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However, the more I read/see/hear, I have trouble not getting cynical about women's libidos in general being much lower than they claim on the Internet.
I find it to be higher in real life than what women say online.
And so what that I'm stronger? I mean, that doesn't even register. If were dating and going to have sex, what does that matter? I mean, seriously, what is this living in fear stuff? People watch too many crime dramas. After hanging out awhile any woman with a bit of a clue is going to know if the guy is a total piece of sketch.
As much as I hate to use the term, this is male privilege. When you've been intimate with a woman, you've probably never had the idle that that "she could really physically hurt me, and I wouldn't be able to stop her." I dated a guy who pinned me down while we were horsing around, and he laughed in my face when I told him to stop, that he was freaking me out. He didn't want to hurt me, but he could have, and I had an actual, physical fight or flight reaction.
"Three, four dates max. If it doesn't happen by then, I'm just not that into him."
That is plenty of time in my mind too. By the time I get to the 4th date we have known each other for a month, I know many of her friends, have had 100s of texts,many phone calls, and some meet ups. Plenty of time! I always let the women control the when just because of silly contrived notions like the 3 date rule.
I think the time frame between dates matters, too. Three dates in one week - probably too soon for a lot of people.
Three dates in three months (but you see each other outside actual "dates") is different.
Trust me - any non-d-bag guy is so glad that she's there, and naked, he doesn't care if she's "imperfect".
Well, that's what I said later in my post. The first part of the post was in response to the idea that women who old out for a long time must think their body parts are some prize. That's not at all how the vast majority of women think. Some are insecure about themselves, others are happy to just "move the relationship to the next level", and enjoy the process.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
As much as I hate to use the term, this is male privilege. When you've been intimate with a woman, you've probably never had the idle that that "she could really physically hurt me, and I wouldn't be able to stop her." I dated a guy who pinned me down while we were horsing around, and he laughed in my face when I told him to stop, that he was freaking me out. He didn't want to hurt me, but he could have, and I had an actual, physical fight or flight reaction.
Ok, you might be right (you make good points), but how would this have been different from the first date, or on the third, or the 8th? Most people learn all they need to know about someone (as to whether they're a jerk or not) within a couple of dates, unless they're just not perceptive.
And I've been hurt a few times during sex (got a good shiner), but it was part of the scene. Made for a good story!
You're right though for calling that male privilege.
Well, that's what I said later in my post. The first part of the post was in response to the idea that women who old out for a long time must think their body parts are some prize. That's not at all how the vast majority of women think. Some are insecure about themselves, others are happy to just "move the relationship to the next level", and enjoy the process.
And some can see the emotional wrecks, the confusion and bitterness that prevails among many women who allow their bodies to be nothing more than a vessel with man after man after man, all the while telling themselves how important it is to get the sex very early on in a relationship. That is why many women choose to hold off - they don't to become one of them.
For some of us, finding out how someone is in bed is part of finding out early on if the other person is a good match. I would be highly irritated if I waited three, four, five months, and when the moment of truth arrived, found out he had a micro penis, had a problem with premature ejaculation, bumbled around like he didn't know what he was doing, squealed like a girl when he climaxed, or had techniques I couldn't stand.
I think women who hold out for that length of time assume that the man will automatically be thrilled with what he finally gets, and as we can see from other threads on here in which women ask why a man would put all the time and effort into seeing them and then disappear after they have sex, that is not always the case. Even when a plain ol' saltine seems like a Ritz to a man because he's starving, sooner or later, he figures out that it's really just a saltine.
But to be fair, there is a big difference between 3 dates and 3-4 MONTHS of dating.
It is always possible that women who "hold out" make the assumptions you assert - but the more likely scenario is a lot simpler.
Smart women looking for real relationships, not just casual flings or f*ck buddies, take their time before becoming involved sexually.
Taking her time can actually save time in the long run.
It can prevent a woman from making a mistake or muddying the waters with too much emotion when a guy may not actually be the right one for her.
I honestly think people should just do what works for them and what they feel comfortable with. It's usually better to do that, because then you attract a like minded person. That's really all it takes. I don't think there's really a right or wrong.
I'd like to get some perspective on this. I met a lady back on Mardi Gras day (3/4) and we hit it off really well that evening. We've been on two more dinner dates since then that I felt went well. I really enjoyed her company and I would be interested in a relationship with this woman.
The problem is that things don't seem to be progressing properly. We've made out with each other during each date but she doesn't invite me inside afterwards. I don't want to waste my time. I'm thinking she is "on the fence" with me and probably is seeing someone else also. Is it time to write this off yet?
Not sure is this has been discussed. You met this lady at Mardi Gras? Did she have a husky voice, a hint of a 5 O'clock shadow, and a knot in the middle of her throat? Just asking...
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