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Old 03-14-2014, 05:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meaning View Post
Have you tried telling the guy how to pleasure you? I mean you already know how you get off so why not show them how you do it?

I personally don't do that since my husband knows what he is doing. Most of the time he just surprise me what he does next, LOL.

But then again, I trust my husband and we're married so..
Yes, I communicate with them, but it just doesn't really matter that much to me whether it happens with them or not. Like I said, it'd be nice, but I don't feel a need for it to happen with them.
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Old 03-14-2014, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Michigan
365 posts, read 437,276 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Who told you you were a prude?

Sex "should" happen when people are motivated for it to happen. When they feel they know each other enough and care about each other enough for it to happen. If someone's in a hurry for it to happen, and you're not, then it's not a good match, and you move on.
As a guy; I've actually had this happen to me.
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Old 03-17-2014, 07:10 PM
 
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Well, I'm thinking about inviting him over. It'll be our 5th date. We haven't done anything besides kiss in a PG manner.
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Old 03-17-2014, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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Ok, I think it's obvious that there is something going on here out of the ordinary. I'm assuming you've been to the doctor about your problem... because you mention a medical dilator, which I've never heard of but.... think I get it.

Have you been to therapy, because you have a huge aversion to sex, probably trust and intimacy?

You seem to be completely turned off by the thought of sex with a man, or maybe not the thought, but the action.... whatever. You really need to tell men this upfront, because this is not an issue of you wanting to wait, you just really don't sound like you want to do it.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Ok, I think it's obvious that there is something going on here out of the ordinary. I'm assuming you've been to the doctor about your problem... because you mention a medical dilator, which I've never heard of but.... think I get it.

Have you been to therapy, because you have a huge aversion to sex, probably trust and intimacy?

You seem to be completely turned off by the thought of sex with a man, or maybe not the thought, but the action.... whatever. You really need to tell men this upfront, because this is not an issue of you wanting to wait, you just really don't sound like you want to do it.
I have a fear of sexual pain. If I thought it'd be painless, I'd just do it.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I have a fear of sexual pain. If I thought it'd be painless, I'd just do it.
I don't buy that it's a rational fear. Usually the sexual desire will completely overwhelm any fear. You're how old?
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I don't buy that it's a rational fear. Usually the sexual desire will completely overwhelm any fear. You're how old?
It's not rational. It's a condition called vaginismus and it doesn't have an age limit.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
It's not rational. It's a condition called vaginismus and it doesn't have an age limit.
So from what I read you are unable to have sex, and the dilator is kinda the only treatment which you are not using.

That's really something substantial that should be shared with your partner.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:36 PM
 
14,065 posts, read 14,185,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
So from what I read you are unable to have sex, and the dilator is kinda the only treatment which you are not using.

That's really something substantial that should be shared with your partner.
I've spoken to guys about it in the past, but I don't tell every guy that I date. Usually there's no need since I don't get physical with most of them.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:38 PM
 
2,732 posts, read 3,273,687 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Why do some men and women have an expectation that sex should occur early in a dating relationship (e.g. a few dates or a few months max), yet they're more likely to feel the need to date a few years before considering marriage?
Well, it's mostly men who expect that sex should occur early in a dating relationship. This is so because not only do men simply desire to have sex more frequently then women, but men are also trying to get more quickly to their return for investing their time and money into the woman they're courting.

You see, for men, at some point, it's just not fair for a man to keep spending his money and time on a woman who doesn't give him what he wants/needs in return. If a man keeps spending his money and time on a woman who does not give him what he wants/needs, he's being USED and is working towards somebody else's benefit for FREE.

As far as marriage, from a male point of view, it takes longer to make the decision to marry a woman because marriage is a form of adoption which obviously comes with a much greater responsibility. This is why guys get "cold feet" around the marriage stuff. Men know that being a husband means undertaking the role of being responsible for the safety and welfare of another persons life. I have a theory that the dowry system such as in India was set up to give young men more of an incentive to marry as the bride came with money and/or property.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I personally don't appreciate being expected to share my body with someone who I barely know (like after a few weeks or months), yet most reasonable people wouldn't expect to get engaged or married after knowing someone for such a short time. So why am I considered a prude for not wanting sex early?
And I certainly don't appreciate women who I hardly know that expect me to share my hard earned money and time with them in exchange for nothing. A man's money and time is just as valuable as a woman's sexuality, but somehow, what men bring to the table is always downplayed and men are coerced into giving first with only the hope that they can get what they want later down the line.

I propose that modern women with jobs should pay for themselves during the courting process, and before any sexual activity. It's the only fair road for both genders and nobody gets used. Only after a woman has agreed to go further, then should a man start picking up her portion of the tab.

Last edited by calicali01; 03-17-2014 at 08:56 PM..
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