Why is Online Dating So Atrocious for Men? (Asian, single, hubby)
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Since I am a pretty good amateur private snoop, I am pretty good at digging up information on people. It's pretty easy to find out the basics and whether or not they're lying about their age or not.
Much to my surprise, most people have been honest about their age.
The only ones I usually nail for lying about their age are good-looking women in their 50's. I found an executive with a local insurance company advertising herself as "49" when in reality she was 54. Her pictures were very good looking though.
It's really not that bad. Once I improved my profile (i.e. not basing it on checklists provided by the sites) and got some better pictures, I actually met some cool people. I think a lot of the negativity is a self fulfilling prophecy. Going into online dating with a better attitude should help.
At one time I was part of the top 1% which meant I got lots of messages. However as I aged I still got messages, just not from most of the men I wanted. Many men contact every woman but the average and above average tend to stick to the top women and if they fail will go down. I got far more messages from below average men than anything else.
??? How about if YOU initiate contact with the men you want?
At one time I was part of the top 1% which meant I got lots of messages. However as I aged I still got messages, just not from most of the men I wanted. Many men contact every woman but the average and above average tend to stick to the top women and if they fail will go down. I got far more messages from below average men than anything else.
Damned if they do and damned if they don't, I guess.
Why would you assume that 7's are getting messaged by 10's? We have a member here who is a 6-7 (she posted her pic, and the guys said she was attractive), and she didn't get any messages at all for the months she was on OLD. Some of that may be due to the fact that she was in her 30's, though that doesn't explain everything. But still, the point is, you can't assume OLD is a walk in the park for women. After all the obscene messages and one-sentence (or two-word ('s up?) ) responses are weeded out, often there's nothing left.
Sorry, I don't accept "one person exception" or "people I know" anecdotes as proof. An typical, decently attractive woman will get more than enough attention online. Very people dispute that, even here.
Okcupid has put out stats, feel free to check them out.
The profiles are BS. How the hell do you know whether or not you're going to interract and have good chemistry without meeting in person? Relationships don't work with checklists.
Going by that, it sounds like you are one of those who contacts people outside their range. The fact is some people have what are considered dealbreakers and to still contact them is wrong. I plainly stated no dads yet so many contacted me asking for a chance. Others have other dealbreakers.
At one time I was part of the top 1% which meant I got lots of messages. However as I aged I still got messages, just not from most of the men I wanted. Many men contact every woman but the average and above average tend to stick to the top women and if they fail will go down. I got far more messages from below average men than anything else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
Because men seem to all contact the same women, the top percentage who have more choices. They tend to ignore the other women who they would be more compatible with.
Which is it? I believe the first quote is more accurate than the second.
Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt
Damned if they do and damned if they don't, I guess.
Exactly. Of course top prospects are going to be the target of top prospects. But to imply that the rest of women don't get messaged because the top ones get them all is preposterous.
The original implication was that men seem to message only the top percentage of women and ignore the others. But as we've seen, this is not the case. Rather, the TOP men will message the top women, to which I respond, "well, obviously".
No offense, and I'm not trying to troll, but in my 50 years of living my experience has been that those people who run around telling you how great looking they are or used to be, are usually a disappointment (looks wise) when you meet them in person.
Again, not trolling, just sharing my observations.
Well not all looks will appeal to everyone but I was definitely pretty. However looks aren't everything.
Sorry, I don't accept "one person exception" or "people I know" anecdotes as proof. An typical, decently attractive woman will get more than enough attention online. Very people dispute that, even here.
Okcupid has put out stats, feel free to check them out.
Believe it or not, a TON of people dispute that. I am not among those people.
Also, don't expect to find any kind of "proof" anywhere. You just have to take your life experiences and factor in whatever else you feel is useful.
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