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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
Interesting. I think of sex as being mechanical too (in a bad way) which is why I don't really have an interest in doing it. I've never gotten to the point where I felt any kind of deep emotions for someone that would make me want to do it and I'm not interested on a superficial "I'm just horny" level either.
Are you just asexual? 1-2 % of the population is.
Or have you had bad experience? Or no experiences?
Or have you had bad experience? Or no experiences?
Maybe you shouldn't date at all, really.
Come on now.
Whatever negative feeling SLS might have for sex shouldn't preclude her from seeking out companionship.
My thinking is that, for whatever reason, SLS hasn't experienced really good, fun sex yet.
Or have you had bad experience? Or no experiences?
Maybe you shouldn't date at all, really.
I haven't read a lot about asexuality, so I don't know. If you can be asexual and still enjoy "self-pleasuring" then it's a possibility.
Regarding my experiences with other people, they weren't really bad, just not great. But I haven't actually had sex...just most of the activities leading up to actual sex. But if I haven't really enjoyed them that much, I don't see how the last penetration part is going to make it any better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaypee
Come on now.
Whatever negative feeling SLS might have for sex shouldn't preclude her from seeking out companionship.
It's ok. I've thought that too and I might just stop dating once I'm past childbearing age because it may not be worth it to me then, but I feel like I should at least try while I'm still fertile.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaypee
Come on now.
Whatever negative feeling SLS might have for sex shouldn't preclude her from seeking out companionship.
My thinking is that, for whatever reason, SLS hasn't experienced really good, fun sex yet.
It's not that outrageous. She says she doesn't want sex. Doesn't like the idea of it and doesn't like other sexual activities, and knowingly self sabotages relationships before it even comes up.
Interesting. I think of sex as being mechanical too (in a bad way) which is why I don't really have an interest in doing it. I've never gotten to the point where I felt any kind of deep emotions for someone that would make me want to do it and I'm not interested on a superficial "I'm just horny" level either.
I just don't think of sex as fun. I know it is for other people, but it's not my idea of fun, so that's really the reason why I'd rather put it off. My thinking was that after 3-6 months, maybe I'd feel more incentive to do it, but probably not. So I might as well just go ahead and do it early or just forget about it. Whatever motivation I'm waiting for that'll make me want to do it just never happens.
Given this and a couple of your other posts after this thread, I'm not thinking your question really has that much to do with a time line between having sex and marriage. Even if you were to find a man willing to wait until marriage, you REALLY need to disclose this information before a man falls in love with you in my opinion. Regardless of the reasons for your attitudes about sex, this could be HUGE to many men who desire a happy wife who enjoys sexual intimacy.
It's not that outrageous. She says she doesn't want sex. Doesn't like the idea of it and doesn't like other sexual activities, and knowingly self sabotages relationships before it even comes up.
Companionship can be had without dating.
I date primarily because I like making out and I do like the idea of being married with kids. There's just that whole "sex" thing...
Regarding that, I was never sexually abused, but I had bad medical experiences involving my nether regions when I was a child, so I developed the idea that sexual intercourse would be painful and never got over it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I date primarily because I like making out and I do like the idea of being married with kids. There's just that whole "sex" thing...
You're not the poster (sorry, can't remember) that wants to be married with kids, but doesn't really think she's straight / has confused sexuality, are you?
Or have you had bad experience? Or no experiences?
Maybe you shouldn't date at all, really.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I date primarily because I like making out and I do like the idea of being married with kids. There's just that whole "sex" thing...
Regarding that, I was never sexually abused, but I had bad medical experiences involving my nether regions when I was a child, so I developed the idea that sexual intercourse would be painful and never got over it.
I agree with jaypee that maybe you just haven't found the right guy to "do it" with yet. But really, when you have a strong emotional connection to that person, sex becomes more than just insert this-in-that, but much more intimate and enjoyable.
Some people are fine with just the physical pleasure of it, which isn't wrong at all, but you seem to feel differently. I think a lot of guys are willing to wait, or would actually prefer to do that, but don't admit to it. Three to six months doesn't seem unreasonable to me at all!
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