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Ok, so I met a girl from Okcupid the other day and for the first time in my life I think I've met a girl that a truly like and think is compatible with me. Unfortunately I met her online and you know how that goes, easy come, easy go, she's probably getting 20 messages a day.
We didn't exchange many messages online, she says she's not much of a texter and surprisingly she was willing to meet before exchanging many messages.
So we met last night and it seemed to go well. We both talked a lot about a lot of different topics and at the end of our date she mentioned that she may be able to do something on Sunday.
I told her to text me, is that bad? I'm thinking maybe that didn't sound right.
My question is should I text her first before Sunday? What should I say? And if she excepts another date what can I do to let her know I'm really interested in a subtle way? Buy her some flowers?
Thoughts would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Try a phone call. The kind where you use your voice.
Yes, I definitely recommend this advice to young men but I would increase the age range to 25 or 26. Young men need to start putting themselves first when it comes to career and money because most likely the women they are dating will come and go.
That's good advice, but always remember - nobody sits on their death bed wishing they would have worked more.
The OP and his posts in this thread are a textbook case of why overthinking and second-guessing things can cause issues. There's a good chance she's having uncertain/mixed feelings about you, Lost Leaf...because you're being wishy-washy. You've gotta be more assertive, OP...and yes that means sticking your neck out. Stop worrying so much about possible good/bad outcomes. Risk-aversion does not mix very well with dating and intimacy.
EDIT: if you're having trouble getting out of your head, maybe consider an improv class if one is available in your area.
THIS.
For some of us, it's not easy to do, we're wired that way, or we're jaded from past experiences...but you must find a way.
Women who have fallen for a man, women who are very attracted to a man...don't space dates out like this, they make room no matter what. This is truth, you can believe it or not.
You asked a question, and then rationalize the answers away. if you'd had a lot of success in the past with your ability to get and keep women interested, you wouldn't be asking at all, so maybe opening your mind rather than defending what hasn't worked might get you better results.
All true - and OP, you don't seem that "into" her, either. Why keep it up?
While I'm a married man, I hated that advice. WTF does that mean? I mean, if you're interesting, you are, if you're not, then you look like an idiot trying to fake it.
Plus, you'll be interesting to some people and not to others. That's normal and part of dating, isn't it?
Now, obviously, if you're straight up boring, that's a different issue.
Lostleaf,
I'm going to give you advise, and anyone who wants advise
from a woman who knows a little bit about this.
I am a woman, so listen up.
Women want men to chase them.
Women want a man who knows what he wants, and will do
what it takes to get it. It's called being assertive, and trust me,
it's a very good character trait to have.
Men fall love with a woman by the way she looks. They want to
take her to bed.
Women fall in love with a man by the way he treats her. Looks don't
hurt, but that's the way it is.
How can you tell her she is special by texting her? Where is the chemistry?
You should be the lead, in everything, to a point.
You should be planning the dates, talking to her on the phone, to see what
she likes, where she wants to go.
You don't know her yet. You may tell yourself you do, but how can you get
to know her if you don't even talk to her?
Don't be afraid of being rejected, try to learn from your past mistakes with
people.
Wine and dine her, treat her like she matters to you.
Respect her, which is something men don't do. Then they wonder why
they are single their whole life.
GOod luck to you and others in the future.
It's terrible being lonely and not understanding why.
I just told you why.
Call her and speak to her voice. She won't bite you. LOL!
Lostleaf,
I'm going to give you advise, and anyone who wants advise
from a woman who knows a little bit about this.
I am a woman, so listen up.
Women want men to chase them.
Women want a man who knows what he wants, and will do
what it takes to get it. It's called being assertive, and trust me,
it's a very good character trait to have.
Men fall love with a woman by the way she looks. They want to
take her to bed.
Women fall in love with a man by the way he treats her. Looks don't
hurt, but that's the way it is.
How can you tell her she is special by texting her? Where is the chemistry?
You should be the lead, in everything, to a point.
You should be planning the dates, talking to her on the phone, to see what
she likes, where she wants to go.
You don't know her yet. You may tell yourself you do, but how can you get
to know her if you don't even talk to her?
Don't be afraid of being rejected, try to learn from your past mistakes with
people.
Wine and dine her, treat her like she matters to you.
Respect her, which is something men don't do. Then they wonder why
they are single their whole life.
GOod luck to you and others in the future.
It's terrible being lonely and not understanding why.
I just told you why.
Call her and speak to her voice. She won't bite you. LOL!
She's not exactly giving him the opportunity lol
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