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That is a BIG contradiction that I do see on here. If I sleep with a woman too quickly I lose respect and interest in her. I never understood that the "I have to sleep with this person immediately to see if we're sexually compatible". I can teach a woman how to have sex the way I want her to, but I can't turn a hoe into a house wife as they say. I definitely don't think a woman is a "prude" for making a man wait.
Interesting. What about women who have sex with you because they are sexually attracted to you? Is someone a ***** because she enjoys sex?
Do you lose respect for yourself for having sex too soon?
I don't know what the guy I'm dating thinks because we haven't discussed sex yet. I just assume that the guys I date will expect sex before I want it since that seems to be the "norm."
Don't assume anything. People are individuals. (Like yourself) Just cross that bridge when you come to it, and otherwise, enjoy the process. Don't project expectations on people, it'll only spoil your enjoyment of the moment.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne
Interesting. What about women who have sex with you because they are sexually attracted to you? Is someone a ***** because she enjoys sex?
Do you lose respect for yourself for having sex too soon?
Can we not go down that path again for one thread? Please?
There are men and women with double standards and they think they're perfectly natural, and society condones them (in their mind), so it is ok in their minds. Nuff said.
So what? Again, so what? You're worrying about things that aren't yet an issue. That isn't logical or healthy.
Well yeah, I always do that. Dating stops being fun for me after the first few dates because after that, I assume we have to have sex or stop dating. I know you're saying I shouldn't care what the guys want if it's not what I want, but I'd obviously want to try to make things work if I liked someone.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
Well yeah, I always do that. Dating stops being fun for me after the first few dates because after that, I assume we have to have sex or stop dating. I know you're saying I shouldn't care what the guys want if it's not what I want, but I'd obviously want to try to make things work if I liked someone.
You better figure out how to change this way of living and thinking, otherwise you're going to be miserable for a long long time.
Have you had relationships in which you waited until you were comfortable taking that next step and didn't do it out of some sense of obligation/expectation?
I'm not waiting for marriage. I just don't like feeling like I'm expected to have sex with someone within the first few weeks/months of knowing them. I think it's a reasonable expectation after maybe 3-6 months.
You should have the confidence that you are a woman worth waiting 3-6 months for despite how societal norms have shifted. However, confidence still has to be somewhat rooted in reality so if you find you are constantly not getting what you want, you should readjust your expectations. There are norms and then there are things you can get away with. Let's say you are a man who still believes a woman should stay in the kitchen and not have a career. Sure, this person's pool of potential dates would shrink but if he can still make it work, nothing is stopping him from holding onto these ideas. People are usually forced to conform closer to societal norms when they can't get what they want.
Well yeah, I always do that. Dating stops being fun for me after the first few dates because after that, I assume we have to have sex or stop dating. I know you're saying I shouldn't care what the guys want if it's not what I want, but I'd obviously want to try to make things work if I liked someone.
This is a form of self-sabotage. You're spoiling your own fun with your projections and apprehensions. Anyone with the integrity and caring that you're looking for would be open to discussing the issue when it comes up. And it may not for awhile. It's not fair to the other person for your to assume things about him.
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