even though I have a decent amount of things going for me (decent looking, stylish, make a great income, etc...). I have struggled with confidence and shyness issues for years
So I met just a stunning 21 year old on Thursday that I'm crazy about. We have everything in common and she is just awesome. We texted all day Friday and then went on an awesome date last night. We feel so comfortable with one another and I went in to kiss her last night and the kiss was absolutely electrifying...she is an amazing kisser. I am head over heels for this girl already. She is perfect physically...fantastic body and face. Her personality is absolutely spot on as she has everything in common with me. Her character so far is great. We went on the date and she offered hard to pay a couple times even though she makes 1/7th my income (I didn't let her pay for anything). I was also at the bar with a few of my friends and she loved my friends and my friends loved her
Anyways, do you guys have any advice for me? The moons just seem to be aligned for me. My biggest concern is that I'm trying hard not to be clingy or come across too strong. I'm a masculine guy so I want to be myself and let her come to me instead of forcing things. It's scaring the hell out out of me how quickly I'm falling for her
Congrats dude.
I recommend taking a slight step back though. Don't come on way too strong or you might throw her off a little bit. It's ok to be excited about someone, and I'm sure she appreciates that.. but just don't drop too much on her at once. There's nothing wrong with a lot of contact, you won't come across as clingy. Stick to the texting rule, don't send another text unless she sends you one. If she doesn't respond to a message of yours, do not send any more. Send a bunch in a row if it's all the same subject, but until she responds, stop. That lets both her and you dictate just how much you're talking.
Don't say how crazy you are about her right away or that you're in love with her or any of that crap. However, you should say nice things to her and show she's important to you.
Other than that, if she likes you there's not too much you can do wrong unless you get really creepy on her.
I texted her today to arrange another date and she rescheduled for wednesday. I get a text about 5 hours later saying that "I'm a great guy and our date was fantastic but she doesn't see this going any further because she still has feelings for someone else". I was dumbfounded but I played it cool. Right now, my spirits are crushed. I tried so hard to resist the avalanche of emotions I was starting to feel for her but I am paying a steep price for not doing a good enough job of resisting the emotions
Anyways I guess I'm looking for some comfort and maybe some advice on what to do. My lack of experience made me start to feel some oneitus towards her. The fact that I'm shy and I don't know how long it will take for me to find somebody like that again is immensely discouraging on top of everything else
Has anybody been in my shoes before? I hate what I created for myself and I knew this was possible but I could not resist it
PUA just made a term for something that's been experienced by 50 billion guys in the past. It's not like a concept that was recently introduced
Anyways, I'm not a part of the PUA community. I don't even care about getting laid - I'm looking 100% for a relationship
There is nothing wrong with having "oneitis". There is nothing wrong with experiencing unrequited love either. It happens to everyone (that includes women!). To say that you should never like someone like a lot is ridiculous. But I am not going to argue with you because you are a PUA believer and people who believe in PUA are insane anyway so there is no convincing them. They will argue forever about it. Your thinking is warped though.
I texted her today to arrange another date and she rescheduled for wednesday. I get a text about 5 hours later saying that "I'm a great guy and our date was fantastic but she doesn't see this going any further because she still has feelings for someone else". I was dumbfounded but I played it cool. Right now, my spirits are crushed. I tried so hard to resist the avalanche of emotions I was starting to feel for her but I am paying a steep price for not doing a good enough job of resisting the emotions
Anyways I guess I'm looking for some comfort and maybe some advice on what to do. My lack of experience made me start to feel some oneitus towards her. The fact that I'm shy and I don't know how long it will take for me to find somebody like that again is immensely discouraging on top of everything else
Has anybody been in my shoes before? I hate what I created for myself and I knew this was possible but I could not resist it
Whoops didn't see this post.
Oneitis, rofl. Dude, stop that now. PUA can have some really good things to read, and I don't think its a bad thing at all to read the articles. However, stay away from the PUA forums. They are absolute trash, filled with scum who probably have never been laid in their life. The things I've read on those boards are some of the most pathetic people (and not because they are womanizers, quite the opposite).
There's nothing wrong with only dating one girl.
At this point, you look at yourself and say "who gives a f*ck about some 21 year old girl". Then you move on, forget about her 100% and you find the next babe. Trust me they are out there, and probably a lot more mature than 21 year olds. I recommend dating a little bit above 21.
Btw, nice car. I had a BMW back when I was playing poker for a living and I really miss it. Got a lot of compliments for it. The car will definitely help your chances, and not all women are gold diggers because they like your ride. Who wouldn't feel cool in a nice ass Audi?
There is nothing wrong with having "oneitis". There is nothing wrong with experiencing unrequited love either. It happens to everyone (that includes women!). To say that you should never like someone like a lot is ridiculous. But I am not going to argue with you because you are a PUA believer and people who believe in PUA are insane anyway so there is no convincing them. They will argue forever about it. Your thinking is warped though.
To be honest, I almost became a PUA cult member so to speak thinking it would quickly improve my "women" skills so to speak in a healthy way. After almost a year, I abandoned that sort of thinking. The final straw for me was when I read a book about online dating (the PUA way), and how once you get her on a date, you play a game called the "5 question game." These questions were very sexual, but they said the point was to get her horny so she'd have sex with you right then and there (taking her into the bathroom or something like that). At that point, I was like WTF, and just left PUA all behind (also deleted everything I learned about it from my memory). I mean, I can see how the PUA material COULD work depending on the person's personality and character, but it was completely in-congruent with myself.
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