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Old 03-13-2014, 12:45 PM
 
7,230 posts, read 6,120,866 times
Reputation: 12265

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks View Post
That is a BIG contradiction that I do see on here. If I sleep with a woman too quickly I lose respect and interest in her. I never understood that the "I have to sleep with this person immediately to see if we're sexually compatible". I can teach a woman how to have sex the way I want her to, but I can't turn a hoe into a house wife as they say. I definitely don't think a woman is a "prude" for making a man wait.

Interesting. What about women who have sex with you because they are sexually attracted to you? Is someone a ***** because she enjoys sex?

Do you lose respect for yourself for having sex too soon?
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:48 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
88,672 posts, read 82,789,747 times
Reputation: 93303
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I don't know what the guy I'm dating thinks because we haven't discussed sex yet. I just assume that the guys I date will expect sex before I want it since that seems to be the "norm."
Don't assume anything. People are individuals. (Like yourself) Just cross that bridge when you come to it, and otherwise, enjoy the process. Don't project expectations on people, it'll only spoil your enjoyment of the moment.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:48 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
38,727 posts, read 29,441,370 times
Reputation: 36261
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne View Post
Interesting. What about women who have sex with you because they are sexually attracted to you? Is someone a ***** because she enjoys sex?

Do you lose respect for yourself for having sex too soon?

Can we not go down that path again for one thread? Please?

There are men and women with double standards and they think they're perfectly natural, and society condones them (in their mind), so it is ok in their minds. Nuff said.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:51 PM
 
14,082 posts, read 14,319,134 times
Reputation: 17567
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
So what? Again, so what? You're worrying about things that aren't yet an issue. That isn't logical or healthy.
Well yeah, I always do that. Dating stops being fun for me after the first few dates because after that, I assume we have to have sex or stop dating. I know you're saying I shouldn't care what the guys want if it's not what I want, but I'd obviously want to try to make things work if I liked someone.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:55 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
38,727 posts, read 29,441,370 times
Reputation: 36261
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Well yeah, I always do that. Dating stops being fun for me after the first few dates because after that, I assume we have to have sex or stop dating. I know you're saying I shouldn't care what the guys want if it's not what I want, but I'd obviously want to try to make things work if I liked someone.

You better figure out how to change this way of living and thinking, otherwise you're going to be miserable for a long long time.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:57 PM
 
14,924 posts, read 19,115,465 times
Reputation: 12053
You don't have to go anything you don't want to do, love, and let anyone tell you you have to.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:59 PM
 
2,927 posts, read 2,324,053 times
Reputation: 3008
Just enjoy dating.

Do not worry about the sex part.

If things are supposed to work, they will. If things are not supposed to work, they will not.
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:59 PM
 
7,230 posts, read 6,120,866 times
Reputation: 12265
Have you had relationships in which you waited until you were comfortable taking that next step and didn't do it out of some sense of obligation/expectation?
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Old 03-13-2014, 01:01 PM
 
Location: NYC
3,900 posts, read 3,590,820 times
Reputation: 6215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I'm not waiting for marriage. I just don't like feeling like I'm expected to have sex with someone within the first few weeks/months of knowing them. I think it's a reasonable expectation after maybe 3-6 months.
You should have the confidence that you are a woman worth waiting 3-6 months for despite how societal norms have shifted. However, confidence still has to be somewhat rooted in reality so if you find you are constantly not getting what you want, you should readjust your expectations. There are norms and then there are things you can get away with. Let's say you are a man who still believes a woman should stay in the kitchen and not have a career. Sure, this person's pool of potential dates would shrink but if he can still make it work, nothing is stopping him from holding onto these ideas. People are usually forced to conform closer to societal norms when they can't get what they want.
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Old 03-13-2014, 01:02 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
88,672 posts, read 82,789,747 times
Reputation: 93303
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Well yeah, I always do that. Dating stops being fun for me after the first few dates because after that, I assume we have to have sex or stop dating. I know you're saying I shouldn't care what the guys want if it's not what I want, but I'd obviously want to try to make things work if I liked someone.
This is a form of self-sabotage. You're spoiling your own fun with your projections and apprehensions. Anyone with the integrity and caring that you're looking for would be open to discussing the issue when it comes up. And it may not for awhile. It's not fair to the other person for your to assume things about him.
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