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What does that mean? Great in the dating game? Is it measured by frequency of dates? Happiness derived from dating? Something else?
This is an important question. By the measure of most guys I know, I'm doing very well in dating. By their measurement, this means "going out with lots of different women", which is fine, because that's all I'm looking for. Many men resent the option that they feel women have (to be able to pick and choose between a wide variety of dates), so they view that as a standard for "success". Under those criteria, I'm "successful".
Here's the tricky part: For all of the posts you see about what matters when it comes to getting dates, I'm the walking contradiction to half the posters on here, and a prime example of the other half.
I am totally an average looking guy. Like, the definition of "wouldn't stand out in a crowd". And, as many of the posters here will verify, I can be a total a**hole. I genuinely believe I'm more intelligent than most people, which NEVER comes off as a positive trait, even if you never bring it up...it reveals itself in your mannerisms.
And despite all of this, I get tons of dates. With great, intelligent, sophisticated, attractive women....not just the bottom-of-the-barrel women that are looking for a walking paycheck, and certainly not the women that are fixated on looks (as mentioned, I'm VERY average looking).
Many around here would argue that it's because I'm tall. Many others would argue that it's because I have a high-paying job. Yet others still might say that it's because I give zero f**ks about how I'm viewed by strangers. Personally, I'd like to think it's because I'm awesome...but that's because I'm pretty certain I'm also a sociopath.
Anyway, the point is that there's a possibility that women go out with me because they find some unique trait about me attractive, and the posters who claim that "every guy has a chance, just go for it!" are right.
Or....maybe the other people are right and being tall and having some money are all that matters.
What do you think you do that separates you from everybody else?
How do you meet women? Do you cold approach? Are you able to strike up a 15-20 minute conversation with a random woman and get a date in many cases?
I'm bad at finding relationships, but I'm good at dating. I don't have anymore qualities than other guys in my circle other than the fact that I'm a little better than average looking due to being very physically fit. I meet women through friends, online, or randomly at places like: stores, bars, festivals, or through work (which I try to avoid). I cold approach sometimes, but I play it of like I'm not approaching them until they signal that they want to be approached. This is important, as most women my age are taken. I might probe a little to find out if a woman is single through simple conversation, and I've found that when women are single they'll go out of their way to hint at it if they like you. At the end of the day it's all about confidence. I know that guys that have trouble dating hate hearing that, but it's true. The other thing is that you need to lose that fear of rejection. We all get rejected at some point, but it's typically not that bad, unless the woman is a waste of space, and you shouldn't care what someone like that says anyways. A normal rejection is usually just a simple BS excuse to not go out with you. Most woman are flattered to get the attention even from a guy they wouldn't date providing your not a creep about it. For most of us it's a numbers game.
If you throw enough $HIT against a wall eventually something will stick.
An average looking guy who is tall or has money is like an average looking woman who has large breasts. Your redeeming quality will increase your prospects.
Having that sort of confidence is a bonus, too. Women seem to be drawn to that, especially in a world where many guys are kissing their butts to get dates and sex.
Glad to see you're having success out there!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
This is an important question. By the measure of most guys I know, I'm doing very well in dating. By their measurement, this means "going out with lots of different women", which is fine, because that's all I'm looking for. Many men resent the option that they feel women have (to be able to pick and choose between a wide variety of dates), so they view that as a standard for "success". Under those criteria, I'm "successful".
Here's the tricky part: For all of the posts you see about what matters when it comes to getting dates, I'm the walking contradiction to half the posters on here, and a prime example of the other half.
I am totally an average looking guy. Like, the definition of "wouldn't stand out in a crowd". And, as many of the posters here will verify, I can be a total a**hole. I genuinely believe I'm more intelligent than most people, which NEVER comes off as a positive trait, even if you never bring it up...it reveals itself in your mannerisms.
And despite all of this, I get tons of dates. With great, intelligent, sophisticated, attractive women....not just the bottom-of-the-barrel women that are looking for a walking paycheck, and certainly not the women that are fixated on looks (as mentioned, I'm VERY average looking).
Many around here would argue that it's because I'm tall. Many others would argue that it's because I have a high-paying job. Yet others still might say that it's because I give zero f**ks about how I'm viewed by strangers. Personally, I'd like to think it's because I'm awesome...but that's because I'm pretty certain I'm also a sociopath.
Anyway, the point is that there's a possibility that women go out with me because they find some unique trait about me attractive, and the posters who claim that "every guy has a chance, just go for it!" are right.
Or....maybe the other people are right and being tall and having some money are all that matters.
As always, it's often some grey area in between.
Last edited by Freedom123; 03-12-2014 at 05:08 PM..
This is an important question. By the measure of most guys I know, I'm doing very well in dating. By their measurement, this means "going out with lots of different women", which is fine, because that's all I'm looking for. Many men resent the option that they feel women have (to be able to pick and choose between a wide variety of dates), so they view that as a standard for "success". Under those criteria, I'm "successful".
Here's the tricky part: For all of the posts you see about what matters when it comes to getting dates, I'm the walking contradiction to half the posters on here, and a prime example of the other half.
I am totally an average looking guy. Like, the definition of "wouldn't stand out in a crowd". And, as many of the posters here will verify, I can be a total a**hole. I genuinely believe I'm more intelligent than most people, which NEVER comes off as a positive trait, even if you never bring it up...it reveals itself in your mannerisms.
And despite all of this, I get tons of dates. With great, intelligent, sophisticated, attractive women....not just the bottom-of-the-barrel women that are looking for a walking paycheck, and certainly not the women that are fixated on looks (as mentioned, I'm VERY average looking).
Many around here would argue that it's because I'm tall. Many others would argue that it's because I have a high-paying job. Yet others still might say that it's because I give zero f**ks about how I'm viewed by strangers. Personally, I'd like to think it's because I'm awesome...but that's because I'm pretty certain I'm also a sociopath.
Anyway, the point is that there's a possibility that women go out with me because they find some unique trait about me attractive, and the posters who claim that "every guy has a chance, just go for it!" are right.
Or....maybe the other people are right and being tall and having some money are all that matters.
As always, it's often some grey area in between.
Guilty. I totally admit that I can be, or am, an intellectual elitist. :shrug: I don't come off that way in every situation, but definitely in some, and even discussed this with my beau. That's one major thing I'm selective about when it comes to dating. He must be an intellectual. That is paramount.
Funnily, I've received the typical "You have it easy because you're attractive." While that does play a role, and is the case for the majority of people, that isn't why I've had considerably "good" success. It's because, as Hive said, I'm f*cking awesome, and this is clearly demonstrated in my profile. My looks may draw someone in initially, but it's my grey matter and other uber awesome traits and qualities that spark actual interest. And for those within my niche, I'm somehow an alicorn. Bahahaha.
Can you approach women and get a date a good percentage of the time? Do those dates turn into anything?
Baby steps.
"I'm only going to smile and say hi to women. I'm not going to ask for numbers. I'm not even going to talk to them really, I'm just saying hi and that is it."
If you're the shy type don't set yourself up for failure by saying "I'm going out Fri., I'm going to talk to women and get some gahdamn phone numbers!" No your not, you're only to hate yourself when you chicken out.
The self esteem boost you get from reaching your 'saying hi' goal will turn into confidence.
(And I'm not talking about 1 day or even 1 month of practice. Do it until it becomes second nature.)
Can you approach women and get a date a good percentage of the time? Do those dates turn into anything?
Oh, god no. Like, not even close to "a good percentage". I'm gonna guess that, in an environment where people are traditionally open to being approached, I probably get a date 15% of the time. I strike out ALL THE TIME. But, I keep going until it works...because the alternative is "sit around and wait for a woman to ask you out". And the odds of that happening...well, I don't need to tell you. Suffice to say, it's much lower than 15%.
Exhibit A. ^^^ Like we keep saying, it doesn't really matter what you say. Just say anything. Just get the ball rolling.
For some men it could be this easy but for other men, such as myself, I cannot believe it would be anything other than painstakingly difficult.
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My looks may draw someone in initially, but it's my grey matter and other uber awesome traits and qualities that spark actual interest. And for those within my niche, I'm somehow an alicorn. Bahahaha.
