Have you & your spouse discussed what you will do if 1 of you becomes unable to meet the other's sexual/romantic needs? (wife, marriage)
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Please excuse the textspeak in the title -- there was a character limit.
This is inspired by srjth's thread. Have you talked about the what ifs? What if one of you has a permanent injury or health problem that makes sex impossible? What if the other finds, after years or decades, that love and compassion are not enough?
I don't think my ex and I talked about this in any serious way. We were not philosophically opposed to polyamory, though, although never interested in actually trying it while we were together. So I could see the incapacitated one maybe agreeing to a third spouse or partner.
We didn't make any vows that are likely to be broken. We only promised to stay together as long as we both love each other, and also realize that sometimes you love someone enough to let them go. In such cases, many - maybe even most - couples either split up or there's an affair. Those that don't often have a sexless marriage to begin with. Few people are so selfless as to stay when their needs are never going to be met, nor should they be, IMO.
Yes, we've discussed this. We have agreed to a poly or open relationship in such circumstances, and in extremis we'd get divorced yet continue to care for each other.
Please excuse the textspeak in the title -- there was a character limit.
This is inspired by srjth's thread. Have you talked about the what ifs? What if one of you has a permanent injury or health problem that makes sex impossible? What if the other finds, after years or decades, that love and compassion are not enough?
I don't think my ex and I talked about this in any serious way. We were not philosophically opposed to polyamory, though, although never interested in actually trying it while we were together. So I could see the incapacitated one maybe agreeing to a third spouse or partner.
I'm pretty sure I could accept it, if something happened to her. It would be a big blow for her (perhaps bigger than for me) and i would try to put myself in her shoes to gain a little empathy for her feelings.
I like to think if you SO was sick or could have sex for what ever reason it should be OK to sleep with someone .
Lets say you meet a great woman but she has fibromyalgia we get married and have a few kids but because of the pain or fatigue we do not have sex just not that often.
I like to think we can talk about and work something out . It put me in a though spot I love my family and wife kids and do not want to leave but I do have needs.
I like to think she would let me go to Vegas once a year to take care of my needs and come back to her.
Also i think it is a dick move to just cheat and not talk to her and let her know you love her and the kids and would die for them but you are sexually frustrated. A jerk move would be to leave your family because of little to no sex.
That would fall under my wedding vow in sickness and in health. Suck it up and deal with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
Absolutely falls under the "in sickness and in health" portions of our vows, and we're both solid on that.
Ditto!
No need for such a conversation
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