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A balanced mix of these two is exactly what I'm looking for. That's what I've been telling myself for the past few days! A is indeed boring and that's the problem. I want a guy with a bit of excitement. D was all over the place emotionally and career-wise too.
This here indicates that neither one is the right guy for you. You just haven't found the right guy yet. Keep looking. Don't date a guy who you feel is boring.
Ruth4Truth - I don't understand why you keep suggesting counselling when clearly my issue is that I cannot seem to be able find the right guy.
You're in your early 20's, I don't know many people who've found "the one" at this stage of life. Ease up, take the pressure off. The right one wil come along. I'm not sure what the rush is? You don't need counseling, you need to relax. He'll come along when the times right.
You're in your early 20's, I don't know many people who've found "the one" at this stage of life. Ease up, take the pressure off. The right one wil come along. I'm not sure what the rush is? You don't need counseling, you need to relax. He'll come along when the times right.
Oh, I'm not necessarily looking for "The one". But I'm just looking for something "serious", not a fling. Marriage is not necessarily the end goal. Love is. I'm in my mid-twenties and I've never been in love, so ideally, I'd like to experience this feeling. That's all.
Oh, I'm not necessarily looking for "The one". But I'm just looking for something "serious", not a fling. Marriage is not necessarily the end goal. Love is. I'm in my mid-twenties and I've never been in love, so ideally, I'd like to experience this feeling. That's all.
May I recommend a fun web-site for you? It's about this funny woman's look for love. She's 32 now but I think she started the site in her mid-twenties. If you are familiar with the band Jet she dated the drummer for five years. DO NOT CLICK ON IT AT WORK!!!!!
The PhD candidate (date "A") isn't necessarily the prototypical "nice guy", and the bartender isn't necessary a "bad boy". That trope doesn’t apply here. But what does apply, is the understanding that "A" has excellent career potential and earnings-potential, while the bartender does not. Recall the spate of threads on women demanding (or at least preferring) that men attain some level of material wherewithal. Well, the counter-argument is that the possession of such attainment, while nice, is no guarantee of the man's dating success. And secondarily, women value such success when there's hankering for forming a family – and not until then.
The OP is dating for entertainment and passion, and not for lifelong commitment. If her objective is temporary and aimed towards pleasure and amassing of experiences, then indeed "A" loses his advantages and she should pursue her amusements with the bartender. She should explain this forthrightly to "A".
p.s. Here's yet another data point on how PhD engineers get snubbed....
A balanced mix of these two is exactly what I'm looking for. That's what I've been telling myself for the past few days! A is indeed boring and that's the problem. I want a guy with a bit of excitement. D was all over the place emotionally and career-wise too.
Person A is White collar ---------> Lives to work/Has very few life experiences which makes him sound boring/Probably earns a high figure salary which stays idle in his bank account
Person D is Blue Collar ----------> Works to live/Probably has more life experiences and knows how to live life to the fullest/Doesn't earn a high figure salary
Maybe this info will help you make the right decision.
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