Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've recently noticed a pattern with some guys I dated (I'm 24). A lot of guys are apparently quite promiscuous and somehow take pride in it. I believe that so long as the person is clean, I don't care about how many partners they've had. It's really none of my business. However, I always ask them to swap test results before engaging in any sort of sexual activity with them (which would always include a condom, regardless of the nature of their results). The problem is whenever I have this "tests" talk with them, they turn cold about sleeping with me.
Some tell me "I use protection, that's enough" (i.e: I never get tested and I'm putting both my health and other people's in danger) - Yeah right. How about those nights when you were completely hammered and had no clue what you were doing? And so on and so forth. I can't trust this answer and I don't wanna put myself in danger. Some just disappear when I ask them for their test results, like "How dare she? It's sex not an investigation".
Why?
I usually drop the losers anyway, but as responsible adults, that's the way things should be imo. I've had a guy completely finishing me after I asked him his test results. We dated for a couple of weeks. Next thing I know, after Googling him, I found out he had multiple accounts on different sex websites where he is seeking random sexual encounters (not that it's any of my business, but that's why I'm wary and ask them for tests results in the first place, which makes me suspicious when they decline).
I understand it takes the spontaneity of the first sexual intercourse, but it is a serious matter. I'm educated enough to know people should get tested regularly. In today's society, why would those men just turn cold?
When I was dating I did the same thing as you. If a guy wouldn't get tested, there was no way I would have sex with him. If I was suddenly single I would still ask the same thing to potential partners.
When I was dating I did the same thing as you. If a guy wouldn't get tested, there was no way I would have sex with him. If I was suddenly single I would still ask the same thing to potential partners.
I find it quite hard to believe that some people can walk around blindly. Not being aware of your own health state is quite reckless, especially as it also concerns potential partners.
Seems to me those people are afraid of even taking the tests because they're apprehensive of the results.
Whether or not they're hiding something, better be safe than sorry. Seems as though STDs tests is a taboo subject for some people.
Health and safety outweigh any value of "spontaneity." If guy feels spontaneity is more important, then he'll have to exercise that spontaneity with someone else.
Health and safety outweigh any value of "spontaneity." If guy feels spontaneity is more important, then he'll have to exercise that spontaneity with someone else.
I don't trust them and I trust the guys being just with me (at least in the beginning). What if they had their test taken two weeks ago but slept with somebody in the meantime?
I always have them use condoms. And I discuss it between first kiss and first sex (which is not happening in the same week!).
That is also one of my requirements. I did asked my husband for AIDS/STD test, when we were dating. He did say he got AIDS test 2 yrs before, and it was negative.
He said he got AIDS test because he had colonoscopy. He said he does not trust the doctors.
I normally would not accept their word for it, but for some reason, I accepted his word for it. Luckily he was telling the truth. Plus the fact that he said he never had sex for 9 yrs when he met me. And even said he was practically a 'virgin', LOL.
I've slept with lots of women and will be the first to admit, I've been lucky in that regard, in that I've never had an STD. And yes, I've been tested. The big one, we all worry about is HIV, but there are many others that can really mess up your life if you catch it. HIV is wrongly viewed by young people today as not being serious anymore since there are treatments that can all but ensure a normal life span. But who wants to be on drugs, all day everyday?
I now initiate this conversation with any woman I'm thinking to sleep with. And yeah, it sucks, and it dampers the mood, but in reality, it's the world we live in today. If you're going to have sex with someone, just get it done, forget about it and move to having great sex.
I heard that Herpes is not even tested with the regular STD tests?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
