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This is high school ok. Please read it well and give your opinion.
Me and this girl have been clicking instantly ever since our school's weekend trip at a resort (2 weeks ago i believe) . Like she was such a breath of fresh air. We flirted all the time, every one thought we went out but still have to get to know each other.
I'll just say this, yesterday this has gotten really rocky. Like in class she wasn't talking to me and I didn't like that, i just love making her smile so much and I wasn't feeling the vibe. Then later on we seemed normal again; cuddling on break. Then we had this event thing after school and there she was not acting the same so i just left her alone and did my thing.
She was texting me in the same room talking about how im always with this girl who is my friend in all seriousness; we were playing a game while she was in the corner. ( And I strongly DOUBT thats why shes acting this way)
So after the event was over we were getting ready to leave , she still wasn't paying me much attention so I just left with my other friends.
I receive a text saying something like " Im getting on the train, all of you just left, I wanted a kiss and every time i look you're with.. (the girl's name) "
So when i get home we had a argument, ill just sum it up.
I said why were you acting so weird today?
She's like im not acting weird I show you so much attention, I text you everyday, let you know i miss you , get mad if you dont come to class, ask to see you outside of school, and we hung out at lunch. I have to be up your @ss every second or else you think i am acting funny?
Meanwhile these were the things that I liked and shes not understanding that today is the only time I had a problem with her non activity. So I really do not believe that my friend is the problem, I think she has something else going on. Im just really down about that possibility. I promised myself not to get caught up .
Okay, I'm going to be serious with you - while once again being thankful I'm long out of HS.
Obviously none of us can know what's in her head but if I had to guess, I'd say you two are too up in the air. She doesn't know where she stands. She's also probably doing the same thing you are because we will do that sort of thing. When you appear caught up and busy she goes and does her own thing which in turns draws your notice. You two are going round and round the same little circles.
In general, women...we don't tend to like not knowing what we're doing in a relationship, any relationship. That can then lead us to seem hot and cold. You act like you're going out sometimes, but not all the time and you're not actually going out, you just seem like you are...sometimes. And since you're also sometimes talking to other girls, friends or not, who knows what that means you two are or aren't. To her, you probably seem hot and cold too. Flirting one minute, going off with your friends the next - made worse when you left without saying goodbye. (Looking at it from the young female perspective.)
Okay, I'm going to be serious with you - while once again being thankful I'm long out of HS.
Obviously none of us can know what's in her head but if I had to guess, I'd say you two are too up in the air. She doesn't know where she stands. She's also probably doing the same thing you are because we will do that sort of thing. When you appear caught up and busy she goes and does her own thing which in turns draws your notice. You two are going round and round the same little circles.
In general, women...we don't tend to like not knowing what we're doing in a relationship, any relationship. That can then lead us to seem hot and cold. You act like you're going out sometimes, but not all the time and you're not actually going out, you just seem like you are...sometimes. And since you're also sometimes talking to other girls, friends or not, who knows what that means you two are or aren't. To her, you probably seem hot and cold too. Flirting one minute, going off with your friends the next - made worse when you left without saying goodbye. (Looking at it from the young female perspective.)
That seems true. Before she did say she wasn't sure if i really like her or not. So i guess ill be more open , tomorrow we are supposed to be going out somewhere. How should i go about making this right again?
Last edited by BigRock11; 03-28-2014 at 08:29 AM..
That seems true. Before she did say she wasn't sure if i really like her or not. So i guess ill be more open , tomorrow we are supposed to be going out somewhere. How should i go about making this right again?
Ahhh see, that is a critical piece of information! I now stand firmly behind what I said.
Open is good but your best bet, if you really like this girl, is to ask her out for real this time. No we're kinda going here or there and kind of flirty, maybe seeing each other but not really.
Another good way is to say something like: 'you know I'm not really interested in other people, right?' Keep in mind I worded it that way on purpose. The above waylays her fears without sinking you into a relationship if you're not ready to be in one.
Now, for all that, I'm going to give you a gentle warning. If I have the timeline right, you've been messing around with this girl for a grand total of two weeks. IMO, if the drama is this high and she's this insecure at the two week mark, you might want to give serious thought as to whether or not you want to pursue her further. On the one hand, easing her fears may make everything better. But on the other, from an older perspective, it's way too early for you to be having these kinds of issues with someone you're newly interested in. If you're like every other HS'er I've ever known, myself included, you will promptly ignore this warning.
ETA: As for the rest of you that keep dismissing his problem because it's high school, quit sounding so bloody superior. Yes, it's HS. Yes there is lots of drama but that doesn't make him, his feelings or even his problem less valid. Geez. We've all been there before and at the time it was oh so world ending.
Ahhh see, that is a critical piece of information! I now stand firmly behind what I said.
Open is good but your best bet, if you really like this girl, is to ask her out for real this time. No we're kinda going here or there and kind of flirty, maybe seeing each other but not really.
Another good way is to say something like: 'you know I'm not really interested in other people, right?' Keep in mind I worded it that way on purpose. The above waylays her fears without sinking you into a relationship if you're not ready to be in one.
Now, for all that, I'm going to give you a gentle warning. If I have the timeline right, you've been messing around with this girl for a grand total of two weeks. IMO, if the drama is this high and she's this insecure at the two week mark, you might want to give serious thought as to whether or not you want to pursue her further. On the one hand, easing her fears may make everything better. But on the other, from an older perspective, it's way too early for you to be having these kinds of issues with someone you're newly interested in. If you're like every other HS'er I've ever known, myself included, you will promptly ignore this warning.
ETA: As for the rest of you that keep dismissing his problem because it's high school, quit sounding so bloody superior. Yes, it's HS. Yes there is lots of drama but that doesn't make him, his feelings or even his problem less valid. Geez. We've all been there before and at the time it was oh so world ending.
Thanks
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