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Old 01-03-2008, 08:07 AM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 7,196,903 times
Reputation: 3102

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To the original poster....I too am a stay at home mom. I have three boys I take care of as well as my husband. I think every wife who stays home all the time have issues at one point or another where they don't feel valued. You really need to sit down and talk with your husband and clear the air. He probably has no idea you are feeling this way. If you are having issues with not having money then you need to tell him that you need your own debit card. As his wife you should have access to your accounts. (I am not a believer of separate accounts) You should be able to get out 20 dollars or whatever amount to buy whatever. It is not just "his" money especially if you aren't working.

You are never going to feel better about this until you talk to him. Venting to us isn't going to help you need to talk to him. If he is unwilling to give what you need emotionally or monitarily than you need to reconsider your position, get a job and get out.
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Old 01-03-2008, 08:46 AM
 
4,271 posts, read 15,224,543 times
Reputation: 3418
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoliticalGab View Post
1 - Her working part-time is irrelevant. None of that money comes into the house. So when I factor in the time she actually does work, that has nothing to do with it. If she wants to put some money in the house, THEN we can talk.

2 - The wife has not been reduced. I do the shopping because if I don't, it doesn't get done. Then when we're totally out of food she'll get one or two nights dinner from the expensive stores. Thats why I do it.

3. Cooking three meals, and not for everybody in the house mind you, is nothing. Especially when one meal is a bowl of cereal, the next is a microwave pizza, and the last is pasta. So maybe I overstated it. The word "cooking" should be taken lightly.

4. Laundry. I can pay a laundry service to do it for $30 a week. I'm not doing it, period. I already do enough.


I'm guessing you're either too young to really understand, or divorced?
Saying that I'm too young to understand is a cop out and completely groundless for an argument and no, I'm not divorced. Neither my age nor marital status has anything to do with understanding your marriage. This discussion is going nowhere. You obviously feel very strongly about how little your wife contributes to the family and how little apreciation you receive. I've made my point earlier: you don't get respect and appreciation unless you give it. Maybe instead of resenting her for the lack of work she does, you should take the initiative by telling her what you do appreciate about her. With what you've written thus far, however, I find it highly improbable that you will take the first step. At any rate, this discussion has ended for me.
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Old 01-03-2008, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 9,737,072 times
Reputation: 1398
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniway View Post
what do you think about a marriage wherein a wife role is only to be at home where the husband came home. i mean literally, handling money, doing the groceries, bills, the whole budgeting and money matters are all up with the husband. even not giving an allowance to the wife. what kind of relationship is this? please help me comprehend the situation. would you still be happy and continue this kind of situation?
If she's happy with it, why worry for her? Some women still want to be in relationships like this, so who are we to judge? If she's unhappy with it, it's up to her to change things, because the guy isn't going to change.
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Old 01-03-2008, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,972,913 times
Reputation: 346
[I think far too many American women whine too much. That skin-headed fruit Dr. Phil and Oprah

If you base your premise upon those two crap shows, anything more you would say would not be credulous.
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Old 01-03-2008, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,972,913 times
Reputation: 346
[This is the first time I've been able to just veg in front of the computer in DAYS if not weeks

Sounds like whining to me
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Old 01-03-2008, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,972,913 times
Reputation: 346
Her working part-time is irrelevant. None of that money comes into the house

And you know this how? Is this woman, perchance, your wife?
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Old 01-03-2008, 10:45 AM
 
Location: On another site. This one is lame :) Trying to give it a second chance though.
105 posts, read 70,870 times
Reputation: 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillietta View Post
Her working part-time is irrelevant. None of that money comes into the house

And you know this how? Is this woman, perchance, your wife?
You should read the whole discussion before launching a baseless argument.
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Old 01-03-2008, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,947,099 times
Reputation: 13467
Okay PoliticalGab, I think you've done enough whining to last a century. We're done with this already. There is NO reason to "stay for the kids". If you want out of your marriage be a MAN and get out!!!
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Old 01-03-2008, 03:27 PM
 
Location: NJ
23,817 posts, read 33,320,804 times
Reputation: 30671
Quote:
Originally Posted by foma View Post
Saying that I'm too young to understand is a cop out and completely groundless for an argument and no, I'm not divorced. Neither my age nor marital status has anything to do with understanding your marriage. This discussion is going nowhere. You obviously feel very strongly about how little your wife contributes to the family and how little apreciation you receive. I've made my point earlier: you don't get respect and appreciation unless you give it. Maybe instead of resenting her for the lack of work she does, you should take the initiative by telling her what you do appreciate about her. With what you've written thus far, however, I find it highly improbable that you will take the first step. At any rate, this discussion has ended for me.

His posts would be better in his own thread, hate to take away from the OP, but I'm sure if his comments were split out a bunch of people would love to respond.

Do mods split topics here?
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Old 01-03-2008, 03:55 PM
 
Location: On another site. This one is lame :) Trying to give it a second chance though.
105 posts, read 70,870 times
Reputation: 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
Okay PoliticalGab, I think you've done enough whining to last a century. We're done with this already. There is NO reason to "stay for the kids". If you want out of your marriage be a MAN and get out!!!
Oh wow, "we're done with this", lol. Did you just perform the coronation in front of a mirror, or did you video it for posterity?

"Be a man and get out" lol. When the court awards me my kids, I'll gladly be on my way. Until then if my choice is tolerating her, or losing my kids, I'll stick around. Like it or not honey, REAL MEN do what they have to do for their kids.

Contrary to what you might believe, a door knows no gender. She's free to go and leave the kids with me at any time. At least I DO frequently and complain sparingly, which is a whole lot better than doing almost nothing and complaining incessantly.

Anyway. The point of my posts was to give the OP a picture from the other side. Obviously it has fallen on deaf ears with everyone in the thread, but hey, I tried.

You may now resume your regularly scheduled man-bashing.
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