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Old 03-17-2014, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I've spoken to guys about it in the past, but I don't tell every guy that I date. Usually there's no need since I don't get physical with most of them.
Meh. I'm on the fence, but if I was dating I don't know if I would want to go out with a man who can't have sex, I mean it is pretty much a big part of why people date.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:47 PM
 
14,065 posts, read 14,239,229 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Meh. I'm on the fence, but if I was dating I don't know if I would want to go out with a man who can't have sex, I mean it is pretty much a big part of why people date.
Having the condition doesn't mean that you can never have sex. What it means for me is that I don't expect it to happen within the first few dates. Obviously, if a guy can't deal with not getting sex in the timeframe that he wants, he'll just move on and that's fine.
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Old 03-17-2014, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Having the condition doesn't mean that you can never have sex. What it means for me is that I don't expect it to happen within the first few dates. Obviously, if a guy can't deal with not getting sex in the timeframe that he wants, he'll just move on and that's fine.
But you've dated guys longer than that and still didn't have sex, and you have no desire to have sex. I read that the condition is literally a reflex of the PC muscle which you have no control over. It prevents use of feminine hygiene, gynecological exams etc..

You don't want to have sex, you frame that a guy shouldn't want it in the first few dates (agreed), so you break up before it can GET to the point where sex would be a reasonable assumption.

I think there is a lot more going on here.
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Old 03-17-2014, 09:28 PM
 
14,065 posts, read 14,239,229 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
You don't want to have sex, you frame that a guy shouldn't want it in the first few dates (agreed), so you break up before it can GET to the point where sex would be a reasonable assumption.
I've never broken up with a guy who I was really into.
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Old 03-17-2014, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I've never broken up with a guy who I was really into.
You've never slept with him either, which seems more on topic.



It's up to you how you want to live your life.
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Old 03-17-2014, 09:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
You've never slept with him either, which seems more on topic.
I've only ever dated one person for more than a month or two. I barely knew the rest of the guys, so we didn't have sex.
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Old 03-18-2014, 06:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by calicali01 View Post
I propose that modern women with jobs should pay for themselves during the courting process, and before any sexual activity. It's the only fair road for both genders and nobody gets used. Only after a woman has agreed to go further, then should a man start picking up her portion of the tab.
I pretty much always offer to pay.
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Old 03-18-2014, 07:31 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I've only ever dated one person for more than a month or two. I barely knew the rest of the guys, so we didn't have sex.

Again, going in circles here. You admittedly earlier one of the reasons you end things so soon is because you fear sex may come up or that they soon may expect it. It is a self defeating game plan.

You have tools (dilators) to address / test the medical concern, but your don't want to use them out of fear.

Until you start taking control and WANT to change the status quo, this will continue. It doesn't sound like you really really want this dynamic to change.
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Old 03-18-2014, 08:23 AM
 
14,065 posts, read 14,239,229 times
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Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Again, going in circles here. You admittedly earlier one of the reasons you end things so soon is because you fear sex may come up or that they soon may expect it. It is a self defeating game plan.

You have tools (dilators) to address / test the medical concern, but your don't want to use them out of fear.

Until you start taking control and WANT to change the status quo, this will continue. It doesn't sound like you really really want this dynamic to change.
Ok.
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Old 03-18-2014, 09:06 AM
 
421 posts, read 586,822 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Because sex is needed to determine if there is any potential for a connection / LTR and marriage is decided after you know you want to be with someone for a long time/life, and there is a considerable gap between those two points. One is a beginning, the second is a new beginning.
I disagree. That can be determined right away. If your looking for long-term stuff, sex is a good excuse to make sure that she does not look gross whilst nude. If you female it's a way to gauge his endowment.
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