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View Poll Results: The approximate minimum you expect a potential husband to make mid career
150K yearly 33 23.91%
100K yearly 22 15.94%
75K yearly 29 21.01%
50K yearly 29 21.01%
$15/hr 6 4.35%
None 19 13.77%
Voters: 138. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-16-2014, 06:03 AM
 
Location: Bronx
16,200 posts, read 22,986,231 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt View Post
Lots and lots of people went to college and even grad school for a whole bunch of years and work hard - and they've had to downgrade their lifestyle.
This is very true. Plenty of college grads are washed up in sea of debt that can not be blown back into the sea. In some of the big cities throughout America like NYC, or Boston, plenty of women and men have to shack up with roomates to get by, most will never be able to afford to live on their own if ever. Plenty are also still receive money from mommy and daddys trust-fund.



Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium View Post
Agreed. Many women who are looking for guys who are bringing in the dough probably won't find him.

Most millionaires don't look like they are millionaires.

I am probably the wealthiest out of all my group of friends (no e brag) but they honestly think I am flat out broke. Not because I am shrewd or anything. My car is 10+ years old. I am still renting. I mostly pack a lunch to work, except on Fridays when coworkers all go out. I definitely have no problem covering for someone's cost if they forgot their wallet or something. However I don't look the part of being even middle class or anything.
I have to say that this is true. I see this all the time in Manhattan. Some of these women who come out of college halo jumping out of from the Midwest to the big city hoping to either land an amazing job or a man that has money. Most men that have money are already shacked up with a wife. Also you are right about who looks like millionaires. If I want to right now I can test drive a Firrari for 200 dollars a down park avenue, and people would assume that I'm rich, but not, I'm just a working class kid from the Bronx making an average income getting by. I know millionaires who own crappy cars, and some millionaries who live in rent controlled apartments. Plenty of millionaires do not live in extragenze which will burn money like hot fire. Some millionaires believe or not are actually cheap.

Quote:
Originally Posted by krieger00 View Post
I think most woman can tell how much a guy makes by what he does for a living and what neighborhood he lives in.

That is one reason why I am not dating is I work retail in live in the slums. At my age it is so embarrassing to admit you suck at life and did try hard in school so you work a dead end job with upward mobility. Also I do not date seeing I could not live like that so I am going back to college and have been for some time now .
This is very true to say the least. Location is key for what a man makes and how will a woman judge that guy. But in some occasions you can live in a slum but if your smart at saving and doing some investment here and their, build your credit score, you will do just fine in life financially. Its really up to the woman's shallow judgment if she wants to date you or not depending on your income or location, or even if your good looking or not, or if anything a great personality.

But I have to say that money is important for some women. I was shocked to see that so many votes were for men who make 150k a year. Plenty of men do not even have 150k in their checking accounts, or even in conjunction with all other assets such as home equity, ira, stocks, mutual funds, savings etc. I don't make anything near 150k a year. I wish I did make 100k more than what I earn but I'm far from it. I live in one of the most unequal income places in America and its becoming more and more difficult to save and invest. Instead of making 150k a year maybe I can have assets of 150k a more by saving, owning a home, investing in stocks. All I can say is this it does not matter where you live. From the Redwood Forest and to the New York Island, money is an critical choice factor for women because raising a family is expensive, but also health as well. No average woman wants a man with an average income, its like the same way how average women wants an physically attractive man and not an average looking man. One thing I have noticed with men who have money is that they also go for women who have money.
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Old 03-16-2014, 06:14 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,010 posts, read 2,263,651 times
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Old 03-16-2014, 06:42 AM
 
33,016 posts, read 27,388,296 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krieger00 View Post
I think most woman can tell how much a guy makes by what he does for a living and what neighborhood he lives in.

That is one reason why I am not dating is I work retail in live in the slums. At my age it is so embarrassing to admit you suck at life and did try hard in school so you work a dead end job with upward mobility. Also I do not date seeing I could not live like that so I am going back to college and have been for some time now .

Except that "the neighborhood he lives in" often is a poor measure of his financial position.

Many people will overstretch financially to keep up with the Joneses or to get their kids into a better school system.

On the other hand, Millionaire Next Door types are not trying to impress their neighbors; they live below their means and that includes where they live as long as it's a decent neighborhood.
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium View Post
No because a guy will honestly answer that he doesn't care. No rational is guy going to say they will reject a woman based on her boob size.

A woman on the other hand, will walk out on a date if a guy made a stupid homo joke.

Big difference.
A woman who is not a bigot will probably walk out on a date if he mad a "stupid homo joke." You are correct. I have no time for bigots.


Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium View Post
Isn't it ironic that in this thread, women who make alot are not willing to downgrade their lifestyle?

What about the guys pulling $150K+ and dating stay at home moms? Aren't they essentially downgrading their lifestyle to support to wife?

I thought we are living in an equal society here?
Is an equal society where every single person wants the exact same thing? That seems to be the definition of many of the men on this forum. Some men (like my husband) are perfectly happy supporting their family and having a stay at home mom for a wife. You'll also find many men on here (sounds like you are one of them) that want to have a woman that makes as much as he does. Likewise, you'll find women on here that have no problems being the primary breadwinner because they make a lot of money and you'll find women that prefer for their husbands to be the primary breadwinner. This has nothing to do with equality. This has to do with the fact that we are not all the same.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bucktownbabe View Post
Perhaps!

I don't know about you, but personally if that's true, I hope I always do!
Me, too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ForLoveOnly View Post
That's all I care about. As long as he does all the food shopping who cares what his income is!

But no bacon...yuk!
Blasphemy!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt View Post
Except that "the neighborhood he lives in" often is a poor measure of his financial position.

Many people will overstretch financially to keep up with the Joneses or to get their kids into a better school system.

On the other hand, Millionaire Next Door types are not trying to impress their neighbors; they live below their means and that includes where they live as long as it's a decent neighborhood.
The people who overstretch and the millionaires who live in a dump to stay hidden are in the minority.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enil View Post
You conceive our existence to be in the minority because we ghost in perfection. There are plenty of men who make quite a bit of money but don't show it off. We don't sport expensive clothes. We drive utility cars that have seen some good years. We don't use status accessory items like the rolex brand. We can make ourselves appear poor if need be, and trust me. The need is there all the time. Many of my clients, the ones who are paying hefty Alimony checks per year married stay-at-home mothers. Women weren't even particularly attractive, so no. They didn't marry Trophy wives.

And the men who marry career women, now those guys complain that they have another man in the house. I'm not talking about thieves in the night. Solution? don't marry. Outdated institution that brings no benefits to men. don't worry, I've made enough money from the divorce court to last me many lifetimes, I can find another job.




Exactly. If you are interested in dating women, tell them you live in x(find yourself a middle-class street) and go from there_
So, you are a millionaire who lives in the ghetto?
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:30 AM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,788,364 times
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I really wish this thread were about both men and women. I know the OP is interested in what women think, but the unintended result is that this thread makes it sound like only women have "financial requirements" and I am sure men do as well. If they don't, they are very short sighted... just as short sighted as I was when I married.

Are the men answering here willing to marry any women despite how much money she makes?

What if he makes $200k a year and she makes $10K?

Or what if she makes $200k too, but is up to her eyes in debt and digging deeper?

And what sacrifices to men expect women to make once married? Do they expect their wives to quit their jobs to raise the children... what if daycare is cost prohibitive? Is he willing to support a family? Or what if the woman makes more, is he willing to sacrifice his career if it comes to a choice that means choosing one spouse career over another? Would he be a house husband?

These are all financial considerations as well. I'd say both sexes need to think about it and look at them. Not just women.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enil View Post
I'm a man who has witnessed too many times what happens when a man broadcasts wealth for the world to see.
I never said all millionaires were ostentatious. My point was that if you take a nice neighborhood - most people are going to be living within their means. You aren't going to find someone who makes $12/hour with no savings living in a 500K home because there is no way they would have been able to buy the house in the first place. And chances are, you aren't going to find a lot of secret millionaires who made their money on the up and up living in the middle of a gang infested ghetto. So while you can't necessarily pinpoint how much someone makes to the exact dollar based on the neighborhood that they live in - you can assume that they are of a certain socioeconomic class.

When I was dating - I didn't care how much someone made - so I've never used someone's neighborhood as some sort of litmus test for dating. My point is just that someone's neighborhood is usually a pretty good indication of someone's socioeconomic class.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:39 AM
 
1,846 posts, read 2,040,890 times
Reputation: 958
Another thing even if I was a milionare I would make sure I raised my kids in a middle income home and gave them that sort of lifestyle. My best girlfriends mother did this with her and she only found out her wealth after her mother passed away. I don't want my kids growing up entitled and I would like to donate most of my accumulated wealth away when I die.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,588 posts, read 17,522,586 times
Reputation: 9462
I'd just like the guy I'm with to be able to share in expenses with me, not only day to day things, but also vacations and fun events. It's unfair for either one of us to have to pay for the other. I'm not a princess; I'm a grown woman with my own income.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Vail, CO
957 posts, read 1,058,096 times
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I make a good living, I could care less what my interest makes. so long as she's not irresponsible with money and lives within her means. I'm really not looking to pay off her student loan debt..

What you make doesn't matter, I have co-workers who make 6 figures that are broke as **** and in debt up to their eyeballs. I've actually had to loan them money at times so could get through the week. I don't get it…
Fun guys to party with though! They get women easily because they're on an image trip and they are always blowing tons of money on stupid things. It would be fun but it seems like a pretty shallow lifestyle to me.

Women like guys who are successful, it's just the nature of the beast. You need to look at the bottom of a well and be honest with your market value. Live within your means, date within your means, or you're gonna have a bad time.
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